Pandemic Life Updates

 Hello...it's been a while:)

A lot has happened to me since I graduated from medical school so updates are in order:

August 2021-July 2022 - Post-grad internship during the pandemic. Aside from a very short period when we were allowed to volunteer on site, I was an e-ntern for almost the entire duration of internship. But what we lacked in patient interactions, we compensated in terms of lectures, case discussions and return demos. I used to envy some batchmates who only met for sessions a few hours in a day; but now that I am performing roles as a physician, I am grateful for God's grace to still maximize that opportunity. Now I am able to apply the knowledge I have learned and I can see how fortunate we are to have learned all that during internship.

July - October 2022 - very stressful months reviewing for the board exams in a short period without certainty if it will push through or will be postponed; but God's grace was more than sufficient. Initially, when it was still allowed, the FEU-NRMF Library became my daily cool spot as I was having difficulty focusing at home. I needed a quiet but new environment and I thank you Lord for the very accommodating library staff who opened the aircon even when I was reviewing alone in the area..huhu.. Sadly, it had to be closed when stricter community quarantine guidelines were imposed. During that period, I am especially grateful for my Virtual Library classmates - Hannah, Kirs, Ags, Marionne, Helen, and Aubrey as we became each other's support system during the review. We met, prayed and studied daily, kasama na din lahat ng iyak, rants and chismis...haha... I even revived my old twitter account to be one with Batch 2020  in our frustrations regarding the conduct of the exam. But encouraging and strengthening each other prevailed and now we are all full-fledged doctors. We may have taken different paths now but I don't want to forget that aside from my family, it was them who kept me sane during that very stressful season.

November 2022 - became a licensed physician still during the pandemic; took my oath, and was accepted for my first job as a physician

My thoughts: Until now, I feel like that chapter of my life has not formally closed yet, having failed to experience a face to face graduation and a proper oath taking (the internet signal was very bad at the end of the organizers so we were clueless about what was happening...haha). It felt like 'it just passed', rather than 'I finished!'; but I also understand the adjustments we had to make given the pandemic. So this is just me trying to deal with my unsettled feelings about it..haha

December 2022 - formally started working as a research trial physician. I'm still with the team at present, while also doing some QCProtektodo volunteer work on my free days. I am grateful for all that I've learned, the people I've met and worked with, and the opportunity to be productive in this season of rest and discernment on the next path to take, particularly which residency training to pursue. A memorable period when I really felt God's grace strengthening and protecting me daily was during the Omicron surge in January 2022. Many staff got sick and had to go on quarantine so we had to make up for their share in the work. Almost all the patients I've been in close contact with and recommended for swabbing turned out to be positive, but I didn't get it. I was tired, yes, but I told God I'd rather be working more, than resting at home because of COVID..huhu..Thank you Lord for the sustenance and extra layer of protection then and now. I just got my 2nd booster last Friday (perks of being a QCProtektodo volunteer) and I am grateful for your favor each day.

Ministry-wise, I have also been part our church's medical ministry and was able to join the team in a medical mission in Bulacan last April. Thank you Lord for the opportunity to share this gift/calling you have given me to be of service to others, and hopefully lead them to knowing You as well as Lord and Savior. Monday nights are for the weekly Doctors in Touch prayer meeting and I have also been learning much from them in the area of prayer. Aside from the girls I lead in our small group, I am also grateful for the opportunity to lead 2 The Significant Woman groups - one with my medschool friends and another with good friends from church, with the encouragement from Doc/Tita Elfie. She prayed for me when she challenged me to start a new TSW group and instead of just one, I now have two..haha.. I am also grateful for her and Doc Lem for being my first bosses as a medical doctor. They exhibit servant leadership at work and I admire Doc Elfie's meticulousness in assessing patients. I have also been learning from her management decisions which I am able to apply in my stint as a volunteer doctor at a nearby health center. When they first asked me to see patients for consult even though it was not part of our job description as vaccine screeners, I said yes out of compassion and andun na din naman ako. But as always, I can never outgive God. I can say that I am gaining more from the experience because not only am I able to practice my skill and put my knowledge to good use, but the experience has also been instrumental in helping me narrow my choices for residency training:)

But aside from all the career upates, there have also been recent developments in another aspect of my life...haha...will keep that in a separate draft for now until I'm ready to share..haha..in case anyone accidentally reaches this blog.

This is just me wanting to have something to look back to months and years from now to remind me of your faithfulness in my life Lord. I'm sorry if I did not take the surprises well initially..haha..I hope I'm doing better now. But in all things, just help me to walk your path, and lead me back when I lose my way. You are my anchor and my personal life mission remains - for my life to be a living worship to your name...in all things! 

P.S. I still haven't scheduled our date at the Prayer Mountain. One of these days I'll just do it. I'm sorry if I've been distracted as well. Help me clear my mind if I must Lord..haha..May I never be too busy to spend undistracted time with you:)

My Australian Adventure

March 2020 is electives month and I had the wonderful privilege to take up Renal Medicine under UNSW Prince of Wales Clinical School. Who would have thought?..haha. Yet, nothing is impossible in the Lord:) This is also a welcome retreat from our very tiring clerkship rotation (still part of it, but one I was looking forward to..haha), but one that is full of learning, so it's win-win for me.

When I began writing this, I had already been living in Sydney for 2 weeks and was halfway through the month-long elective. My thoughts then were...

        The COVID-19 situation is making things complicated, and I don't know what will happen next week. Back home in the Philippines, community quarantine and curfews have already been implemented in Metro Manila. But I'm taking it one day at a time, grateful for each morning I get to wake up, assured of God's favor and protection. If I may be honest, I'm also a bit worried, but I thank the Lord for whispering peace to my heart each time I feel anxious. It doesn't mean I have the license to be careless though, He made me enter medicine after all for a purpose, so I make sure to practice frequent hand hygiene and I try to stay away from very crowded places.

