Mermaid out, Casual me in:)

I reviewed my recent blog posts today and i realized that what i wrote about my latest profile picture seemed like coming from an insecure version of me. I'm chubby, not really fat according to others, but i'm at ease with my plump, huggable body:)..i guess what i really didn't like about that picture was the fact that i was wearing clothes i really weren't proud of, not because they were makeshift but because they weren't really my style..so i'm uploading a new picture today, a more casual, simple version of myself that's so much more closer to the usual me, just in my shirt, with my smile, but more me:)

but i won't say goodbye to my mermaid stint forever, i'l keep a copy and post it here. After all, this is still me, though you would probably never see me again this way:)

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience

 Our pastor talked about the fruits of the Holy Spirit this morning and she tackled on the first four for this week, which are love, joy, peace and patience

Love-
As i was listening to her as she talked about agape/unconditional love, loving the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength; and loving my neighbor as i love myself, different scenarios i've experienced in the hospital all came to my head and i remembered why i love my job- it gives me an opportunity to work and care for others at the same time. I need not think about extraordinary ways of showing love for my neighbor because doing my job honestly and sincerely would be just that. there are times however that stress come in the way of love but what keeps me grounded is the thought that if i were in my patients' place, i would want to be treated the same way. sabi nga sa habang may buhay ni judy ann, 'walang silbi ang buhay kung hindi nagmamahal', or something like that..haha..but really, i can't imagine myself doing the things i do, juggling work with my responsibilities at home, in the church, plus having to deal with other personal concerns, without love- for my work, for my family, for God, and for myself. i used to feel that i have so much love to give, but now i realize that it really isn't that much, but with Christ in my heart, who is LOVE Himself, i'm able to generate enough to love to be shared to others each day of my life. I only pray that they are worth it, although i know that i need not think about that if it's unconditional.

However, talking about a different kind of love, i really like the lyrics of madonna's song which goes this way: " Don't go for second best, baby
Put your love to the test, you know, you know you got to make him express how he feels
And maybe then you'll know your love is real
....this song says much about how i feel right now i wish i could sing it out loud to this person:(

back to today's lessons
Joy- love would come first before joy, but there are others who love but don't seem to have joy in loving at all, whether it's for a person, or something that they do. i actually know of a friend who, no doubt, loves God but has lost joy in serving Him and being in fellowship with His people. I'm not really sure about what she's experiencing right now but she appears to me as doing things out of responsibility, not out of willingness and sincerity that comes from enjoying what you do. Without joy, we are no longer human beings, but just plain human doings driven by routines and tasks that have no personal meaning, and thus, bring us no fulfillment at all. Love would make you do things, and probably push you to keep on doing them, but joy would make you do it willingly, excellently, and with purpose:)

Peace- peace doesn't come from the absence of problems or worries because if that's the prerequisite then it would probably never happen. For me, it comes from encountering whatever circumstance in your life, yet with the faith that a Supreme being is watching over you, to help you and guide you, and that whatever problem you are experiencing, you have that contentment and trust that everything will always, always be more than alright in the end. Like freedom, i believe that peace is not absolute, it's a choice you make together with trusting and believing in the power, goodness, and greatness of your God, in your life.

Patience- this is something i used to believe i had, until i had my stress and irritation-related outbursts. i don't think it's immediately there, or not there, in a person's nature and i hope to develop it day by day, as i learn to examine my feelings more in relation to the situation of others, and to not immediately judge them, instead, to try to understand them more.

Father God i know i lack all these, probably in varying degrees, but i pray that you will fill my heart with love, joy, peace and patience each second of my life, that i may share it with others, and that i may let your light shine in my life as i become a blessing to them. Let your Holy Spirit guide me, my mouth, my hand, my conscience, my mind, my heart and my entire being, and let everything i do, give glory to your name. I love you so much Lord, may you always give me enough love to share, so everyone may know how wonderful it is to love a great and awesome God like you. I bring back all the glory and praise in the sweetest name of our Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

A 'Shot' at being a mermaid

I posted a new profile picture today, one of the very few private pictures I'm proud of, but not proud enough to show it to others..haha..now I have another reason for not telling anyone about this blog...but i posted it, so deep inside i guess i'm hoping someone important would see it..it was a creative picture i did a few months after graduation..i really had no idea on what theme i would want to portray so i let the stylist and make-up artist play with me and it's what came out..it isn't really a mermaid inspired picture but somehow, i feel like a mermaid whenever i look at myself in that picture and i really love it! i cropped it however, because my body isn't really fun to look at and i don't think it was in the right proportion with my face:)