HS Grad Inspirational Message

Someone got invited and served as inspirational speaker/guest of honor during the Junior and Senior High School graduation of my alma mater in elementary...haha

I wrote my speech with much difficulty, because the event was a few days after the elections. How can I inspire others if I'm feeling discouraged myself? But God used that event to remind me of His promises and I can only attribute finishing the message in 3 hours to His divine intervention; so I'm saving a copy here. I drew inspiration from my own experiences and some principles from The Significant Woman course:)

To the school administrators, officers, teachers and staff, parents, and to the proud JUNIOR/SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL graduates, a pleasant good morning to all!

 

I can only imagine how happy you must be feeling to have a face-to-face graduation ceremony after years of not seeing your friends in person due to the restrictions imposed by the pandemic. I am a bit envious as I did not have this opportunity. I graduated, interned, took the board exam, passed and became a doctor all during the pandemic and kumbaga sa relationship, parang walang closure, so I am glad you get to have this experience, and I am even more privileged to be part of it. 

 

I can still remember the speaker and the message when I graduated from elementary here in LZDS many years ago. She was a lady of advanced age, in pink, and she shared about the parable of the talents, a story from the Bible which I hope is known to all of you, and which says, “Those who proved faithful with little things will be entrusted with more, and to those who were not, even what they have will be taken away.” I carried that message with me, although today, I won’t be telling the same story but my prayer before I begin is that you’ll listen like I did that day, and that you’ll be able to pick up a thing or two that you can carry with you even many years from now. My goal isn’t to impress, and I thought hard about how I can encourage and inspire you this morning, so instead of talking about a foreign story anyone can deliver, I decided to share my own, and highlight the wisdom from God’s Word that I’ve held on to and have brought me to where I am now. 

 

When I was your age, a typical middle child at that, I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I had talents, but I was not passionate about anything, and it didn’t help, modesty aside, that I was good at a lot of things, so there I was applying for entirely unrelated courses in different schools. Some people are innately go-getters, and if you are one, who knows exactly what you want to do and how to get there, good for you; but if there are some among you who were like me then, just going through the motions, I can tell you from experience that it’s ok, you’ll get there. But the question is how do you get there? Will you avoid doing anything until you’re completely sure? No. You still have to decide what course or strand to take; and by this time, I believe most of you have already chosen. So what should we do? We pursue it. That is Lesson # 1. Pursue your unique calling. That is also the gist of this entire message and if you take that to heart, my work here is done. At the risk of sounding cliché I would still say it – We are all created unique. Our gender, physical make-up, personality type, strengths, weaknesses, gifts, values and belief system, life experiences, skills and abilities, and key relationships all make up our uniqueness. And I would like to emphasize the word PURSUE, because it is not a one time thing. My 16, 18 year old self had absolutely no idea that I will become a doctor at this age. But I got here by pursuing my calling at that moment – to be a good student; then my next calling after that, and the next. 

 

So continuing my graduating from high school story, after much prayer and discernment, considering all my strengths and weaknesses, my calling was still not clear, but what worked for me was to honor may parents’s advice.I know there are parents in the crowd who are probably pleased with that message but allow me to emphasize that I was in limbo at that time and had no idea what I wanted. But that is lesson # 2, let me say it again, honor your parents. It is also the first commandment with a promise. The Bible says “that it may go well with you.”.  And I can attest that it did with me and my sisters. If you do not have your parents, you can refer to the key relationships in your life, the people who truly know you and love you. They were placed in your life for a reason. And when in doubt, you can turn to them for affirmation and wisdom on the next steps you must take.

 

So I took up Nursing, and eventually found my niche in the healthcare profession. Being in healthcare is challenging, physically and mentally, and it would be very hypocritical of me to not admit that I questioned myself many times, “Is this the right field for me?”. So now let me share with you what kept me going, Lesson No. 3 – Always do your best. A permanent attachment as a footer in all my emails is Colossians 3:23 which says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” Whether it’s a simple homework, a reading assignment, or a major exam, let the acid test be “Did I do my best?” In a result-driven world, your best will not be the same each time. There will be excellent bests but there will also be so-so bests and that’s ok for as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and honestly say that I did my best. I recently had an 18 year old patient who consulted due to intermittent, unpredictable palpitations. She had no prior history of a heart or thyroid problem and even after thorough assessment I could not find a possible physical focus that can explain her condition, except that she was very thin so I considered Micronutrient Deficiency. She also had poor sleeping habits so I explored on that as well.  I asked her about her usual day. She’s also a student. So I asked her achiever ka ba? Dati daw pero hindi na ngayon. Then I said, pero natututunan mo naman yung dapat mong matutunan? Yes daw. Then I told her yun naman pala, Best Effort lang tayo ate. Pag di na kaya, pahinga ka na. And then she suddenly cried in front of me, so aside from medications we also did some counseling. I had to remind her that the “BEST” of every individual in different fields or situations is also unique. We cannot force ourselves to pursue the calling of others, but until we get to a position where you can choose that very specific path you want to pursue, I encourage you to keep doing your best; for you will never discover what you’re truly good at if you settle with mediocrity.  And it will not only help you discover your calling with clarity, it will also build your character.

 

So I did keep doing my best. I was committed to being the best nurse I can be. Because I have been doing my best, I was aware of my limits, and I was confident that I could do more. I thought it was within the nursing profession, so I enrolled in a masteral program; but just when I was about to enter 2nd semester, God opened a door for me, when I was offered the opportunity to enter medical school. I asked God, Lord why now? God has His own timeline but the most obvious answer was we never could have afforded it if I went straight from nursing to med school. My father is an excellent provider but he was aware of his limits and he was careful not to enter into something he could not sustain, and break all our hearts in the process. And I understood that, so I committed to growing where I was planted, as a nurse. But my Lord and Creator had bigger plans, and my only role was to decide whether to take the plunge or not. It was still in healthcare, so I knew God was not trying to confuse me, but it was a whole new different level that would require a drastic change in all of my plans. I’m a doctor now so you can guess what I chose, but it wasn’t as easy at it sounds. It was the most difficult lesson that I had to learn in pursuing my calling  - Lesson # 4, Take courage and get out of your comfort zone. I took one full year to decide but at the same time I already took steps towards that possibility so I balanced work with reviewing for the NMAT and looking into the application requirements of different schools. The Word from God that I held on to was James 1: 17 which says “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” The opportunity to become a doctor was a good gift, but I had to test if it was perfect. I talked to my family, explored scholarship options, and looked for ways to make the transition as smooth as possible. And up to this day, the Lord has been proving to me that it was indeed a perfect gift, because it was from Him. If I decided to stay in my calling as a nurse then, I imagine I would still be in a good place, but I would’ve missed out on all the challenges, the adventures, and the opportunity to do more for my patients. And isn’t that what pursuing our calling and living a life of significance is all about – to be able to help and extend God’s love to others. In your not so far future, you’ll find yourselves choosing between equally good options too; and when you are clearly called to jump in, I hope that you too, will find the courage just do it, and entrust your journey to God.

