Glad to Fast:)

After 7 days of consecration through prayer and fasting, I'm back to using Facebook, to blogging, and most of all, to EATING! yeeey! Father God I'm very sorry if I sound so excited to eat but you know that more than a sacrifice, I consider the past 7 days as an offering to you, and an opportunity for myself to repent, to go back to You, my first love, and to know you more in my life. But you also know how excited I am to eat!..to be able to look at food without the guilt feeling, without having to shut myself in the room in prayer, asking you for self-control together with my prayers for repentance. I didn't have a record of the first time I fasted for roughly a week too back in college so I want to keep a record of the recent 7 days in this blog. In comparison with the previous times I fasted, I can say that this is the most serious, most committed, and most fruitful I've done so far. Back then (college), I fasted as a member of the church; and in other instances, I fasted because I was asking for something. This time, the first reason cited is still included in my list and the second, also included but very secondary; because more than anything else, I fasted for the past 7 days (Oct 17-23) to renew my covenant with Christ, to undergo the process of repentance and revival day by day, not really asking for anything, but more hoping that I would be able to offer something to God- something worthy, something striving to be holy, something I could give whole-heartedly and most of all, something that is not about me. It is my life, dedicated to His Kingdom and glory, that I want to give (so it is still about me) but not for my gain; instead, for God's glory. We've all been battling with pride and selfishness since we were born and I know that 7 days of devoted prayer and fasting (1 meal a day) would not be enough to achieve the change I want to attain but I want to offer God a concrete proof of my serious desire to glorify Him in my life. Eating a meal a day, with all the energies I need for the kind of work that I do was a very tough sacrifice.
I started on Sunday and it was fine. I was so excited to do it again, so hopeful and 'somehow' confident that I'd be able to go through the 7 days easily. Monday was fair. I consider it the toughest day because my stomach practically longed for anything to digest that afternoon. Thank God for self-control, I was able to relieve my hunger with rest, prayers, lots of God's Word, and sleep. I woke up late the next day and consequently, I was late for duty-my first time to be LATE for duty! I've resolved to eat just breakfast daily so you can just imagine how hungry I was, unable to eat that morning and with breakfast the previous day as my last food intake. Wala akong glucose for more than 24 hours and I was already feeling light-headed at around 10 am. With our kind of work, especially since I was assigned at the emergency room that week, I couldn't afford to have even the slightest deterioration in my level of consciousness. At around 11, I prayed to God then I decided to eat 1 hard candy, reasoning out that I wouldn't compromise the care I provide to my patients because I woke up late and wasn't able to eat. It was my fault and I should be able to make up for it without risking my work and the people I work for. Then at around lunch time, I ate the most delicious banana-chocolate bread I've ever tasted..haha! The following days went on smoothly, thank God! I ate just one meal a day, sometimes breakfast, sometimes lunch depending on the availability of time; although I wasn't really sure if I did it the way I would have wanted to because I was binge-eating, eating all the food I can contain, as if saving up for the rest of the food-less day.

  The 'consecration module' was very helpful, as it guided me in setting my daily goals and provided me with new revelation and encouragement each day. I couldn't have successfully gotten through that week if not for the strength that comes from God, and the self-control and proper attitude I've developed throughout the years, through the people and the experiences God has blessed me with. Saturday night was our culmination night and we capped off the week with  a gathering among us members of the church who fasted. There were testimonies, prayer dances, symbolic rituals, and community prayers and I was so glad to have participated with the 7 days of consecration. I realized a lot of things about myself  but it was a different experience, because instead of focusing on myself and be filled with guilt, I had the chance to focus on God's power in my life, his divine love that made me realize my mistakes, and would surely help me achieve the change I so need in my life, in my desire to walk according to His ways. Thank you Lord for FCF!

Now, weeks after those 7 wonderful days, I still am not the person I dream to be. I'm still impatient, at times selfish and proud, but I'm no longer blinded to my heart's true condition. Knowing God made me know more about myself, more in touch with my feelings, and more in control of my actions. My prayers are yet to be answered, but I know that my God will meet all my needs according His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. As for my special requests, I know they will all be answered in His perfect time. Right now, I'm happy and contented, with God's strength and guidance to help me get through each day. Father, in your hands, I entrust my entire life. I love you so much!!! and my heart is filled with so much joy, knowing you this way, and assured forever of your unconditional love! Thank you so much! Unto You be all the glory! meow