My Airbnb host says I shouldn't let the virus stop me from making the most of my trip. But I'd rather be careful and come back another time, than enjoy now and expose myself, potentially exposing the people I deal with as well, including my family when I return to the Philippines. But it doesn't mean I haven't been enjoying my stay..haha..Australia is very beautiful (even the cemetery looked breathtaking to me..haha) and I'm very grateful to be here, not just for the learning, but also for the experience.  

This is also my first trip abroad alone, one month long at that, so it was very daunting at first and I got homesick during the first few days I was here. But I adjusted soon enough and I want to keep a record of my experiences as detailed as I can so I can always go back to this amazing experience:)

Day 1
I arrived safely (thank you Lord!) with only one casualty. I lost one bluetooth earphone because it fell and I could no longer find it on the floor inside the plane..huhu..luckily I still have one.
I immediately got a SIM for Wifi and an Opal card.
I thank the Lord for Loi and Kelvin, who fetched me from the airport and treated me to lunch.
Once I got settled in my booked Airbnb, I went to the grocery to get some supplies, then slept early.

It was an 8 hour travel..and I got a window seat:)

First meal with Loi and Kelvin...fresh from the flight! (in all haggardness..hehe)

I wasn't able to take pictures of my room but it was very clean and organized, and Hanny and her husband were very kind hosts. I made good use of the kitchen, and I was also provided a space for my food supplies in the cabinet and in the refrigerator. Lodging is a bit expensive in Australia but Hanny's place is less pricey compared with the others - https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/23717562?s=67&sharer_id=48720447&unique_share_id=7e19ad62-4798-44bd-a80d-3c6dd2f771d7

The neighborhood in Eastlakes was also very apt for me. All the essentials were within walking distance from our place (grocery, pharmacy, bakery, even restaurants and cafes) and I can always spend some time at the Eastlakes Reserve if if didn't feel like going home yet. 

I pass by the park (Eastlakes Reserve) on my way to and from the bus stop daily 

luto-luto din

Day 2 - First Day
I woke up early, had breakfast then prepared to go early.
I arrived before 8am, and took my time looking for the building I was supposed to go to..haha
Today's a very tiring day because aside from joining the rounds, I had to go back and forth from the hospital to the university (a bit far) in heels
Hospital Activities:
-Toured around the renal units
-Joined the doctors' rounds
-Attended the weekly teaching conference (Topic: Advanced Care Planning for CKD patients)
-Attended the Radiology Conference which I appreciated and which I hope we could also have at home

I met Gibson, Zhi and Phoebe (medical students from UNSW); Julian (intern); and Daniel (registrar). I'll be joining the general nephrology team for 2 weeks, then I'll transfer to the transplant team for the final 2 weeks.

Mishaps for the day:
- I left my glasses at The Nucleus. I left it at the table where I put it down as I was having my ID picture taken..I didn't realize it until the staff sent me an email to inform me. I got it back thank you Lord
-I lost my OPAL card..I don't know how..but because Loi told me to register it online I was able to block it and transfer all the balance to my new card..huhu..

Thank you Lord for always having my back.

I was only able to sustain logging every activity for 2 days..haha. As the days went by, I was somehow able to develop a routine:
-Wake up at 5:30am and thank God for another day (2:30am Manila time)
- Take a bath
- Have breakfast
- Walk for 10 minutes to the bus stop and try to catch Bus 357 scheduled at around 7:40am
- Arrive at the POW hospital at around 8am
- Do some reading at the hospital canteen before I go to the ward or the clinic at around 8:30am
- Go around and be a tourist if we were sent home early
- Drop by the grocery near my place before going home to check for sale on chocolates..haha

mandatory early morning selfie at the hospital for my family (part of daily updates..hehe)

       Depending on the activities scheduled for the day, I would usually leave the hospital at 3 or 4pm except on days with conferences (usually Mondays) and scheduled lectures later in the afternoon. I enjoyed the rounds and the clinics, and learned a lot from them. I especially had a great time each time I joined Dr. Fernando in the clinics. She was patient in teaching but she also challenged me with her questions and helped with my physical examination skills as well. I got to see classic signs in patients with rare diseases, that I have only seen in pictures and books. The patients were also very kind in allowing us to sit in, observe, and apply our examination skills. Their participation made a huge difference; because unlike some of the patients I had back home who weren't very keen in allowing us to attend to them because they felt that we were practicing on them, the patients that I have encountered in the wards and in the clinics thought that we have to start somewhere to become good doctors in the future, so they offered their full participation. Through my exposure, I developed a stronger appreciation of renal medicine, and healthcare in general, as I saw the impact it had to people because it was made accessible. I saw long-time lupus patients who did not look like they had it because they were managed well. I also encountered patients with Wegener's granulomatosis, sarcoidosis, and atypical HUS who developed renal complications, on top of the other more common causes such as Hypertension and Diabetes Mellitus. There were a lot of AKI cases in the wards, patients who have undergone multiple kidney transplants, and there were also patients who refused renal replacement therapy and were given best supportive care. As with all healthcare systems, there are challenges in diagnosis and management, but since they have less limitations on tests (there were many tests that I heard for the first time..haha) and resources, the only undiagnosed cases are really the challenging ones.

Also from my experience, I realized that I really have so much to work on in terms of my knowledge and physical examination skills. I will never forget that life lesson from Dr. Fernando...she said that just because we come from a developing country doesn't mean that we should limit our knowledge on the cases that we usually see. We should still know everything, so that wherever we go, we will not have a hard time adjusting. She also emphasized that a good doctor should see, note and observe things that other people usually miss. Mastery comes with practice, but not just mere practice. I should always strive to be best at what I do if I want to be a good doctor in the future. I also appreciated the conferences and the lectures for students, as well as the coordination with the multidisciplinary health care team. Doctors cared about not only the physical health of the patient, but also considered how they will fare at home, referring them to the social worker, OT or PT as needed.