 

I believe that’s long enough, so now allow to me summarize the lessons I’ve shared with you today:

Lesson 1 Pursue your unique calling

Lesson 2 Honor your parents

Lesson 3 Always do your best

Lesson 4 Take courage and get out of your comfort zone

 

I have more, in the same manner that you’ll collect your own life lessons as you continue in this journey. Don’t be too excited to get older; instead, focus on pursuing your calling at this moment, and allow God to lead you to the next. Congratulations and I pray that you’ll all discover your personal mission and aim for lives of significance all for the glory of God!

 

Thank you very much!

Graduation Speech

 “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17)

 

This is the Word from God that I kept in my heart when five years ago, I was offered the opportunity to study Medicine and pursue becoming a doctor. I was already working as a nurse then, and have started on my post-graduate studies, contented with my calling but with the desire to be the best nurse I can be. In my heart, I have always desired to do more in the healing profession; but to be a doctor, at that stage in my life, seemed like a big, burdensome, almost impossible dream that I never even considered it. The opportunity came as a surprising gift. I had no doubt it was good, but I had to test if it was perfect. 

 

Five years of God’s faithfulness later, I have no doubt that the calling, this gift, is from God, and it is indeed good and perfect. I can only look back in awe at how He provided for me, guided me, sustained me, and enabled me to achieve great things beyond my imagination – from getting a good score in the NMAT, leading me to FEU-NRMF, giving me a scholarship that allowed me to study Medicine for free, to enabling me to do my best and excel not just to maintain the scholarship but also to train me to become the best doctor I can be. I can still remember that night, when I was crying in frustration while reviewing for our first Gross Anatomy prelim exam because I felt that I could not remember things even after reading them multiple times. I took a moment to pray and cried my heart out to God in surrender, then kept on reading anyway. That exam was my turning point, as I found myself knowing the answer to most of the questions, to my surprise. I knew it was God’s favor, and from then on, I just pressed on and did my best. I never thought it would get me here. All glory and praise to God alone!  

 

He has also blessed me with a wonderful family, and I would like to take this opportunity to honor my parents - Mama Susie and Mama Josie for the values you’ve taught us when we were young, I know you’re watching over us from heaven. Papa, thank you for supporting my decision even if it meant delaying your retirement. The journey could have been difficult and lonely, but I’ve always felt you, Ate Angel and Micah walking with me, making sure that I can focus on my studies 100%. 

 

Beyond my family, it took a village to send this medical student to school, and our whole family is grateful to you Maam, for being my benefactor in secret, for believing in me and asking for nothing in return except that I do my best. Thank you Tito Jorge for your constant support, which, to me, has become a symbol of our Mamas’ support of my dream. I also thank my relatives both in the Paglicawan and Aguilar clan, for all your prayers, encouragement, and support in all forms. I give my utmost gratitude to FEU-NRMF School of Medicine for the generous academic scholarship, and to the FEU-DNRSM Alumni Foundation thru Dr. Hernani Tansuche, particularly Class 1960, for accepting yours truly as a scholar and for believing in my dream. The foundation not only sustained my medical education but even generously allowed me to gain global elective experience. I treasure all these in my heart, and I hope to pay it forward one day when I am able.

 

 I also share this achievement with our mentors at the FEU-NRMF School of Medicine, including the consultants and residents, who have made training young aspiring doctors their calling, patiently sharing their knowledge to us and helping us not only to understand, but also to develop the discipline and desire for continuous learning. You did not make it easy for us, but we know that the constant challenge was meant to instill in us a greater appreciation of what it means and takes to become a physician.

 

We can look back and focus on what this journey took from us – time, energy, resources, at times our own health; but perhaps, everyone would agree that we have gained so much more and high above in the list are our friends, classmates and batchmates who shared not only notes, ‘transes’, and ‘samplexes’, but also bonded with us in our worries, tears, struggles and victories, both big and small. Let me take this opportunity to thank my classmates in 1D, 2F, 3F and Prime I, especially my inner and consistent circle then and now, Kirs foremost, then Ags. I may not be able to name each one but I am very grateful to you all for accepting me and showing me kindness. I cannot imagine getting this achievement without all the help you have extended to me, Ate Kat. To the transmakers of the batch, thank you for your generosity and hard work that have allowed most, if not all of us, to prepare for every exam more efficiently. 

 

I also would like to recognize those who have made my past four years more colorful and fruitful: my quiz bee and CPC teammates under the guidance of Dr. Vila and Dr Tagayuna respectively – doctors and educators at heart who have taught us lessons beyond the four walls of the classroom;  and my LUKEMD family led by our advisers, Dr. Viterbo and Dr. Ravelo, who helped us appreciate the greater purpose of who we are and what we do in God’s bigger plan.

 

I still hold on to that greater purpose, that while we, RCCO Class 2020, will forever go down in history as the batch who missed their graduation ceremony because of the COVID-19 pandemic, and who is now faced with a greater uncertainty of what lies ahead, we have victoriously finished the first step, and our journey, as aspiring doctors, continues. The current situation revealed to the world that the path we have chosen is dangerous and difficult, yet the need and the call is urgent and immensely significant. Years from now, we may find each other in different fields, but I pray that we may find each other serving nonetheless, always doing our best, for God, our patients, ourselves, our family, and our country. 

 

Congratulations Class 2020 and may our good Lord bless us all! 

Thoughts on the Magi

Someone's very happy to be back home in time for the Christmas season!:)

We are now on our 7th month of clerkship, having overcome majority of our major rotations (OB, Pedia, IM); and being in our base hospital this December, on a benign rotation, and be back home again feels like I'm being rewarded for the months of hardwork and toxicity..hehe. This, in itself, is already a Christmas gift I am very grateful for, Jesus.

I also got to attend church last Sunday..hooray for pre-off!..so it really feels like I've been receiving gifts since December 1st. As the Lord allows it, I'll be a different kind of "busy" this December, because I can finally attend parties and events, which I've been missing since clerkship started.

