2-0-1-5

Well hello there 2015...

Now that you've arrived, I also recognize that the holiday vacation will soon be over before I know it, so before I get caught up in business once again, allow me to whip up my traditional year-end and new year post as my way of concretely looking back and looking forward.

I also recently came from our One Move-One Wave Camp at church where I was a part-time camper, part-time speaker. I spoke about the benefits of consistency (BIG Word), but despite projecting the image of someone who's consistent, I must confess that I've been finding it difficult to start doing the commitments I made in the same camp.

It's just January 1, I know, and I'm probably being too hard on myself; but I intend to start this year right so through this post, I hope to begin fulfilling my goal to journal (physical or virtual) at least once a week on my insights and highlights.

It's just Metro Manila for us this year's holidays and the Paglicawan Annual Family Reunion was a blast as usual. It was held at The Ipil Gardens in Marikina (definitely a nice place for events and reunions) and were hosted by Tito Ed and Tita Helen's brood. It was Alfie's first time to join our reunion and it was stressful both for him and us, but the kids enjoyed having him around and I bet he also enjoyed it too especially the balloons and pingpong balls..hehe! Tita Saline, Kuya Jan, and Ivan also joined us for the first time. They also stayed in the house for about a week and these are some of my observations: (1) My lungs could hardly stand cigarette smoke so I'm very blessed that nobody in our household smokes and I only had to bear with it for a week; and (2) Having a toddler in the house is fun but we're not used to the disorganization and clutter associated with it...the oc-oc in me could not help but be stressed whenever he would step on the carpet with his outdoor slippers on...hehe

Speaking of carpet, a lot has been added to beautify our humble home such as indoor plants, our new dining table, some decorations here and there and a much bigger television. Our home is one of our highlights and one of God's wonderful blessings to our family in 2014 and I'm very grateful (especially in times of storms and strong winds) that we have this shelter to protect us and keep us warm and safe.

Each day, I praise God for another chance at life, for protection, good health and provision, but among my highlights include:
- Promotion to Nurse II (thank you Lord!)
- my stint and unexpected win as Ms. Nursing 1st Runner up (highlight pa rin to..haha)
- HMA win of our Paper Reduction Initiative, God's favor at work through my bosses, and little victories and accomplishments each day
- Consistent song leading at church, and my being part of the Prayer Team, One Wave core
- My cell group with Kat and my own cell group with Jam and Nona
- God's provision for my masteral studies
- and the biggest surprise and promise of the future: Med School in 2016! (I'm claiming it na po Lord:)

And once again, I can't help but be teary-eyed just remembering how faithful you have been then and now. Despite my struggles, you've been there...you have always been there for me, waiting for me to get hold of myself and remember who you are and who I am because of what you have done for me.

So thank you Lord! and as I enter 2015, I confess that I have this little dread not knowing what the future will bring; but I intend to fight it and triumph over it as I hold on to your perfect love that drives out all fears. I can't say with certainty Lord that I've become a better person with my fairly equal amount of hits and misses, but I hope that as I sincerely try, you would continue to help me overcome my emotions and my tendency to worry too much. Help me to rejoice and not be too serious with stuffs..hehe..but teach me to be serious as well on things that really matter.

This 2015, I'm believing You for wonderful surprises yet again, as I prepare myself for what you have set aside for me in 2016:) Your will be done in my life Lord, and may all of me give glory to You now and always!

Happy New Year from Seezums and Alfie!

Love,

Katy

Forgiveness and Gratitude

Here I am wanting to preserve a few thoughts before I go to sleep...

I just finished Youversion's devotional plan by Joyce Meyer entitled The Power of Being Thankful, and indeed, I am very grateful for the nuggets of wisdom God has revealed to me once again through His Word.

The devotional reading on healing brokenness through gratitude struck me most especially, because it is very far from the standards of this world we live in. Carol, my officemate and friend, said that she is afraid for me and my future because she thinks I have the makings of a martyr based on how I approach situations, and how I react to those who have wronged me. She tells me that it's easy to forgive but not to forget. But I believe that they go hand in hand...because true forgiveness is not given only when the pain is gone..it involves the daily act of making the decision to give up one's entitlement to hurt back a person no matter how deserving he or she may be..

And it's definitely far from easy especially for a melancholic like me who is gifted with a good memory..hehe..One word I would use to accurately describe myself is 'mapagtanim' because my brain effortlessly stores memories of broken promises.

I've actually just been learning through practice the art of 'deliberate forgetting'- because I don't really forget, but each time I remember, I surrender my hurts to God and just allow Him to heal me with just the right antidote- a heart that chooses to praise and thank Him for what is left, over what has been taken away; with full trust and confidence in God, my healer, that He'd turn my mourning into dancing and my sorrows into joy. Carol would throw situations in marriage at me and would ask me how I would respond to test how far I can go. She was most fearful when I answered that where there is room for separation, there is room for forgiveness (I read this somewhere..hehe). Then I tell her, I really wouldn't know how I would respond until I get there..and I pray that I won't have to get there so I'm taking my time, praying for and discerning God's chosen partner for me. But in approaching all my relationships, I really pray that I would have the courage and the strength to forgive myself and others because let's accept it, no matter how much we try to be careful, we still fail.

But God is good and faithful, He provided us with the best role model- Himself. He never tires of forgiving us despite our repeated mistakes. So whenever I find it hard to forgive, I remember the Father's sacrifice when He sent His only son Jesus to die on the cross so that I may be justified from all my past, present, and future sins. And just thinking about it never fails to bring me to tears of immense gratitude, and helps me find the courage to do the same...

Good night!

I had an amazing highlight moment today when...
as I was receiving documents from Maricar, a ward clerk in the hospital, out of the blue she asked me, "Christian ka ba?" And with my biggest smile I answered yes, which she further affirmed by saying, "Matagal ko nang napansin"...so in front of her I praised and offered God the glory for letting His light shine through me! Maricar is also a Christian by the way and she's one of our most responsible and reliable clerks...I dared not to ask what was it she saw in me but I'm just so grateful that even without having to put the Christian label on my clothes or my forehead, some people notice...yay! Thank you Lord and unto You be all the glory as I work harder to make you famous with all that I am and have! I love you!