I also got to see snippets of how medical education and training  in Australia are being done. We no longer had the chance to switch teams, but I learned a lot from joining Daniel and Julian, and appreciated the tutorials from Victoria (intern). We also had the chance to observe Nas (registrar) perform renal biopsy at bedside; and all the consultants were very kind and accommodating of this foreign medical student from the Philippines on electives...hehe. I got close to Zhi, a Malaysian UNSW medical student who somehow took me under her wing and toured me around the uni, allowed me to tag along and join their lectures. Their setup is very different with ours, and matches the big difference in our healthcare systems. I hope to go back for training and fellowship in the future, as the Lord wills it.

a small portion of UNSW..haha

POW Clinical School - where med students can study, eat, and access the library

As for my day to day challenge of living well in a far place alone, eventually I had less mishaps..haha..and also became better in figuring out Google maps for directions for public transport.  I truly felt the Lord's hand protecting me and saving me from the consequences of my mistakes..haha. There was one time that I did not realize that I dropped my wallet because I was so amazed of the sea creatures I saw up close at the Sea Life Aquarium, but praise God for the kind lady who called my attention..haha. I also had a problem with my GERD probably because of too much coffee (their flat white is the best!), and also because I wasn't conscious about eating proper meals on time in the first week, and He saved me by leading me to our local pharmacy (very near my place) that sold not only PPIs but also my trusted Bragg apple cider vinegar. It also wasn't all study as I got the chance to tour around the usual spots, museums, malls and markets. I even did the Coogee to Bondi walk straight from morning rounds at the hospital when we were sent home early..hehe. I also went to Taronga Zoo in office attire, in heels..haha. I preferred visiting tourist spots on weekdays, to also lessen exposure with many people, so I tried to squeeze in random visits whenever we had free time at the hospital.

when I was still figuring out how to take a selfie..hehe

About the food, the coffee, cakes and fresh fruits were my favorites! I enjoyed the steak, fish and chips and avocado toast, but eventually missed the Asian cuisines..haha. I visited the usual tourist spots and eventually learned how to take a selfie (was so poor at it at first..huhu), but my most visited place of all time would have to be Woolworths..haha. It was a short walk from where I stayed, and I practically went there everyday. On my 3rd week people started hoarding essentials because of the COVID-19 situation, but I kept coming for the chocolates...haha. I went frequently to check whether the chocolates and snacks I intended to buy were on sale and I got the best deals!!!! I also did some shopping for my sisters and myself at DFO :)

Daily grocery visit..hehe

It was truly an experience of a lifetime. It also was a test of faith because I was still there when they declared that the entire Luzon will be under enhanced community quarantine. My original flight schedule was canceled. It got rescheduled twice but all those also got cancelled. My family was worried about me as well and I thank the Lord for the wisdom and provision of resources to book the last flight home from Sydney to Manila on March 24th. I also praise him for His favor, and for allowing me to settle my requirements, with all of my supervisors expressing support and understanding of the situation. I was still able to participate in the remaining lectures via online access. My original flight booking is still for refund, but what's important is I got home safely. I spent a loooot for excess baggage, because they suddenly decided to weigh the carry on luggage, but it still won't compare to the blessing of being able to catch the last flight. I am grateful for my family especially Ate who arranged the flight for me, my classmates and friends for their prayers, and also for Ate Mary who fetched me from the airport and brought me home. I remember how much I cried that day when all was settled, overwhelmed with the experience of God's sovereignty, His control of the situation, and His love for me :)

Excited to go home! (was there 2 hours before the airport opened..haha)

I remember the flight back and I wasn't worried at all. I was careful - I kept my mask on despite the discomfort it placed on my breathing and I also performed hand hygiene frequently, but all in all I was just so grateful to be on my way home :) The amenities and service of PAL certainly helped me relax as well...so sige na nga keri na yung excess baggage fee, makauwi lang..haha..I missed my family so much and although I enjoyed the sights and all the new experiences I had, I always thought about how it would have been if I was there with them. When I arrived home, I did self-quarantine for 2 weeks just to be sure, and nowadays I'm the designated errand girl for groceries and supplies, which I am happy to do.

one of the events I physically missed - Alfie's birthday!

Thank you Lord for this experience! Thank you as well for my benefactors from the Alumni Foundation who supported this medical student's dream. I never thought it would be possible, but You provided the resources through people I do not know personally, but who believed and supported my desire to see more and maximize my elective learning experience. It made me develop a greater understanding and appreciation of Renal Medicine. I still don't know if this is the path for me because nothing is really certain, but I hope to bring with me everything I've learned as I press on towards becoming the best doctor I can be, all for your glory!

Thank you Lord! You are indeed the giver of perfect gifts! I don't deserve all these but knowing how much you love me, makes me brave to ask for these amazing blessings, trusting that you have the best in store for me, beyond what I could ever ask or imagine:)

Essay: Why Is the Bible Relevant Today?

I am currently in the process of tidying up, and I'm torn between throwing and keeping this certificate...

 ...I decided to keep an electronic copy instead (I'm so bright!..haha) and keep a copy of the winning essay as well. I was first out of 3 contestants, and the oldest as well..haha. Our church organized the essay writing contest as part of the Bible Month Celebration last January and I participated because I was afraid nobody would join and I wanted to honor our church's efforts. I guess I missed writing as well so it was a good excuse to go back despite being busy in school.

Honestly, I did not think I would win, because although I would meet the criteria on organization, grammar, etc.; content-wise, I thought my essay was too personal, and intentionally so, because I wrote it just one random morning as part of my quiet time when my morning classes were canceled. Since my intention was to have an entry, I did not want to stress so much over the essay, as I have in past contests..hehe; else, I won't be able to come up with an entry at all. So I revised the guide question a bit and made it into Why is the Bible Relevant To Me? And winning was an unexpected sweet bonus because it came with a cash prize (yey!), although I felt bad a bit when I learned that I competed against high school students. I initially thought that it wasn't fair because I had the advantage, but that's my pride talking so sorry Lord and thank you na lang po!

Enough with the backstory, here's my essay - a reminder for me that I'm always a winner in the Lord when I write from my heart:)

WHY IS THE BIBLE RELEVANT TODAY?

Not all people have had the blessing of being exposed to the Bible at a young age, and as I reflect on it now, I cannot imagine how I would have turned out as a human being, a citizen, a daughter, sister, friend, student, and the many other things I am now to others, if I did not have the wonderful privilege of knowing and learning from the Bible.

