Today marks one week after the unfortunate mishap that I had, and last night, I just broke down. I unintentionally did some of the things that should be avoided post-Epley maneuver and I felt that the vertigo was coming back so I did another Epley. School starts on Monday, and I was becoming impatient, optimistic that I would get better yet not sure when, and even more fearful that I missed something about my condition. My emotions were in a whirlwind, I couldn't sleep, I was uncomfortable with trying to sleep with my head at 45 degrees (almost sitting), and I was very afraid.
I didn't know what to do, and it was probably the Holy Spirit that made me decide out of the blue to listen to Hillsong United's Prince of Peace. And as I meditated on the lyrics, I knew I was struggling with wanting to have a control over my situation. I knew it was wrong, so in tears I asked the Lord for forgiveness, and surrendered all my fears to Jesus. I asked for His peace, and it was only after shedding much tears that I began to feel better.
And as I thanked the Lord for the freedom to come to Him even though I am not okay, He comforted me by making me realize that I need not be fully okay when I go back to school. Right now I still have that discomfort over my head though I can tolerate it. I still have bouts of positional vertigo though much less now and I can already maintain my balance. I'm not at my best, but it was as if Jesus is telling me that it's okay. He will supply what I need, not what I think I need, and I know it will be more than enough.
So in tears Lord I ask for your forgiveness. Thank you for reminding me Zechariah 4:6. My strength, my peace, my joy, and my victory is in You; therefore, I shall not want. In my weakness, help me to be patient, and comfort me when I get overwhelmed with fear.
Thank you that I got to see a doctor today. I prayed that you lead me to a good one and you did. I'm now more at ease, knowing the things I should expect and observe. You've already hastened my recovery, help me be patient while remaining dependent on You.
Than you Jesus, my Prince of Peace.
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