I have missed on a lot of things and have also missed doing a lot of things, journaling being one of them. I'm still able to do it by God's grace, albeit irregularly and inconsistently, but thank you Lord for continuously giving me opportunities to be filled despite missing on church, cell group and accountability meetings.

Last Sunday was different though, as I got to hear a sermon on the story of the Magi once again (it was my most memorable Christmas message from last year as well), but from a different perspective. I looked at my journal and I didn't have any entry on it so I wanted to spend this rare free time processing my thoughts so I could go back on it later on to be reminded and encouraged.

Scripture: Matthew 2: 1-12

The Magi Visit the Messiah

2 After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi[a] from the east came to Jerusalem 2 and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.”

3 When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. 4 When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Messiah was to be born. 5 “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written:

6 “‘But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
    are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for out of you will come a ruler
    who will shepherd my people Israel.’[b]”

7 Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. 8 He sent them to Bethlehem and said, “Go and search carefully for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.”

9 After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. 11 On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. 12 And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.

Source: www.biblegateway.com

Other bible translations use "wise men" to describe the Magi, but never as kings. It did not also say that there were 3 of them, just 3 kinds of gifts; and they didn't have names, but that their offering of worship became a part of history means that what they did honored the Lord.

They were not Jews, but they came all the way from the east to come worship Jesus, with the star as their sign and guide, from which we can imply that they have been waiting for this to happen. It has been speculated that this is because of the prophecy and teachings of Daniel, who was once a leader of the Magi, which has been passed on to the succeeding generations of wise men.

I am not adept with historical accounts, so I'm gonna focus on the insights, as I remember them from the sermons I've heard.

On the perspective focusing on Jesus, we see Jesus as the born King worthy to be worshipped and honored, not just by the Jews or the Israelites, but also of the Gentiles. He is King of all. He is the promised shepherd and ruler from Bethlehem and he deserves the best that we have to offer. The question that caught me was, do I, like the Magi, experience exceedingly great joy, each time I remember the birth of Jesus?

This now brings me to the perspective focusing on the Magi - wise men, rich and great men in their own right, who sacrificed their comforts and traveled far and wide to bow down, worship and bring gifts to Jesus. They were following a star, which isn't really a secure and reliable compass by today's standards (at a time when we have GPS but still doubt it), but because they believed that it would lead them to Jesus, they pursued it with great joy. They also brought the best gifts they could bring. And when they were told to go by another route, they obeyed, sacrificing their own safety in obedience to God.

I cried at the question - "What do I bring at the feet of Jesus, to worship and honor Him?" Do I bring my best? Am I obedient and fully yielded to Him? Is He pleased with my offering?

Your word in Psalm 51:16-17 says...

16 For you do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You take no pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

I long to worship and honor you Lord Jesus, for you are worthy, and you deserve all our praise. Help me worship you with all I have and all I am. I want to offer my utmost for His highest, my best for His glory. This is the desire of my heart.

Also, fill my heart with joy as I remember who You are. You are Jesus, Son of the living God, our Lord and Savior, our bondage breaker, and it is because of your sacrifice and victory on the cross that I am here, free to live and to love, and to celebrate your goodness and greatness in my life. And always, I can say in my heart, it was indeed, a merry Christmas.


 

Essay: Why Is the Bible Relevant Today?

I am currently in the process of tidying up, and I'm torn between throwing and keeping this certificate...

 ...I decided to keep an electronic copy instead (I'm so bright!..haha) and keep a copy of the winning essay as well. I was first out of 3 contestants, and the oldest as well..haha. Our church organized the essay writing contest as part of the Bible Month Celebration last January and I participated because I was afraid nobody would join and I wanted to honor our church's efforts. I guess I missed writing as well so it was a good excuse to go back despite being busy in school.

Honestly, I did not think I would win, because although I would meet the criteria on organization, grammar, etc.; content-wise, I thought my essay was too personal, and intentionally so, because I wrote it just one random morning as part of my quiet time when my morning classes were canceled. Since my intention was to have an entry, I did not want to stress so much over the essay, as I have in past contests..hehe; else, I won't be able to come up with an entry at all. So I revised the guide question a bit and made it into Why is the Bible Relevant To Me? And winning was an unexpected sweet bonus because it came with a cash prize (yey!), although I felt bad a bit when I learned that I competed against high school students. I initially thought that it wasn't fair because I had the advantage, but that's my pride talking so sorry Lord and thank you na lang po!

Enough with the backstory, here's my essay - a reminder for me that I'm always a winner in the Lord when I write from my heart:)

WHY IS THE BIBLE RELEVANT TODAY?

Not all people have had the blessing of being exposed to the Bible at a young age, and as I reflect on it now, I cannot imagine how I would have turned out as a human being, a citizen, a daughter, sister, friend, student, and the many other things I am now to others, if I did not have the wonderful privilege of knowing and learning from the Bible.

As a child, I looked at it as a wealth of stories with lessons on strength, bravery, obedience, love, patience, kindness, generosity, trust and many others. My parents and my teachers on the other hand, made good use of my delight in those stories to instill those virtues in me and introduce me to the greatest hero, Jesus Christ. It was not until I approached my late school age and teenage years that I learned of the foreign comic book superheroes that we patronize in the movies today; but as for the stories of Noah’s ark, Queen Esther, Daniel in the lion’s den, Moses and the parting of the Red Sea, I knew them by heart; and at a time when I was still sheltered from real life’s challenges, they were among my first models of faith and trust in the Lord. 

In my teenage years, when my doubts and insecurities were at their peak, the Bible became a source of wisdom and comfort. I remember the many nights that I felt down and alone as I experienced the world for the first time without the security of home. I would open my Bible crying not knowing what to do, and I would finish reading crying still, but this time, with a sense of strength and hope, overwhelmed with the truth that the Lord is always with me, that He loves me, and that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Living alone in college was one of the most difficult times of my life, especially with the death of our mother, but it was also the time that I learned to really seek the Lord in prayer and meditation of His Word. As I sought Him, the Lord used that time in return to instruct me, mold me, and increase my knowledge of Him through our personal time together while studying his Word, as part of a church with teaching and sermons anchored on the Bible, and as part of a small group sharing our insights and encouraging one another through the truths we learn from the Bible.  