As a child, I looked at it as a wealth of stories with lessons on strength, bravery, obedience, love, patience, kindness, generosity, trust and many others. My parents and my teachers on the other hand, made good use of my delight in those stories to instill those virtues in me and introduce me to the greatest hero, Jesus Christ. It was not until I approached my late school age and teenage years that I learned of the foreign comic book superheroes that we patronize in the movies today; but as for the stories of Noah’s ark, Queen Esther, Daniel in the lion’s den, Moses and the parting of the Red Sea, I knew them by heart; and at a time when I was still sheltered from real life’s challenges, they were among my first models of faith and trust in the Lord. 

In my teenage years, when my doubts and insecurities were at their peak, the Bible became a source of wisdom and comfort. I remember the many nights that I felt down and alone as I experienced the world for the first time without the security of home. I would open my Bible crying not knowing what to do, and I would finish reading crying still, but this time, with a sense of strength and hope, overwhelmed with the truth that the Lord is always with me, that He loves me, and that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Living alone in college was one of the most difficult times of my life, especially with the death of our mother, but it was also the time that I learned to really seek the Lord in prayer and meditation of His Word. As I sought Him, the Lord used that time in return to instruct me, mold me, and increase my knowledge of Him through our personal time together while studying his Word, as part of a church with teaching and sermons anchored on the Bible, and as part of a small group sharing our insights and encouraging one another through the truths we learn from the Bible.  

After college, the responsibilities were greater, the problems were more challenging, and the decisions I had to make became more difficult. The Bible remained for me, as a source of strength, wisdom, comfort and guidance, but at a level that matched my needs. For while it does not change its contents, and although I have read it from cover to cover, it always speaks to me in a new way. Or in other times, it speaks to me in the same way, but in my frailty the Lord knew that I needed to be reminded, and there He was, patiently teaching me with the same chapters and verses, and honoring my heart’s prayer to become a better child and servant of His each day. In the same way that I loved the Lord more as I knew more of Him, I needed the Bible more as I learned more of it – not just holding on to His truths for the big decisions, challenges and milestones; but more so for the daily character-building and seemingly small moments of instruction, when He was actually preparing me to shape up when the big moments come along.  

The Bible, God’s Word, is indeed relevant today as it was to me in the past and in the days to come. Its message transcends time, culture, language, changing needs and individual differences; just as God’s love is for all, breaking through all barriers, even our sin. I praise God for the freedom and privilege to experience the transforming power of His Word, and the opportunity to share it to others, that they may also know of Jesus Christ and His life-changing gift, just as it continually changes mine. 

Operation Samaria 2017

The first few weeks of my vacation were certainly well-spent as I just recently got back from Operation Samaria, a 2-week short term mission trip which served a community in Palawan this year. Because of the recent terrorist attacks and in the interest of safety of the missionaries serving the community, I will not be revealing the specific place and tribe that we served. Besides, I don't think I would be needing any reminder in the future because the experience was truly unforgettable, and I praise the Lord for the opportunity to serve them and learn so much from Him in such a short time.

I did not take much pictures so I'm waiting for the beautiful ones taken by Zeyn. Until then, I only have these:)

My view from the 'attic without walls' where I slept

Who needs filter for a sunset this beautiful? Thank you Lord!

we were requested to write our reflections and submit them to Medical Ambassadors Philippines and here's what I wrote...

Lessons From God: My OS 2017 Experience

Katrina A. Paglicawan

They say learning is a journey that takes time, and that is usually true for me. But there are also special moments, such as the recent two weeks, wherein God just allowed me to journey in faith and learn far more than what I have in the past months and years.

My Operation Samaria (OS 2017) experience started way before May 22^nd, and it was truly a big step of faith for me. I first heard about it thru Dr. Pete Obregon, one of my scholarship benefactors in medical school, and when he opened the opportunity for me to join, I thought it would be a meaningful way to give back and make good use of my skills as a nurse, and as a medical student. My only issue then was if it would coincide with our term break, and when that was covered, I immediately said yes. With the expenses also covered, I did what any millennial normally does when in need of information about anything – I searched the web for resources about OS 2017 and the community we were going to serve. That it was not only a medical mission but a true mission trip as well made me want to participate more as I have also been praying and looking for more ways to participate in the Great Commission, especially to unreached people groups (UPGs).

When I attended the first orientation, I learned that everyone who will be joining had joined similar previous endeavors and that because of the complexity of ministering to a Muslim community, the participants were gathered by invitation and the registration was not opened to all. It occurred to me that maybe I wasn’t supposed to be there, that they were probably worried about how I would fare and contribute, but as I prayed and reflected on how I got there, I knew it was the Lord’s hand at work. It was very much like how I got into medical school, without any plans and not knowing which step to take next; but it was also how I got to experience how the Lord guides, directs, and rewards His children as they trust and obey Him.

The location of ________ Island in Palawan however, was a cause of concern to my family. The recent news about rebel group attacks were alarming for them, and that they did not have any way to reach me while I was in the area was not very helpful. It will also be the first time that they will not be aware of my whereabouts for such a long time. I worried not for myself, because I was so sure that the Lord made the way for me and that He would also protect me and the team, but I was concerned about how they felt and I did not want to go against their will. Thankfully, as we all prayed, the Lord calmed their fears and off I went with their blessing. I also submitted their names as my prayer partners so that instead of worrying, they could be with me spiritually in prayer.

For my part, I tried to prepare as best as I could not only spiritually but in all aspects, attending all the orientations, organizing the things I needed personally and for the work I was assigned to do, and getting as much information as possible for my first airplane ride. I was determined not to be a liability in any way, but on our first night in _________, I immediately realized that I had nowhere to sleep on except for my malong. It was also the day I learned what a hammock was (please don’t judge me..haha). The Lord knew me so well. He knew it was not in my personality to speak up and ask for help especially on our first day; but suddenly there was Ate Ira asking me where I would be sleeping, and when I answered that I had my malong even without indicating that I needed help with anything, she immediately lent me their sleeping bag. It was my first lesson on gracious acceptance of help and favor, to remind me that I was part of a team – a helpful and caring team, and it made me all the more determined to offer whatever help I could. I learned a lot from each one of them as we went through big and small moments of fun, victories, difficulties, and disappointments, and they’re certainly one of the highlights of my OS 2017 experience.

