In a time of brokenness...

This May isn't just my Ate's birth month. May 2012 is also my month- of answered prayers, BIG changes, tears of joy and of sadness, successes and failures....and it's not even done yet! Here's a rundown of my May so far:

May 10- The good news I've been waiting for finally came! and I cried buckets of tears of joy in celebration, and in awe of God's goodness in my life and his faithfulness in fulfilling his promises.

May 11- Orientation/Resignation/Despedida Party at the Office

May 15- First Ward Meeting!

May 16- First official duty (10-7)

May 22- First 6-6 AM duty...my unforgettable day of failure, when I committed a BIG mistake...

Yes, I shed buckets of tears again until the next day. It was a BIG deal kind of mistake, like all the mistakes I could possibly make at work but work hard in not making them. And I am overwhelmed with guilt, but I can only be so for a moment, because tomorrow's another battle, and I can only live on the lessons of the past, so I can be a better person the next day.

More than the fear of being reprimanded, I am ashamed of myself for such a mindless mistake. And I am more ashamed that I did not give glory to God at work with what I did. But even with my soul downcast within me, I am grateful to my God for letting me know that He is greater than all my weaknesses and shortcomings. He forgives me more easily than I can forgive myself, and He sends people to encourage me, and to remind me that it's not my failures that He remembers, but my courage to rise up, with the determination to do better...and one day, to do best.

This morning I was again led  to one of my favorite passages in the Bible..

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.


Lamentations 3:22-23

Father, you know I still feel bad, and there's no point in keeping that from You, you who see everything and know my inmost being. But I am standing up, humbled by your love and grace, not by my own might but by your Spirit, that comforts me and reminds me non-stop that you are not through with me, that I am a work in progress.

In this time of brokenness, I am grateful that you are greater than my guilt. And just like in the song, I know that you are for me, that you will never forsake me in my weaknesses, and that you'll come and meet me to plant that truth yourself in my heart, to remind me of who you are- your Compassion, your Grace, your Mercy, your Love.

With blessings come challenges, and as I continue to adjust, help me Lord to do best, and to get through each day without doing any harm to anyone; for it is my heart's desire, to give glory to Your Name in everything I do. Jesus, I love you.

,Katy