After college, the responsibilities were greater, the problems were more challenging, and the decisions I had to make became more difficult. The Bible remained for me, as a source of strength, wisdom, comfort and guidance, but at a level that matched my needs. For while it does not change its contents, and although I have read it from cover to cover, it always speaks to me in a new way. Or in other times, it speaks to me in the same way, but in my frailty the Lord knew that I needed to be reminded, and there He was, patiently teaching me with the same chapters and verses, and honoring my heart’s prayer to become a better child and servant of His each day. In the same way that I loved the Lord more as I knew more of Him, I needed the Bible more as I learned more of it – not just holding on to His truths for the big decisions, challenges and milestones; but more so for the daily character-building and seemingly small moments of instruction, when He was actually preparing me to shape up when the big moments come along.  

The Bible, God’s Word, is indeed relevant today as it was to me in the past and in the days to come. Its message transcends time, culture, language, changing needs and individual differences; just as God’s love is for all, breaking through all barriers, even our sin. I praise God for the freedom and privilege to experience the transforming power of His Word, and the opportunity to share it to others, that they may also know of Jesus Christ and His life-changing gift, just as it continually changes mine. 

Living Up to My Name

Someone just updated her blog banner and layout..hehe

I finally had good use of the picture of that wonderful sunset that I took when I joined a medical mission in Palawan. I don't know how to take great pictures, but such beauty, thankfully, did not require any special skill to be captured.

I'm almost at the end of my shortest semestral break yet (two weeks lang!!!) and going back to writing has been on my agenda when I planned how I wanted to spend this short break meaningfully.

Yesterday was about enrollment and a few errands. The day before that was catch up and accountability time with my growth group leader Kat and wrapping some Christmas gifts. Last week was about helping our classmates and batchmates pass their exams by providing rationale for the past exam questions with some baking and buying of school books on the side.

It's funny how I somehow get to do more when the break is shorter. I once again proved to myself that the lack of time is not the issue...that I should not be asking for more of it because we have all been given the same 24 hours a day. What I need help with from the Lord is on gaining the awareness of how short the time given to me is...to number my days aright, that I may gain a heart of wisdom (Psalm 90:12).

As I hope that I could write and process my thoughts more often from now on, here's one to document a milestone I reached in this short break...

         More than ever, I am proud of myself for taking the biggest leap in overcoming my personal issues - and that is by confessing them to an accountability partner. I thank the Lord for the life of my growth group leader Kat and for the spiritual sisterhood and community that we have. To have someone check on you on sensitive stuff can be scary and shameful for most people, but of the concrete steps I've taken in the past to overcome my pet sins, this has been the most difficult to do. I had no doubt that Kat would minister to me with truth and grace, and that I can come to her as I can come to Jesus, freely and without fear; but the biggest obstacle that I had to overcome was myself, and my pride I guess, because for a long time I've been convincing myself that I can deal with it on my own. But I can't explain how freeing it was when I finally shared things with her. Now, when I have to battle with my thoughts, I am reminded that I have an extra filter, and that I am not alone in the fight not only spiritually but also physically.

In the present time, perhaps people would say that I'm being too hard on myself with these issues that I have. But they are big deal for me. My name Katrina means "purity", and it has always been my prayer to the Lord that He help me live up to my name, not only in the eyes of other people but even in the most secret portion of my heart and mind that only He and I am aware of. I want to be holy as He is holy. I know I can never be perfectly pure, but I intend to do my part in my desire to be "set apart" for His glory, foremost by committing in my heart to obey His will. This is also part of my personal preparation for the partner I am praying to have in the future as the Lord wills it:) Not that I'm feeling that the time is near; on the contrary, I feel that my current season cannot include a significant other yet; but regardless of whether I'm bound to meet him soon or not, I intend to be the best version of myself.

I know this would be a lifetime battle until I get to be with Him in heaven. But I intend to do my best, with the motivation from God's Word - "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." (Matthew 5:8). And for me, to see You Lord is the greatest reward :)

Thank you Lord for your sufficient grace.

And of course, this part of my journey would not be complete without my theme songs..hehe..Thank you Lord for Spotify:)
Masterpiece by Tori Kelly ft. Lecrae
Just As Sure by Tori Kelly and Jonathan McReynolds
Whole by Jonathan McReynolds feat. India Arie
Maintain by Jonathan McReynolds feat. Chantae Cann

P.S. Can I just say how much I love Tori Kelly and the entire Hiding Place album! And learning about Jonathan McReynolds' music was a bonus!

Thoughts on Psalm 84

This morning, I had fresh insights as I read Psalm 84 so let me put them down into writing before they slip off my mind..hehe

I've always considered it as the psalm where the song "Blessed" by Hillsong was based, and usually focused on v. 4 and v. 10, which declare that blessed are those who dwell in the house of the Lord. In connection to this, I've usually related the house of the Lord to the church and the physical building.

But as I read the entire psalm this morning and prayed it as my own, I realized that more than dwelling in the house of the Lord here on earth, my soul was longing to be with the Lord in His eternal dwelling place, in heaven. As I proclaimed v. 1 and v. 2, I knew I was longing and hoping for something more.

And then I came to v. 5 which says

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

Then I realized that Psalm 84 is my prayer, and the prayer of many other Christians who have set their eyes on the eternal, and have understood that our life here on earth is a journey towards something far greater, as great as being with God.

It is a prayer of those who depend on God for strength to live each day towards God's direction; because we all know it is not easy. But we do our best with the grace of God, because there's no place we'd rather be but with Him. I actually share the sentiments of the psalmist in v. 10 when he said 'I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked'; because I know I'm not the best Christian there is. I lack and fail in so many aspects and disciplines including discipling others; but I keep on trying anyway, if it would please my Master enough for Him to let me enter. I would accept any role He would give me in heaven if only I can be with Him, because being with Him is more than enough. (I say this with a prayer as I guard my heart, that the Lord will keep me grounded, gracious and humble until He comes)

As we press on, we are given an assurance in v. 11 and 12 which says

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor;

no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.

O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Thank you Lord:)

Praise and Worship 30-day Devo Challenge on Psalms Day 1

Last Sunday I was given this sheet of paper as part of the Praise and Worship team in our church. I looked at it and I figured, this would be easy so I immediately wrote my name and signed on the response form then handed it over to our band leader.

Three days later, I still haven't written anything on my journal. I read Psalm 1 yesterday but was too tired to write my insights. I'm currently down with pharyngitis (sore throat, body malaise) so I begged off work today. I've been sleeping since early last night and I've been itching to start on this so here I am, finally...Thank you Lord for this opportunity to just rest, lie down, and finally get started on this devo challenge.

Now on to business...

Apple tree image copied from this site

Psalm 1

1 Blessed is the one

who does not walk in step with the wicked

or stand in the way that sinners take

or sit in the company of mockers,

2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,

and who meditates on his law day and night.