But the Lord had many other lessons in store for me. I was on a mission to offer whatever I could for Him, and He was on a counter-mission to remind me that I could never outgive him. As we went to work, day by day we experienced more of God’s love, His grace, guidance and provision, as well as His power especially with the prayers of the people who went with us spiritually. He provided resources, led us to people who assisted us graciously, and went before us, enabling us to focus on giving our best for His glory. The physical strength for the daily walks, especially with our bags, could only be from the Lord. And as we sought Him in every step we took, He came through for us, calming our fears about how we should approach introducing the Gospel to the _______ people, and just follow His leading.

I was assigned to take vital signs with Nikka during the medical missions, and I thank the Lord that I was also able to practice my communication skills and some history taking skills, both with the children and adults. For the teachings, I was assigned with Nhickel who was a true teacher. I, on the other hand, was doubtful that I had enough creativity and energy in me to be appealing to the kids. But the Lord rebuked me for my unfounded worries by surprising me with the children’s open acceptance, respect, and gratefulness for everything we offered. Their response to our stories and teachings pointing them to Tuhan (God) and Isa Al Masih (Jesus Christ) was a sweet reminder of childlike faith. The students gave us hope, and they were also a testament to the fruit of Kuya Jun and Ate Lai’s missionary work in ___________.

Meeting Kuya Jun and Ate Lai’s family and learning about their experiences including their struggles, made me learn beyond the pastor’s sermon in the podium, the great importance of praying, supporting, and ministering to missionaries, by visiting them and assisting them, or by simply checking on them. I thank the Lord for workers such as them, who labor in making Him known where many people refuse to go. I am also grateful to the Lord that He has allowed me to participate in missions by giving and praying, but I also knew that I could do more especially in the area of caring for them.

Of all the times spent in the area however, the quiet mornings with the Lord as most precious to me. Without the distraction of internet and other modes of entertainment, I had much time to focus on listening to God, and it was in those mornings that He spoke to me and taught me. As I gave and offered what I have also received from the Lord, He filled my heart into overflow that I could only cry in awe of the beauty of what He has been, and is continually doing in my life. It was both a humbling and rewarding experience, even now I have difficulty finding the right words for a fitting concrete description. In many of those mornings I could only find myself in tears, just listening to the Lord, with a wider and deeper realization of what I possess in Christ. Seeing and serving the _______ tribe led me to a journey to knowing more about the heart of God, and the more I knew, the more I grasped how wide, how long, how deep, and how amazing is His love for me. I could only respond in thanksgiving for how He has been blessing me, allowing me to know Him deeply and personally. And with it came the compassion for the people who did not have the opportunity to know Him as I do. And as I praised Him, He also put my life’s direction into perspective. I have always known that He made a way for me to study medicine to give Him glory, and I know in my heart that it is not just to heal those who are physically sick. I know the Lord has big plans for me and while I still do not know much as of the moment, I know that in one way or another, reaching UPGs is part of it.

All in all, I believe I’ve become a better person and servant of the Lord. Dr. Obregon told me that joining Operation Samaria would be a life changing experience for me, and now I know he wasn’t exaggerating. I hope to participate in future medical mission trips, and I’m now more inspired to keep doing my best in my studies after a catching a glimpse of the big picture where this blessing of becoming a future doctor fits. All glory, honor, praise, and thanksgiving be to our God alone!

Beauty Queen for a Day

And it's a wrap!

After a month of doll-ups, practices, preparations, and first-times, we're finally done with the most dreaded awaited event of the Nursing Department Month Celebration...the Mr. and Ms. Nursing 2014! And the surprise of the century is......I emerged victorious as Ms. Nursing 1st Runner Up!..hahaha

That makes October 24 as my official Beauty Queen Day...wahaha...I never thought this possible in my entiiiiiire life. When I was forced chosen to represent the Nursing Services Office, my thoughts were..."I thought I would pass through life without this kind of experience"...hehe..not that I consider it as a waste of time because it's actually the other way around- I consider myself unworthy and it was definitely a BIG Challenge for me to even try to fit into the shoes of a pageant contestant, least of all a beauty queen, no matter how puchu puchu the pageant may be..haha..But thank you Lord for pulling me through! My prayer then was to let His light and glory shine through me and I hope I was able to do just that as I gave it my best shot. To calm my nerves I kept on singing Like an Incense/Sometimes By Step (Hillsong) in my head, especially the following lines

I will seek you in the morning,

And I will learn to walk in Your ways

And step by step You'll lead me

And I will follow you all of my days

...I found it very fitting because the 'walking' really was most difficult for me..haha

I already posted my thank you speech in Facebook because even though it's not comfortable for me to do so, I felt that I owe it to all the people who helped me, supported me, and made my beauty queen stint possible. 

So before I store all that day's memories deep in the grave, here are snapshots of my ONCE-in-a-lifetime-experience. To God be the glory!

P.S. I'm currently nursing a long-overdue cold. Thank you Lord for postponing it and for enabling me still to sing my heart out this morning as we celebrated Fairview Christian Fellowship's 33rd Anniversary! Thank you for your faithfulness and immense goodness that never falters and waivers! We are excited to be used by you in expanding your kingdom and bringing the church to greater heights!

I also praise You for postponing our Research Colloquium at graduate school supposedly scheduled last Oct. 25...that was personally the best prize and best miracle of all!:) Now I'm very excited for All Saint's Day vacation,  notwithstanding that it shall be a very short one...but thank you for opportunities to rest and be with family! I love you Lord!

Now..back to the snapshots..

The Queen and the Top 5 Candidates

With my partner-in-crime, Jed (I hope I don't look like an Ate here..haha)

On another angle

Solo

closer...

