2017

2017 has been a fruitful and challenging year for me..though my life right now mostly revolves around school, it hasn't been without its share of difficulties, triumphs and new experiences.

January 2017 marked the beginning of 1st year, 2nd semester, and as I write this, I'm just waiting for the complete upload of my grades so I can proceed with the enrollment in time for the first day of classes of 2nd year, 2nd semester on Monday, January 8th. How time flies, especially now that I'm in school, when every day is about catching up, and juggling a lot of things at once. I'm actually not yet mentally ready to go back to the grind again, with still so many things I'd like to do in other areas of my life, but we do what we have to do, so here I am, trying to tick one off my to-do-list by trying to come up with my mandatory year-end post:)

My unforgettable milestones/achievements/challenges this year are...
(to be truthful to 'unforgettable' I'm purposefully avoiding looking at my planner and journal..haha)
- academic achievement (i'm the first year outstanding student..yay)
- my fainting incident and head injury
- our first family trip in Boracay (a separate post on that after this)
- 2nd year, 1st sem (all of it)
- my CPC and Quiz bee experience

I'm looking at my list now and I realize that those experiences that I found really difficult for me were the ones that made it to the list (except for the family trip in Boracay..haha). They all ended in triumph, only by the grace of my Lord Jesus, but they weren't easy victories, and maybe that's why they left their mark. Looking at my list now also made me realize that 2017 was about struggling with a lot of things with myself. Because 2nd year was difficult, striking the balance to maintain the other areas of my life also became more difficult. One or the other has to suffer, and it is just now that I remember not including Papa's 60th birthday in my list...maybe because I've been trying to forget that I wasn't there because I had to prioritize an exam.

I have also not been a faithful servant. My daily devotion and prayer time was still there..but just still there. I grieve about how the time had to be cut short, and how the quality also suffered because I was distracted with a lot of things. My failure to fully give up my sinful habits did not help, and to sum it all up I don't think I've become a better version of myself this year.

But I'm still here, and the Lord has given me another year. And for each day that I get to try again, I am grateful. I'm even more grateful that my Lord doesn't look at me the way I look at myself. Each time I pray, I look into His eyes and His heart through His Word and all I see is love..His love giving me hope, peace, and gently nudging me to press on, because even though I can't do it on my own, He assures me that I won't be alone. He's always with me, always going before me, and always helping me get back up each time I fall.

This 2018 Lord, I want to be better for your glory. And so let me begin by resolving to seek joy and satisfaction in being in your presence. Would you help me simplify my mind once again, investing time and energy on the things that truly matter, with less of the distractions? You think I should go back to journaling? I'll do that too:) I also resolve to make use of my time wisely, and to make myself more accountable to you and to the people you surround me with.

I'm anticipating it will be difficult, but your joy is my strength. So in advance, thank you for a victorious 2018! 

Love,

Katy

 


 

When God Has A Different Answer

It’s a sad day today. No, nothing happened to me or to anyone in my family, but my heart goes out to those who did not make it to the outright passed list in all of our subjects.

We finished all the exams last Saturday, and it’s now waiting time, which for me is no less difficult than knowing the results, because no matter how bad the news is, at least you already have a clear course of action.

I was just in the same situation last Thursday. I was in limbo, because I was praying hard to be exempted for an exam, yet I also know that I was praying for a miracle because realistically speaking, my scores in one area won’t make it, even if I got high scores in the two major exams. I reasoned that God is never short of miracles, but as I prayed, I felt that He was already preparing my heart to receive another miracle, not the one I was asking for.

I sought for His saving grace, but He was bent on giving me something better, his sustaining grace. It was the fifth day of exams and I was tired so I was really praying for a reprieve, especially because I knew that the final exams would be the most difficult. But as I prayed and read God’s Word, he reminded me that His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor 12:9). I wanted the easy way out, but the Lord, in His great wisdom, had better plans. Yet I was also so sure, that if he would make me take the exams, He would also graciously provide me with the strength to overcome and emerge victorious, not because I was good, but because I surrendered and relied on Him. To God be all the glory!

So I say thank you Lord for always answering my prayers. I know that if you had allowed me to be exempted, I would praise you as well, but it just so happened that you had a different lesson to teach me this time. I will still pray to be exempted next semester. I hope to do better, but I also thank you for enabling me to give my best this semester. I know I have, given the circumstances and conflicting priorities at times. I had my share of failures as well, but you never left me and you always helped me to get back on track each time I asked for forgiveness.

I thank you that although I’m also waiting for the results, it’s not to check whether I passed or not but whether I would be able to maintain my scholarship. And in that area, I can never thank you enough because I also know that no matter what happens, you will provide for me and my family.

And so I pray for you to speak of the same reassurance and peace to all my classmates who are troubled right now. I pray that they would know of your saving grace, power, and unending love, that they may also experience the peace that surpasses all understanding, but which can only come from you. 

I know that you are in charge. Let your will be done Lord! 

Sweet

I woke up this early morning (2 AM) to attempt to review for an exam tomorrow because I wasn’t feeling well last night; but the Lord is so sweet, I woke up to the news that there will be no classes tomorrow because of the bad weather.

Thank you Lord! My throat still hurts and I’m still not feeling okay but I’m so happy for this answered prayer. I didn’t even ask for it fervently, because I know that many of my batchmates are against the suspension of classes, also for valid reasons. But it was according to Your will, so it happened. And your will is always good and perfect, and I say this because it is true. Suppose it turned out differently, I know that it is for the best if you allowed it to happen.

But I’ll still try to review though no pressure now:). Thank you Lord!