Hello...test..

Helloooo!

It's been a long time...I didn't even get to write a 2015 year-end post...huhu...but I've been doing great with my daily Bible reading and journaling (Praise God!) which I started at the beginning of 2016 so all is well:)

I'm getting closer and closer to my dream of becoming a doctor and as the Lord wills it, I would officially shift from a nurse to a full-time student come July or August. I've narrowed down my choices to two medical schools and now that I've finally submitted all the requirements, I leave everything to God.

I hope to come up with a record of my thoughts on our recently concluded sermon series "Because God is Sovereign", and this is just me, trying to remember how writing this way feels again..

I have so maaany thoughts..hehe..and I promise I will put them down soon before I lose them...

I know I'm not making much sense but this is me exercising in preparation to making much sense soon..so help me Lord!

Thoughts on Psalm 84

This morning, I had fresh insights as I read Psalm 84 so let me put them down into writing before they slip off my mind..hehe

I've always considered it as the psalm where the song "Blessed" by Hillsong was based, and usually focused on v. 4 and v. 10, which declare that blessed are those who dwell in the house of the Lord. In connection to this, I've usually related the house of the Lord to the church and the physical building.

But as I read the entire psalm this morning and prayed it as my own, I realized that more than dwelling in the house of the Lord here on earth, my soul was longing to be with the Lord in His eternal dwelling place, in heaven. As I proclaimed v. 1 and v. 2, I knew I was longing and hoping for something more.

And then I came to v. 5 which says

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

Then I realized that Psalm 84 is my prayer, and the prayer of many other Christians who have set their eyes on the eternal, and have understood that our life here on earth is a journey towards something far greater, as great as being with God.

It is a prayer of those who depend on God for strength to live each day towards God's direction; because we all know it is not easy. But we do our best with the grace of God, because there's no place we'd rather be but with Him. I actually share the sentiments of the psalmist in v. 10 when he said 'I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked'; because I know I'm not the best Christian there is. I lack and fail in so many aspects and disciplines including discipling others; but I keep on trying anyway, if it would please my Master enough for Him to let me enter. I would accept any role He would give me in heaven if only I can be with Him, because being with Him is more than enough. (I say this with a prayer as I guard my heart, that the Lord will keep me grounded, gracious and humble until He comes)

As we press on, we are given an assurance in v. 11 and 12 which says

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor;

no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.

O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Thank you Lord:)

Praise and Worship 30-day Devo Challenge on Psalms Day 1

Last Sunday I was given this sheet of paper as part of the Praise and Worship team in our church. I looked at it and I figured, this would be easy so I immediately wrote my name and signed on the response form then handed it over to our band leader.

Three days later, I still haven't written anything on my journal. I read Psalm 1 yesterday but was too tired to write my insights. I'm currently down with pharyngitis (sore throat, body malaise) so I begged off work today. I've been sleeping since early last night and I've been itching to start on this so here I am, finally...Thank you Lord for this opportunity to just rest, lie down, and finally get started on this devo challenge.

Now on to business...

Apple tree image copied from this site

Psalm 1

1 Blessed is the one

who does not walk in step with the wicked

or stand in the way that sinners take

or sit in the company of mockers,

2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,

and who meditates on his law day and night.

3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither—

whatever they do prospers.

4 Not so the wicked!

They are like chaff

that the wind blows away.

5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,

nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

6 For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,

but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

Psalm 1 is not only a fitting introduction to the entire book but to this challenge as well, as it reminds us to delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on His Word day and night. I have failed in this big time and have not been faithful in consciously allotting time for devotion. Many times I've substituted reading the Word with other Christian books but in my heart I knew that my soul is longing for God to speak to me purely without any distractions through His raw Word. Even worse, there were many times that I rejected time with Him altogether, desiring other things that seemingly gave me relief from all my responsibilities at work, in the church and to my family. 

The man who delights in the law is contrasted with one who walks in the step of the wicked or stands in the way that sinners take. I understand this by experience because it is during my weak and failing times in meditating God's Word that I'm also weakest against the sins and addictions I've been trying to overcome in my life. 

But a person who meditates the law is likened to a tree that yields its fruit in season, and whose leaf does not wither. I've been taught to seek God even more intently in times of weakness and tiredness, only to find myself doing exactly the opposite. Like many others, I get disheartened when I don't get to see the fruits of my labor - in myself, in the people I disciple, and in the ministry. But here I am, inspired to persevere and to keep on laboring in the Word, with the reminder that the fruit will not always be present, but it will appear in its perfect time and season. And while the fruit will not always be there, there will always be leaves that will not wither, and they should be enough for me to press on. God further promised, 'whatever they do prospers...for He watches over the way of the righteous'.

I am far from righteous but I belong to the group that consistently tries to be one. Ang kapal na ng mukha ko actually, asking for forgiveness from God each time I fail (which happens often), getting back up praying and hoping that I'll be stronger to resist temptation next time, with His grace, and powered by the strength that comes from Him. 

But despite my failures and limitations, the Lord has been faithful in blessing me tremendously, truly more than I have asked or ever imagined. By the end of this month I'll be awarded as Most Outstanding Nurse 2014 in our institution. It is a privilege that fills my heart so, because it is a validation of the passion and perseverance I've been putting in my work which I also consider as my ministry.

I am thankful to all the people who have helped me, and to my leaders who have supported me and pushed me beyond my abilities. But as I receive the award, I hope to give glory to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who gives me extraordinary strength each day, and who inspires me to always give my very best for He deserves nothing less. 

Father, may you continue to grant me the grace to strive to be righteous, holy and pleasing unto thy sight. It is my prayer that when you look at me, you would not see anything that would make you turn away. Help me live by what your son Jesus has done for me on the cross more than 2000 years ago. And by your Spirit, may I have the strength to overcome all challenges and emerge victorious in Your Name.

Thank you and I love you,

Katy

P.S. If it is according to your will to skip the normal disease process..hehe.., please heal me already please. I want to go back to my normal self again. But if this is your way of telling me to slow down and rest, then I'll be glad to abide, trusting that everything (work, ministry activities on hold) will all fall into place.