With my Boss, Challenger, Trainor, Motivator - Dr. Nerissa Gerial:)

The Painter/Magician and the Canvass

With PJ...thank you so much for the crash course on rampage!

With Maam Eifel- our choreographer, motivator because we so lacked motivation..haha

My favorite part- my hair..haha

Ms. Nursing

October is my new ghost month this year. The past days have truly been very FULL and stressful for me and at this point I have a lot of things running in my mind, I can hardly decide which one should I do first. Having said that, the next question I've been asking myself is, why do I still have time to write? Well this day's stressors have been too much for me to bear and this is one of the few moments that I apply the writing for sanity philosophy.

It is Nursing Department Month Celebration in our institution and aside from the usual Exhibit-CQI-Research responsibilities that make my October full, it became even fuller with my participation in the Mr. & Ms. Nursing. I was chosen forced, arm twisted to join the said pageant and represent our section. It was something I've been dreading since my transfer to the office and my fears were given life this year.

One might say that I am overreacting but here are some interesting facts about me: (1) I've never joined a pageant before; (2) I'm not the typical chick- my innate kaartehan only translates to the way I talk sometimes but judging by society's standards, I appear more as 'astig' rather than feminine; (3) I was a lola trapped in a little girl's body and now, I'm still a lola trapped in a 25-year old's body; I enjoy watching beauty pageants but I never saw myself joining one, even a puchu-puchu one, because I'm not so much into appearing beautiful and sexy then and now; (4) I hardly know how to apply decent makeup and my only makeup stash include blush-on, eyeliner, BB cream, and foundation- most of which I won from a blog giveaway; (5) I do not invest in my personal appearance that much; (6) I have poor posture (kyphotic); (7) and it really isn't just my comfort zone- I've only joined quiz bees and essay writing contests in the past...you get the point...I'm a nerd without the glasses.

I particularly do not like being in the limelight because of my appearance, lest be judged for the way I dress, walk and present myself. And that's what happened this afternoon during the Pre-pageant where all the candidates had to present their talents with their partners.

It was an entirely novel experience for me; one I would never forget, hopefully for all good reasons until the pageant on the 24th. To win would be a miracle only God can do but I'm still gonna do my best because I want to glorify God even with this experience, no matter how reluctant I am. I feel that I am being taught to obey, and true enough, I've already had a lot of lessons learned in the process.

I've been putting some effort to look good these days for the sake of the events but I hope to still be motivated to make myself presentable even after the pageant...especially now that I've learned how to apply makeup on my eyebrows..haha..I've also been training to answer compliments with a gracious 'Thank You!', instead of my usual bungisngis and denial.

I still receive negative comments about my posture and some physical features which I can no longer improve at the moment, but I know they were given out of concern. I take their points to mind but if I would not be able to do it the way they would want me to during the actual pageant, I'm sorry... but at the same time I promise that to the best of my memory and my ability, I would conquer my habits and give up my comfortable-I-don't-care-much-about-how-I-look demeanor for a day.

It won't be effective if I would do it for myself because I hate competitions in general, but I am motivated to do it for my NSO family and my relatives, if only to show that I value the support they've been giving me. An unfortunate incident happened as Carol was curling my hair this afternoon but I intend to shoulder all the expenses associated with the repair, because while it was lack of judgment on her part, it would not have happened if she had not been assisting me with the preparations. Lord I pray that you would provide me the resources to shoulder everything, and may you also bless Carol for all the voluntary help she has been giving me.

I am already counting the days until the end of the pageant. I still do not have a makeup artist but I am confident that everything will be ok. Knowing that God placed me here for a reason, I am certain that He will grant me the grace to fulfill my mission excellently and responsibly.

There, I'm feeling better now. Thank you Lord for saving me during the talent presentation awhile ago! You gave me more than I asked for and I hope I made you smile as I gave it my best shot:) Maam says it's still lacking in many parts but knowing that I did my best, Micah may be right...baka hindi na ako yun.  

Next week will be our last hurrah and I'm more than excited for October to end! But until then, and always...I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! (Phil 4:13)

P.S. Here's my makeup transformation for the day (dolled up on the left and freshness on the right, immediately after washing my face)...I don't have pictures of the event so here's the only one I got at home:)

RIP Pampols

Papa informed us that Pampols, our dog of many years, died already last September 14, 2014.

Pampols is officially our longest living dog and I have an equal share of fond and irritating memories of him.

He was given to us as a puppy. He peed the first time he came to our house. Unlike other aspins, he is very picky when it comes to food choices. Among all the dogs in our compound, he'll surely be the first one to bark at a newcomer, but he'll also be the first one to run in fear. He doesn't like to be put on leash because he's used to running around freely. When we had to tie him (compound rules), he went on hunger strike.

Pampols has a love-hate relationship with Papa. He is most loyal and he would consistently follow Papa around. Papa even said the weirdest thing one time- that Mama's spirit somehow lives in Pampols..haha..it isn't an appropriate description but it says so much about Pampol's loyalty. He does the same to us and I remember we were on our way to the market and he was following us then. He cried when I was instructing him to go back and it was only when I allowed him by saying 'Sige na, sige na' that he stopped crying.

I've always said that Alfie totally changed my relationship with dogs; but it was because of Pampols that I started to like them. I've had the pain and pleasure of bathing him and it was also with Pampols that I made my first attempt on administering meds to a dog via injection. It's because of that experience with him that I am somehow confident to administer Alfie his injections once a month.

Pampols is also one of the sweetest dogs I know. He does not belong to the naturally 'malambing' breed but he would always go to us and jump to us when he would see us. Also, unlike other aspins, he's a very picky eater. He has black and brown hair but he wouldn't eat any black-colored food such as those with squid ink. He has many other idiosyncrasies that make him the dog we loved and he will always have a place in our hearts.

Thank you Pampols for teaching us how to care for another living being and how to be good masters. We will always remember you...I can almost imagine how difficult it was for you during your final days but I am better now, knowing that you are in a much better place.

I wonder if souls of animals go to heaven too. If yes, I look forward to seeing you welcome us many many years from now I hope. Again, thank you Pampols!