3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither—

whatever they do prospers.

4 Not so the wicked!

They are like chaff

that the wind blows away.

5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,

nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

6 For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,

but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

Psalm 1 is not only a fitting introduction to the entire book but to this challenge as well, as it reminds us to delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on His Word day and night. I have failed in this big time and have not been faithful in consciously allotting time for devotion. Many times I've substituted reading the Word with other Christian books but in my heart I knew that my soul is longing for God to speak to me purely without any distractions through His raw Word. Even worse, there were many times that I rejected time with Him altogether, desiring other things that seemingly gave me relief from all my responsibilities at work, in the church and to my family. 

The man who delights in the law is contrasted with one who walks in the step of the wicked or stands in the way that sinners take. I understand this by experience because it is during my weak and failing times in meditating God's Word that I'm also weakest against the sins and addictions I've been trying to overcome in my life. 

But a person who meditates the law is likened to a tree that yields its fruit in season, and whose leaf does not wither. I've been taught to seek God even more intently in times of weakness and tiredness, only to find myself doing exactly the opposite. Like many others, I get disheartened when I don't get to see the fruits of my labor - in myself, in the people I disciple, and in the ministry. But here I am, inspired to persevere and to keep on laboring in the Word, with the reminder that the fruit will not always be present, but it will appear in its perfect time and season. And while the fruit will not always be there, there will always be leaves that will not wither, and they should be enough for me to press on. God further promised, 'whatever they do prospers...for He watches over the way of the righteous'.

I am far from righteous but I belong to the group that consistently tries to be one. Ang kapal na ng mukha ko actually, asking for forgiveness from God each time I fail (which happens often), getting back up praying and hoping that I'll be stronger to resist temptation next time, with His grace, and powered by the strength that comes from Him. 

But despite my failures and limitations, the Lord has been faithful in blessing me tremendously, truly more than I have asked or ever imagined. By the end of this month I'll be awarded as Most Outstanding Nurse 2014 in our institution. It is a privilege that fills my heart so, because it is a validation of the passion and perseverance I've been putting in my work which I also consider as my ministry.

I am thankful to all the people who have helped me, and to my leaders who have supported me and pushed me beyond my abilities. But as I receive the award, I hope to give glory to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who gives me extraordinary strength each day, and who inspires me to always give my very best for He deserves nothing less. 

Father, may you continue to grant me the grace to strive to be righteous, holy and pleasing unto thy sight. It is my prayer that when you look at me, you would not see anything that would make you turn away. Help me live by what your son Jesus has done for me on the cross more than 2000 years ago. And by your Spirit, may I have the strength to overcome all challenges and emerge victorious in Your Name.

Thank you and I love you,

Katy

P.S. If it is according to your will to skip the normal disease process..hehe.., please heal me already please. I want to go back to my normal self again. But if this is your way of telling me to slow down and rest, then I'll be glad to abide, trusting that everything (work, ministry activities on hold) will all fall into place. 

Jesus, our Mediator and Intercessor

Here are my highlight revelations for the week from the book of Job. I didn't notice these the first time I read it but thank God for devotionals, and for always giving us new insights when we study His Word.

Thank you Lord for giving us Jesus to be a mediator, our Messiah. Indeed, you love us so much. And now we can stand before you freely, not on the basis of who we are, but because of what you have done for us. Help me to share who you are especially to those who are suffering, that they may know the truth that in Jesus, we have a mediator, and a great intercessor:) Thank you thank you thank you!

The Prayer of Jabez

It's already Week 6 of 2015 and I have not been faithful in keeping up with my resolve to write a journal entry or blog post at least once a week...huhu

But I also resolved to not be too hard on myself and to learn how to let minor things pass so I won't make a big deal out of it....but but but I'll do my best to work on it - to be more committed and consistent in keeping documented records of how God has been so good to me each week.

The love month has already started:), but in church (Fairview Christian Fellowship reprezzzent!) we're not doing the usual sermon series on love. Yesterday we started a series on 1 Chronicles 4:9-10 entitled "The Prayer for Breakthrough Living".

I've meditated on the Prayer of Jabez a few times in the past but the application usually centered on ministry and missions. But part of the application of the message Pastor Nixon gave yesterday was to 'pray the first part of the Jabez Prayer everyday for the next 30 days and record all the blessings you received especially those that you did not expect.'

I did that just this morning and I felt so relieved and excited at the same time, to see how God will bless me tremendously because I asked. I also consider this as an exercise because although I've always known that He is good and mighty, and that He can give me beyond anything I ask or ever imagine; more often, I find it difficult to ask.

It's easier for me to ask for my needs such as anointing each time I would lead praise and worship, or wisdom and eloquence whenever I would speak in front of a crowd; but with the things I desire, no matter how much I want them, I somehow feel that it's wrong to ask.

Even with my parents, Ate would usually tell me, 'hindi ka kasi humihingi'. The good thing is, I understand where this aversion to asking is coming from; the bad news is, it isn't a happy story.

I can still remember that day, I was probably around 8-9 years old, when I resolved not to ask and to be as self-sufficient as possible. It was one of the saddest moments of my childhood - when I felt so unloved and the middle child issues within me were at their strongest. It even got to the point when I got sick but didn't tell anyone because I was so determined not to ask for help...but they learned anyway because I literally could not get up from bed because of high fever...and now I'm in tears..badtrip..haha

Now many years later, even though I've been liberated from those issues by God's grace, I guess old habits are hard to die. With Papa sometimes, there's also this assumption of mine that he would not grant my request anyway (and I hate disappointments..haha) so I'd rather not ask...you see, if other people have a false sense of entitlement; I, on the other hand, have been training myself not to feel entitled for different reasons. First, I feel guilty because I usually mistake it with discontent; second, I do not like disappointments which I get whenever I get the guts to ask only to be turned down; and third, because of pride I guess.

