Ready for 2012!

Today, I write again. And yes, I know my last post was just less than a month ago, but my thoughts are racing and my fingers are heavy, as if I haven't written for a long time, as if I've only been writing these past weeks out of need, but missing the intense desire in my heart and the inspiration I so had when last year began.

 I've been busy, big time, and I could not possibly prioritize this outlet of mine when I could hardly prioritize the need to get enough sleep. The impulse to whine and talk about how tired I am is so attractive, but I want to begin this year right, and I thank God that the gratefulness I feel in my heart is greater than all the stress in my system.

I look back at 2011 and try, but fail to put in concrete words how it has all been for me. It's been a year of many changes, milestones, and breakthroughs like other years; but it was also a year of sailing through life's possibilities, with a destination in mind that I wasn't supposed to reach just yet. Instead I found myself drifting toward many different islands, doubtful, at times reluctant, but always grateful for the opportunity to explore, to learn, to discover.

But not everyday was an "I'm ready for adventure! day". There had been moments, many of them, when I got disheartened and overwhelmed with doubts, unanswered questions, and even regrets. I also had many fears, that of 'settling' included, unsure anymore if I was really where I was supposed, and want to be.

But God is faithful. And I welcome such moments of weakness and helplessness because it's in those times that His overflowing grace manifests most in my life. He stills me with his greatness, and eats my worries away with his immutability, reminding me each time that He is the captain of my ship, that He knows where to lead me, that He is in control, that everything happens for a reason, that He never wavers in his promises, that He loves me very much, and that He only has the best in store for me.

And so with a grateful heart, I bid 2011 goodbye, with the certainty that I am a better person than I was last year; and what I hold now is not just a maturity that one is expected to acquire with time, but that which has been honed with a blend of knowledge and experience God has abundantly thrown my way. I also have a lot of memorable people to thank, and I'm sorry if I'm no longer as thoughtful as I used to be, letting you know how grateful I am to and for YOU. But YOU are all in my prayers, and while I'm now more of an 'I'll contact you if I need to tell/ask you something' kind of girl, I hope you know that you can just do the same to me and I'll be more than happy to help or just get in touch:)

It's too bad I failed to maintain my journal for 2011. I would have wanted to make a summary of all the major things I've learned. I definitely have a deeper understanding of patience, kindness, generosity, gratefulness and love now; I know more of my loved ones, myself, and my God; and I am more at peace with who I am.

This 2012, I know that with God still at my life's helm, things could only get better. It ended and began with good news for me in terms of my career and I'm so excited with the changes that could happen in my life. I am expectant, but still grateful to be where I am now, so I'll just continue to strive hard to reach all my dreams while allowing myself to be led by God-wherever He thinks I'll grow best.

God granted all the things I've prayed for last year so I'm so excited with my prayer requests for this year. I'm also looking forward to many good news-es...haha for me, for the people I love, and for our country. One of my favorite bloggers, Patty Laurel, also got engaged at New Year's Eve and I'm so happy for her because I somehow felt and prayed for her when times were tough in her life early last year. The new tourism slogan 'It's more fun in the Philippines' is very promising and I pray that even with the calamities that recently hit our country, we would all continue to hope and work for the best for ourselves, for our fellowmen, and for our beloved Philippines.

I'll be writing and keeping my faith goals so I could look at them when the year ends. And no, I'm not ready to add true love on the list just yet..haha.. My prayer is still for God to prepare me and my life partner (whoever he is) for each other; anyway, I'm confident that when it's time, God will also put a yearning in my heart to be with him. In the meantime, I'll continue to focus on knowing and becoming a better version of myself each day for His greater glory. My 2012 Resolves include reading the Bible (completely, unfragmented) for the year, recording lessons I've learned in a journal, becoming a better nurse through continuous study and practice, learning more recipes and becoming a better cook and homemaker, managing my finances way better than I did last year, keeping in touch with old friends and becoming more open for new friends by sharing more of myself and being less cliquish...haha, participating more in my cell group, stepping up in my service of the Lord and in my leading worship in church, practicing to be an effective and inspiring disciple-maker, and being more of all the good stuff (patient, loving, understanding, selfless, etc.)

Father God I thank you for all the blessings you have, and continue to pour out in my life and my family. You know me better than anybody including myself, and you know all the deepest desires of my heart. I just lift them all up to you and entrust my life, this year, and the years to come in your loving hands that have guided and brought me to where I am now. At the core of all my desires and aspirations, may I always find you, drawing strength, courage, and guidance in my life's purpose which is to honor you in everything I do. Again, my life is yours. Though I know there would still be times (very rare times I hope) that I would want to take the wheel from you; always, remind me of this covenant, of your great saving love, and help me find my way back. Let your will be done in all the many days to come in my life, and may the love and gladness that comes from You fill my heart in great proportions at all times that I may also share it with others.

And I while I remain to be a work in progress, let your PERFECT LOVE continue to drive out all my fears.

I love you very much! And it's my honor, joy, and delight to know and serve You!

Your striving to be good and faithful servant,

Katy:)