Research x 1

Praise God!

Today, December 11, 2013, is a special day as it marks my first try as a legit 'researcher'...haha..I joined the Annual Research Forum in our hospital and the entire process- from having the proposal approved, doing the data gathering, to submitting the paper and waiting for the results, was quite a stress, and if not for God's peace that transcends all understanding, ewan ko na lang. Now that I think about it, this is probably one of the reasons why I missed my period last November, and now that the forum's done, I'm praying that I could get back to my regular cycle again.

But back to the forum, I'm very very happy because I won! I joined the Prospective category and out of 7 papers, I was 2nd place! Yey! But it isn't all me because I got a lot of help....on second thought, it's entirely not me, it's all God, who gave me the strength, the passion, the wisdom, the perseverance and many other things I didn't have, plus the big bonus of having a bunch of people who lent a hand in the different phases of this tedious journey.

All I can say is, research is not for the weak-hearted. Most things are difficult to begin or end, but this one's difficult all throughout. But it's also a very rewarding experience, and I'm actually looking forward to doing it again soon, while looking for ways on how I could share the results of my study to other nurses or healthcare institutions as well.

But the reason I'm recording it here now is to remind myself and to let others know that throughout this entire journey, God has been very good to me, and I could no longer keep count of how many times I talked to Him, to Jesus and the Holy Spirit to help me deal with the raging thoughts and feelings inside me. This annual forum and my research has been on our list of prayer items for months now, not just in our weekly family prayer but also in my two cell groups so quota talaga kami sa pray unceasingly...haha.

I also had a lot of challenges but God has proven himself greater than any of them. There were weeks when I felt that he was teasing me, when I would be scheduled to lead worship in church before my big deadlines. I also admit that I was afraid when I learned that there were 7 of us who submitted papers under the prospective category knowing that they were all doctors and I was the only nurse. But I was comforted by the belief that God is great, and the more contenders, the more opportunity for Him to be glorified if I win.

But in all those times that I prayed or asked people to pray, I always told God that while I would probably be a bit sad, I wouldn't love him any less if he did not give me what I wanted because I know that His will is best. Pero buti na lang my desires are in line with his will, and although I admit and am sorry that I still worried a lot (being the melancholic that I am), I now realize that with the obstacles came opportunities for God to display his power...and once I tell this news as a testimony, he will be glorified even more because a lot of people prayed with me, so it's a collectively answered prayer for all of us!:)

Another amazing thing that happened this morning by the way was I was able to deliver the presentation excellently. Knowing myself, that is indeed the power of the Holy Spirit working in me. Not once did I buckle, and I was also able to answer all the questions from the judges. As I was speaking, even I was amazed at how God gives wisdom, speaking abilities, and many other usually-not-present-traits, to those who would earnestly ask. I think faster than I speak or write, and even as I type right now, the words in my head have the tendency to jumble such that I mix up the sequence of the statements, with my most recent thought overtaking what I was preparing to write.So what happened this morning, it was a miracle, and I really am in awe.

What I feel right now is depicted in the lines of the song The More I Seek You by Kari Jobe which says:

The more I seek you

The more I find you

The more I find you

The more I love you

...

This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand

I melt in your peace

It's overwhelming

You are amazing God! Thank you for never giving up on healing my worrisome heart and for patiently dealing with my flaws so that each day, I could become more and more like your faithful daughter. Thank you for always pushing my fears away with your love, and for assuring me with your multitude of promises and your wonderful surprises/miracles each day! I love you!

P.S. I hope to update this post soon and add some pictures once I've grabbed them from Maam Claud!

Happy 24th!

Today started with a prayer of thanksgiving to God for the new year He has given me...

Just a few hours later, I was already frustrated and was asking God to provide for me a jeep with a vacant seat which He did although medyo badtrip yung driver...

I thought it wasn't a good start of any day especially my birthday, but in the hospital I was greeted warmly by dear co-workers who all wished me well:)...

The day passed by like any work day...

I decided to go with Maam Claud and have dinner with her afterwards...

I got many many birthday greetings from people dear to me:)...

I just got a text requesting for me to lead worship on Sunday...

I tried to beg off because a text message on a Monday night is short notice enough for me...haha

But Lord I'll follow you...

You've given me so much and this is just a small responsibility you're asking from me compared to what You have done and are continuously doing for me...everyday and for eternity:)

So I'll make another wish, please help me come up with a line-up fast..haha..

I praise you Lord and I love you!

Happy Birthday to me! 

 

New ID, New Role

I finally got my ID today!; hence, the picture...haha. It's supposed to be the star, but my pacute face seemingly but unintentionally managed to outshine my brand new ID...mwahaha.

I did promise that I would write about my promotion once it became final. I kept on delaying it for weeks but when I got my ID this afternoon, I felt so legit and I figured this would be the perfect and probably my last chance to write about it, else it'll just be among the many milestones and events I failed to document because of my laziness.

I've already gushed about it but I say it again- this promotion is really BIG DEAL for me. My faith goal for this year is to have my foundations set and God has already answered my prayer work-wise by making me a permanent employee of our venerable institution! To be promoted after a year would probably seem lame in an outsider's point of view, but for us nurses and for me most especially, It's a Miracle!...haha. It's not that I'm far from being qualified because I am, but I'm also only one out of the hundreds who are also qualified, with some surely more qualified than I am if years of service would be a top criterion. The delay in the promotion is simply a reality that we had to accept; but as in all waiting periods, whether it's waiting for God or for a mate (naks), one can choose to wait passively or actively. Syempre dun ako sa actively!:) I kept on praying until I was recommended and prayed even harder together with my family as I moved on to the exams, the interview, and finally, the appointment. I also continued to work hard and excellently, grabbing opportunities to aid my colleagues and share whatever I can contribute to our ward and to the department. I know of colleagues though, with similar and for some, even more exemplary work ethic. Why they do not get recommended early on by their head nurses is a mystery to me so I also thank the Lord for my head nurse who was so kind to recommend almost all of us in the ward. Another super thank you Lord for blessing the hands of those who held my paper and supported the recommendation!