But with God, I know it's different. And He has proven to me many times in the past how much He loves me and wants to give the best for me. And now as I look back, I remember the times when I just cried out in desperation because there was no way I could be self-sufficient in that particular situation, and I realized...it was when breakthrough came...I also realized that I should not worry too much about mixing my desires up with discontent for as long I put God's will and His glory on top of everything I desire. Besides, I'm PRAYING..haha..so I should not be afraid. I'm confident that as I keep on praying, God would set my heart right if I'm praying with the wrong motives, or if I'm not yet ready for what I'm asking. But foremost, I must ASK:)

In relation to this, God has blessed me recently with an opportunity to study medicine and fulfill my deepest desire to become a doctor. I did not pray for it (and now I regret that I didn't) but I've been crying out to God about it, not for the opportunity to become a doctor though, but for the peace and contentment to accept what has been given me (I know...I WAS that kind of person). I realized now that He is giving me much much more than I asked or ever imagine. Before the offer came, I already gave up on becoming a doctor...but when it came, the intense joy I felt reminded me that in my heart, I never stopped dreaming that I would someday make a greater impact in the healing profession as a doctor. And God always knew. I guess He realized I was never going to ask for it, He got tired and decided to just give it..haha

So now, at 25 years old, here I am juggling work with reviewing for the NMAT. Many people around me are giving me a reality check - that I'll be old by the time I get to practice as a doctor..but I'm unfazed..haha..because I am confident that if God willed me to become a doctor, He would take care of everything.

As for me, I'll keep on praying and exercising the discipline of Asking...from the God of 'how much more', the God who honors dreams and desires for His glory, and the God who loves me so so much!

I hope to write about the blessings I'll be receiving in the past days as I pray the prayer of Jabez! Thank you Lord!

Love,

Katy    

Week 3 Insights- Papal Visit, Let it Drop, 5 CSs in which God Guides Us

One of the things I hope to do this 2015 is to write (whether here or on my trusted journal) at least once a week about how God has been good to me, the things He taught me or revealed to me, how I've been, the things I went through and related stuff. It was a commitment I made during the camp I attended before 2014 ended, but which was also a bit of a compromise because no matter how much I appreciate the beauty of writing down my thoughts especially conversations with God and amazing milestones, I can't seem to bring myself to do it daily. If it still isn't obvious, I'm an introvert writer (if there's such a thing) which means, I am not too comfortable sharing my notes to others. Part of it include days (okay, most days) when I just want to keep my thoughts to myself without any desire to write it, only to regret later on that I didn't keep a record of it. Besides, I know I can blame it on the introversion all I want but it would still boil down to my laziness..hehe..so I realistically aimed at writing once a week...and so far so good! Yey!

Today is the first day of the long weekend (January 15-19) to give way to the Papal Visit. I am not Catholic but I like the example Pope Francis is showing Christians- on living a life of love, mercy, and compassion. And just like what Pope Francis has been pointing at, I hope all the people who admire him will know more of Jesus because of his example. May they go beyond seeing Pope Francis as he is, to seeing who is behind what he has become, the amazing God who transforms lives for His glory.

We're also on our 5th day of prayer and fasting in our church and I admit that I am not as focused and as controlled. I initially committed that I would eat only 1 meal a day but yesterday, at around 10 am, I gave up and ate a bread because I was already beginning to feel irritated with the people who asked help from me. Pressure's high at work these days because of the many requirements we have to accomplish so before committing an even greater sin, I said a prayer and ate one piece of pandesal (with ham and cheese..hehe). After all, I am sure God would not delight in my sacrifice if I harbor ill thoughts against my neighbor because I was hungry; but to be able to have done both - obedience and sacrifice would have been better. Right now and until tomorrow, I committed to a one meal fast and every night, we gather as a family to discuss our daily prayer and fasting devotion. This is a first for us because we usually pray and fast individually, but doing it with family certainly makes the hunger easier to bear. Our daily devotion focuses on the armour of God; and God has been revealing to me the devil's strongholds in my life that need to be destroyed, as well as its attacks I need to be guarded from. But more than being guilty, I long to be liberated from all of Satan's lies. I know I am a work in progress but I've been failing more lately. Thankfully, I have a God who never fails and never gives up on me and in Him I know I am an overcomer. So as I rely not on my own strength, I intend to strengthen God's armour on  me by praying and studying His Word more frequently and intentionally.

In relation to that, I recently finished Joyce Meyer's New Day New You devotional in Youversion Bible and certainly gained a lot of revelations and tips on how I could work on my emotions. One of my favorite lessons was on letting things drop, trusting God and letting Him work instead of worrying about things that are beyond my control. And even if it's within my control, I'm gonna practice majoring only on the majors and loosening my hold on everything else. It would take discarding a big chunk of my pride, which is a good thing, and just trusting God and offering to Him all my concerns in prayer. Aaaand so far, so good..I think:)

Finally, I'm also on Bible in a Year devotional, still in Youversion Bible, and while I find the readings a lot longer than what I'm used to, the insights I've been getting are most profound and helpful in understanding the Word so even though I'm behind with the lessons, I intend to stick with it and use the long weekend to catch up.  

This morning, I particularly took note of what I read on 5 CSs in Which God Guides Us. I found it very insightful and useful that I wrote it on my physical journal and I'm also writing it here again for anyone who might find these nuggets of wisdom useful as well. These were illustrated in Genesis 24:1-67, the story of how Abraham's servant knew that Rebekah was God's chosen wife for Isaac. This does not only apply to choosing a partner though, and can be used when discerning God's guidance for our decisions.

1. Commanding Scripture (v. 3-4)
- God commanded His people to marry only believers in Him.

2. Compelling Spirit (v. 12, 15)
- guided by God, listening to Him and being led by the Holy Spirit as we pray...so pray
v.45 'Before I finished praying in my heart, Rebekah came out'

3. Common Sense
- The choice of Rebekah made sense (v. 16) for she was not only beautiful, but also generous, gracious and kind (v.19).

4. Counsel of the Saints
- Godly advice; Rebekah and Isaac chose (v. 57, 67) following the counsel of the saints especially their parents who recognized that this is from the Lord (v. 50)

5. Circumstantial Signs (v. 12-26)
- The servant asked for signs and got exactly what he asked for. The signs he asked were not random but a test of character of Rebekah, which she fulfilled.

From Bible in One Year, Commentary by Nicky and Pippa Gumbel, Youversion Bible

On top of my daily devotion, I have a lot of pending readings and reviewers to devour and I am having a difficult time 'starting'. May God grant me the grace, and the momentum to excellently accomplish all my responsibilities and commitments for His glory! I'm feeling sleepy now so there...may I be able to keep this up for the entire year!

Love,

Katy

Won't Be Destroyed

...claiming this because my biggest struggle in the past year and up to now is how I get so sad, disappointed and discouraged easily; hence, my volatile emotions..

But with 2015 comes new opportunities and beginnings- to restore my bubbly self by disciplining myself to have faith, to keep on praying, and let go of my negative emotions instead of dwelling on them, which unknowingly leads to nurturing them.

But as what God has revealed to Joyce Meyer, when we get disappointed, we can get reappointed! So super thank you Lord that you do not let me become gloomy, but you lead me to learning ways on how I can get back up and conquer all worries and sadness!

