Convention for those wounded in love
Published on August 21, 2010.
Promulgated by Paulo Coelho
General provisions:
A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;
B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;
It is hereby decreed that:
Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.
Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.
Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.
Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.
Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.
Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.
And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.
Haist, crushing (I mean having a crush) on somebody was never serious for me the last time I checked. I'm really a late bloomer when it comes to these things. My grade school crush was more pilit than natural; I was just pressured to have someone whose name I can write on my classmates' autographs on the line after that compulsary 'Who's your crush?' question. My biggest crush in high school wasn't a classmate or a schoolmate; it was Jude Law!!! I fell in love with him after watching Enemy at the Gates, and I remember there was one night that I failed to review for a test because I was browsing randomly through the channels when I saw his face on tv and was enamored by his cleft chin, sobrang kinilig ako I had to watch the entire movie..haha. I fell out of love just as fast though when he had this scandalous relationship with the nanny of her kids that resulted to her breakup with Sienna Miller- my high standards for character just couldn't let it pass..as if he cared..waha
My hormones were more active in college and liking the guys I saw on tv, from actors to basketball players, came so easily perhaps also because I had my new friends and dormmates to share them with. I had only one schoolmate crush, on my last year at that, on someone I hardly knew. I first saw him in one church in Baguio but he was still in high school then and he didn't appeal to me much. He was a freshman when I was in my senior year; I didn't know his name but I was contented with the feeling of wanting to smile impulsively on the rare times that I saw him. God knew that, which was maybe why I only used to see him on my few bad days- very effective stress-reliever..hahaha
Then came that period after graduation, when I almost had a chance at a relationship. It didn't push through though and I had my first lesson in love. Many months later, I'm back to crushing again:) I didn't realize it really (was in denial stage for a few weeks) until he came up to me one day and asked my name and I just couldn't stop smiling...waaah...I can't go beyond crushing on him but once again, I'm contented with this wanting-to-smile feeling that seeing him invokes in me. He's my new Jude Law, and until God shows me him who's meant to be the apple of my eye for life, my raging hormones and kilig feelings are free! But there's always a chance that it could be him....haha...why not coconut? The world is an endless sea of possibilities! And I'm excited for what could just be the biggest surprise of my life:)
Father, I'm still not praying for a partner because I'm not sure if I'm already ready for one. And I'm not gonna make a big fuss out of it or my unpredictable feelings (whether of infatuation or love) to avoid the danger of over-analyzing because in truth, I really have no idea about any of these things. I'm only sure of your love for me and that's what I'm gonna keep on holding on to in the coming months and years. Help me guard my heart and be my comfort when I feel like I'm missing something (a boyfriend..haha) in my life. And again, take away the feelings which are not from you, and help me live each day with love and contentment in my heart as you continue to prepare me for that moment of all moments:) Let's get it on! meow
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