And of course, as in all promotions, we are now entitled to benefits we only heard of before; and this is where my testimony on giving comes in. You see, my income is just enough for my self-imposed obligatory savings + expenses. Whenever I receive my salary, I set aside my tithes which is 10 percent foremost, then make do with whatever is left. I used to be so worried about my finances I didn't realize I wasn't trusting God fully to provide all our needs. So one day I made a run down of my expenses: insurance, grocery, market, water, electricity, internet, helper, etc. in my mind and just surrendered it all to God. On top of that, I have also committed to give a certain amount to our church for the missions and to Kuya Carlo, a CCC campus missionary in support of his ministry, in amounts higher that what I was giving last year. With all these responsibilities came a lot of what ifs. But God has provided me with his own versions of what ifs, with the biggest one saying- What if you'd press on in obedience to my call and allow me to work through you?

For me, the benefits that would come with the promotion along with the many other surprises I get here and there is God saying you can't outgive me. It's God telling me- Katy, you made those commitments in faith, now let me show you what I can do because you believed. And truly, we've never lacked anything. Although I had to borrow money from Ate recently to comply with all my requirements for the promotion and to update my licenses, with advance lunch treats included, I am confident that God will make a way for me so I can return the money asap. Also, I am in no way being rushed to pay so I can save up for it little by little without any pressure:)

And just when I thought that was it for the meantime, I was once again surprised with my reassignment from the ward as a staff nurse to the office as a research nurse. I've been there for more than 3 weeks now but still in the process of getting used to the whereabouts involved with the job. I have the nicest colleagues and I certainly have better working conditions. I don't get tired too much physically, but my brain's been getting a lot of work and there are a lot of times when I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. Truth be told, I feel like a novice all over again and I'm inwardly dreading the day when Mam Yet has to leave us for good. Thank God that this time, I know better than to worry. I have supportive heads and colleagues and I know that God has placed me here for a reason. So armed with every weapon I need from Him and drawing assurance from his unfailing love and grace, I'm gonna do my very best to grow where I am planted- giving my all to whatever's assigned to me; learning from my own experiences and others' teachings; sharing whatever talents I have; being a good subordinate, coworker and friend; and most of all, being a servant of Christ.

For the days and months to come, I know I'll be encountering a different set of challenges and changes. But thank you Lord that I can be secured in your unwavering love and grace that only increases with every problem I encounter. You are my refuge, my provider, my miracle worker and my friend; and in your name, I claim that I can do all things through Thee who gives me strength.:) 

Haircut for Free!

My sister Micah and I got a free haircut yesterday on one obvious condition:)

I've always sported short hair when I was young. I've never been one who keeps a comb or hairbrush in tow all the time so a short do fits me; but I've only tried a pixie cut once when I was in Grade 4. It was more forced actually because when Mama took me to the beauty parlor:D that afternoon, I had no idea I would go home looking like this...hahaha

Mama said I wasn't combing my hair so it was best to have my hair kept that short. It actually felt like a punishment- Dahil di ka marunong magsuklay, ganyan dapat ang buhok mo! My immature friends and neighbors made fun of it the moment they saw me and started calling me Kato (my nickname's Katy)...hahaha. I'm laughing at it now but I kept crying then with all their teasing so Mama never had it that way again. I don't know if she was trying to teach me a lesson but at 4th grade, it really just wasn't on top of my priorities..haha. It could be that she just thought the pixie cut was best. Ate Angel thought so too a few days ago so she offered to pay for my and Micah's haircut.

It was after highschool that I started to grow my hair, cutting it short every now and then but making sure that I can still tie it. Some people at the salon were looking at us yesterday, some even making comments about all the hair we were wasting; but I feel good:). I was still ambivalent yesterday but now I'm positive that I like my hair, not just because there's nothing I can do about it but because I really like it:) Thank you Lord for Ate's insistence, for this opportunity for change, and for hair that we can cut anyway we want and just grow back in a few months. I won't wait 14 years again 'til my next pixie cut, and I think I'd go even shorter next time:)

All-Saint's Day 2011

Finally, thank God for another opportunity to blog!

I've only been browsing other sites and reading other blogs these past weeks, wanting but not really having the strong urge to update my own. But that's not to say that my life has been lacking some action these past days because on the contrary, it's really a season of turning points for me so much so that I have become sick. Praise God that I'm feeling better now, and I praise Him more for the successes and overwhelming blessings He has flooded upon me once again.

So to start this catching up, here are photos of our very short 'long-weekend' vacation in La Union!

Through the years, All Saint's Day has become a special time for our family, commemorating first, Mama Susie, then Mama Josie's fruitful lives. They are always in our hearts and minds and we do visit them on other occasions, but we are joined by relatives and family friends in remembering them every 1st of November so it becomes a reunion of some sort for us. It's also Ate Angel and Micah's semestral break and it was good to come home and be with Papa at the province once again. I had a 5-day leave at the office, starting on October 31st but we had to go home on November 2nd already because of Micah and Ate's enrollment on the 3rd. So it was just a  total of 3 days for me including the 7 hour travel forth. It was very tiring for me, I must admit, because without Ate Kambal around, I had to do the cooking and some chores at home and we also tried to squeeze in as much activities as we can such as doing some groceries, going to the bank, the market, etc....haha...adult stuff should be banned on vacations, especially on SHORT vacations!

Thank God for some special moments- we ate out of course! (Ate Angel's treat) at the new Pancake House in San Fernando, we met up with childhood friends and neighbors, and our Tita and one of our cousins also came by our house before we went to visit Mama altogether.  

And as always, we did not return to Manila empty-handed. We had half a sack of rice and a box of banana plantains in tow together with other foods we could stock in our refrigerator...haha

I'm guessing that going home for vacation is bound to get harder and harder in the years to come. But family time is always worth the sacrifice so okaay lang kung pagod...haha
But I really hope to get a happy vacation next time around, because though it was certainly happy, I'm not sure if it was vacation:) Whatever it was, thank you Lord! I am grateful!