Thank you for keeping me company (been singing Keep Me Company by Walkie Talkies in my head..hehe) and for reminding me each time that your joy is my strength; therefore, in you, I would never be destroyed:)

2-0-1-5

Well hello there 2015...

Now that you've arrived, I also recognize that the holiday vacation will soon be over before I know it, so before I get caught up in business once again, allow me to whip up my traditional year-end and new year post as my way of concretely looking back and looking forward.

I also recently came from our One Move-One Wave Camp at church where I was a part-time camper, part-time speaker. I spoke about the benefits of consistency (BIG Word), but despite projecting the image of someone who's consistent, I must confess that I've been finding it difficult to start doing the commitments I made in the same camp.

It's just January 1, I know, and I'm probably being too hard on myself; but I intend to start this year right so through this post, I hope to begin fulfilling my goal to journal (physical or virtual) at least once a week on my insights and highlights.

It's just Metro Manila for us this year's holidays and the Paglicawan Annual Family Reunion was a blast as usual. It was held at The Ipil Gardens in Marikina (definitely a nice place for events and reunions) and were hosted by Tito Ed and Tita Helen's brood. It was Alfie's first time to join our reunion and it was stressful both for him and us, but the kids enjoyed having him around and I bet he also enjoyed it too especially the balloons and pingpong balls..hehe! Tita Saline, Kuya Jan, and Ivan also joined us for the first time. They also stayed in the house for about a week and these are some of my observations: (1) My lungs could hardly stand cigarette smoke so I'm very blessed that nobody in our household smokes and I only had to bear with it for a week; and (2) Having a toddler in the house is fun but we're not used to the disorganization and clutter associated with it...the oc-oc in me could not help but be stressed whenever he would step on the carpet with his outdoor slippers on...hehe

Speaking of carpet, a lot has been added to beautify our humble home such as indoor plants, our new dining table, some decorations here and there and a much bigger television. Our home is one of our highlights and one of God's wonderful blessings to our family in 2014 and I'm very grateful (especially in times of storms and strong winds) that we have this shelter to protect us and keep us warm and safe.

Each day, I praise God for another chance at life, for protection, good health and provision, but among my highlights include:
- Promotion to Nurse II (thank you Lord!)
- my stint and unexpected win as Ms. Nursing 1st Runner up (highlight pa rin to..haha)
- HMA win of our Paper Reduction Initiative, God's favor at work through my bosses, and little victories and accomplishments each day
- Consistent song leading at church, and my being part of the Prayer Team, One Wave core
- My cell group with Kat and my own cell group with Jam and Nona
- God's provision for my masteral studies
- and the biggest surprise and promise of the future: Med School in 2016! (I'm claiming it na po Lord:)

And once again, I can't help but be teary-eyed just remembering how faithful you have been then and now. Despite my struggles, you've been there...you have always been there for me, waiting for me to get hold of myself and remember who you are and who I am because of what you have done for me.

So thank you Lord! and as I enter 2015, I confess that I have this little dread not knowing what the future will bring; but I intend to fight it and triumph over it as I hold on to your perfect love that drives out all fears. I can't say with certainty Lord that I've become a better person with my fairly equal amount of hits and misses, but I hope that as I sincerely try, you would continue to help me overcome my emotions and my tendency to worry too much. Help me to rejoice and not be too serious with stuffs..hehe..but teach me to be serious as well on things that really matter.

This 2015, I'm believing You for wonderful surprises yet again, as I prepare myself for what you have set aside for me in 2016:) Your will be done in my life Lord, and may all of me give glory to You now and always!

Happy New Year from Seezums and Alfie!

Love,

Katy

Forgiveness and Gratitude

Here I am wanting to preserve a few thoughts before I go to sleep...

I just finished Youversion's devotional plan by Joyce Meyer entitled The Power of Being Thankful, and indeed, I am very grateful for the nuggets of wisdom God has revealed to me once again through His Word.

The devotional reading on healing brokenness through gratitude struck me most especially, because it is very far from the standards of this world we live in. Carol, my officemate and friend, said that she is afraid for me and my future because she thinks I have the makings of a martyr based on how I approach situations, and how I react to those who have wronged me. She tells me that it's easy to forgive but not to forget. But I believe that they go hand in hand...because true forgiveness is not given only when the pain is gone..it involves the daily act of making the decision to give up one's entitlement to hurt back a person no matter how deserving he or she may be..

And it's definitely far from easy especially for a melancholic like me who is gifted with a good memory..hehe..One word I would use to accurately describe myself is 'mapagtanim' because my brain effortlessly stores memories of broken promises.

I've actually just been learning through practice the art of 'deliberate forgetting'- because I don't really forget, but each time I remember, I surrender my hurts to God and just allow Him to heal me with just the right antidote- a heart that chooses to praise and thank Him for what is left, over what has been taken away; with full trust and confidence in God, my healer, that He'd turn my mourning into dancing and my sorrows into joy. Carol would throw situations in marriage at me and would ask me how I would respond to test how far I can go. She was most fearful when I answered that where there is room for separation, there is room for forgiveness (I read this somewhere..hehe). Then I tell her, I really wouldn't know how I would respond until I get there..and I pray that I won't have to get there so I'm taking my time, praying for and discerning God's chosen partner for me. But in approaching all my relationships, I really pray that I would have the courage and the strength to forgive myself and others because let's accept it, no matter how much we try to be careful, we still fail.

But God is good and faithful, He provided us with the best role model- Himself. He never tires of forgiving us despite our repeated mistakes. So whenever I find it hard to forgive, I remember the Father's sacrifice when He sent His only son Jesus to die on the cross so that I may be justified from all my past, present, and future sins. And just thinking about it never fails to bring me to tears of immense gratitude, and helps me find the courage to do the same...

Good night!

"As a worship leader, I am called to sing songs of truth over people, even when my own life looks dark and gloomy. Even when and maybe most importantly when I need that same truth sung over me."

- From Oxygen, Lincoln Brewster devotion at YouVersion Bible

Had to post this as this is just so true for me...so blessed to have been called by God as a worship leader...it did not make worshipping through trials easier, but it certainly made it more instinctive until it just became my go to calmer for difficult times..thank you Lord!

Always Enough

I have many things to be grateful for...I'm done with my first semester at graduate school and I think I did pretty well, I got my prize for winning Ms. Nursing 1st runner up, and I got the other half of my 13th month pay last Friday...yet after just one call from Papa regarding my enrollment for the second semester, suddenly it became very difficult for me to keep smiling...

You see, for some reason even though my pay increased when I got promoted in September, I've been finding it difficult to save for my insurance investment and for my tuition. So I asked Papa for help, if he could pay for a big portion of my tuition so I could start saving again and pay for my expenses without having to worry too much especially since Christmas is coming and I really desire to give gifts of thanksgiving and bless people. I was so expectant that Papa would be in it with me but when he called this afternoon and brought up the matter, he said he was going to give a lot less than expected, followed by "Mag-ipon ka naman sa suweldo mo anak."...huhu...so the next thing I did was to make excuses to finish the call because I might just burst into tears in front of my friends....:(

I was sad for two (2) things - first, because I wouldn't know where to get my tuition fee, and the second (which was the reason why I was teary-eyed at the FX on the ride home) was this big tiring struggle with my resources. I do not want to go abroad at the moment because I feel that my presence is more important than the money I'd be bringing in, but this battle with having enough plus a little allowance for happy things every now and then (especially during Christmas) has been difficult. And being accused of not saving (which though not directly stated, means that I've been spending all my money on less important, if not worthless things) only made it worse, not because I'm guilty but because I know in my heart how much of myself I've been giving for this family. I never demanded for appreciation because whatever I'm doing or giving, I'm giving because I love them and we all have our individual acts of generosity in the family; but I also just can't stand to be judged as the total opposite. But that is how it all appears to Papa, that I've been spending my money on myself that I have to ask more...he didn't see that I've been spending my money for family that I have little left for myself...then the demons I've been fighting off started coming back in the form of questions and judgments...Why I gave up on my dream of becoming a doctor? because we didn't have the money, or more because I didn't have Papa's support...because he's not used to paying for my studies...because I've never been assertive with my needs and desires, or because he just wasn't as eager to support me like he supported Ate...because he loved me less...and many other things that made me wallow in self-pity for a moment...

Yes...for a moment...

Just for a moment...:) Because this is not the first time I had this fix. I've had many of these moments in the past and as I sat there at the FX, with all these thoughts in my head, the desire to fight it was there, as well as surrender, knowing that I could not overcome those feelings on my own. And when I asked God for help, He came through for me, and I started singing Kari Jobe's Always Enough in my head, repeating the chorus over and over again until I found peace and fell asleep..(napagod magpigil ng iyak..hehe)

And when I woke up, the sadness was still there but the conviction to make it go away was stronger. So after walking Alfie, I spent the next two hours redoing our Christmas decoration, and when I was ready, I went up and cried out to God in prayer. I said sorry for thinking and feeling that way, then I verbalized what happened to Micah.

Right now as I type this, I'm feeling better, no longer with the urge to cry, but fervently praying for God to direct me how best I should approach the situation. Thank you Lord for the peace and for your promises I can always hold on to. I still do not know what would happen on the day of the enrollment but I entrust everything to You, who have always made everything fall into place in your perfect time.

I love you:)

On a lighter note, here are two different pictures of the Christmas tree I set up. I was only testing different settings but when I saw the pictures, I felt that they somehow spoke of how I felt..from dark to light..even amidst the dark..hehe..good night!

P.S. Thank you Lord for Maam Carie who brought me to Q-Mart to snag the best Christmas decor deals!

WWJD?!

Our church, Fairview Christian Fellowship, is currently on a sermon series on the book of Ephesians entitled, "WHY CHURCH? The Calling of the Church and Its Conduct in the World."

This morning's message on Ephesians 5:1-6 was delivered through Doc Lem Marasigan entitled "Walking in Love." If there's one thing about being a Christian that I cherish the most, it is the wonder of being loved by a great God unconditionally and wholeheartedly, despite my sins and iniquities that make me so undeserving of His love. Just the thought of it never fails to touch my heart and bring me to tears, and it is this realization that I will probably never grasp why, that makes me want to love God back all the days of my life. My purpose in life- to be a good and faithful servant, is based on this love. And another thing that's based on this love is this blog (*hence the title)...hehe

It is a difficult feat, because to love him is not just to say it or feel it, but to show it by walking in love-which is to imitate Him who is LOVE. Doc Lem gave different meanings to the typical WWJD or What Would Jesus Do and I'm writing it here to remind myself to always ask these questions, or take these actions as I do my best to walk in love for His glory.

WWJD?
- What Would Jesus Decide?
- What Would Jesus Desire?
- What Would Jesus Demand of me?
- Where Would Jesus Devote His Resources?
- Who Would Jesus want me to Disciple?

Our Response: WWJD!
- Wake up With Jesus Daily!
- Worship With Jesus Daily!
- meditate on God's Word With Jesus Daily!
- Watch and pray With Jesus Daily!
- Write With Jesus Daily! (journal)
- Walk With Jesus Daily!
- Walk the Way Jesus Did!
- Work/study With Jesus Daily!
- Wait With Jesus Diligently!
- Withdraw With Jesus Deliberately! (retreat...I hope to execute my plans for this during the semestral break:)
- War With Jesus Daily! (against the world, Satan, and self)

This also fits my current reflection on John 21:15-17 where Jesus asked Peter three (3) times, "Do you love me?" I saw it as Jesus, vindicating Peter from his sin and guilt when he denied Him (Jesus) three times in the past when He was being persecuted. But on Peter's part, I think it was Jesus' way of making Peter realize how deeply He loved Jesus, and how he has been transformed from a follower, to a true lover of Jesus. Jesus further showed us the model by which we can show Him our love- by being true and faithful in fulfilling His Great Commission.

I think it is important to take note and to always remember however, that loving God is always the first and main priority, and our ministry and service is our way of showing our love to Him. Our service should never interfere with our communion and loving relationship with God, and this is what I try to carefully avoid as I walk with Him.

Thank you Father for your extreme, overflowing, and amazing love that saved me from all my sins and gave me purpose and eternal hope for what is to come. Thank you for allowing me to grasp and experience this unfathomable love that now gives life and meaning to my existence here in this world. To live a life worthy of your calling is difficult, but each time I remember your LOVE displayed in all its limitless glory when you gave your only Son Jesus to die for the salvation of mankind, I am moved to keep on trying, not by my own might but by the power of your Holy Spirit who lives in me; never in an attempt to match your love, but always as a humble offering of my thanksgiving and love for you...naiiyak na naman ako..haha..

I love you with all I am! Thank you for the privilege of knowing and experiencing this wonderful kind of love that can only come from You!:) May you continue to transform me each day, that I may more and more be a living testimony of your love to others...

Much Looooove,

Katy