To Kill A Mockingbird

Yeey! I've finally read To Kill A Mockingbird!...or a better way to put it would be I've FINALLY read To Kill a Mockingbird!!!

I can think of many reasons why I've put it off when I've been planning/wanting to read this book since last year. But I'm really not so sure what's up with me these days. Back in college, I would have just bought it if I really wanted it; nowadays, I only buy the things that I/we need and they want. At 22, turning 23 on August, I'm becoming more and more of the lola I've always been since I was small...haha. It's a lot easier for me to buy foods my loved ones enjoy than spend the money I have on myself. My love for reading never waned in as much as my desire to learn remains unquenched; but my priorities have certainly changed, and the serious business of homemaking has been on top of my list for a year now. So even though this American Literature classic is priced way lower than all the valuable ideas it offers, I still had reservations in spending Php 200 for it...yaay, I almost pitied myself there had I not remembered that I spent it on groceries..haha

But just because I wasn't willing to buy it didn't mean that I gave up on reading it. After all, I would have eventually bought it if I didn't have other options. And thank you Lord that I did! I'm no longer a student so I don't have access anymore on school libraries but Micah still is, and will be for long, so this book would surely be one of the many more books I would ask her to borrow for me. Credits go therefore to the UP-CAL Library for this wonderful reading opportunity.

It took me roughly 6 days to finish it, the duration speaking so much, again, about the changes in my life/habits. I'd like to think that my bookworm skills, honed over the years, haven't gone stale, and that I can still finish a book in 1-2 days/overnight if I mean to. But my book addiction years are certainly over (yehesss, I've matured!), and gone are the days when I would put off even my physiologic needs for the sheer pleasure of reading. A lot of things have to come first, and even certain books/materials have to be read first (my daily dose of the Word of God on top of the list of course); but that's not to say that my interest in the story isn't as high/higher than the fiction books I've read in the past, because even in the process of fragmented reading, my respect and appreciation for Atticus and my excitement in Scout, Jem, and Dill's escapades, grew more and more intense with every page.

My heroes in high school were the warriors in the many historical romance books I got 'addicted' to then. They were handsome, brave, valiant, and effortlessly romantic; also grumpy and irritable most of the time, but always vulnerable to change for the better for that one woman that would capture their heart. And now, as I'm writing this, no wonder Jude Law was my ultimate crush then...hahaha. College was a more neutral phase. I read varied kinds of books from bestsellers to local pocketbooks :) , compulsory philosophical/Philippine literature readings in school, to any reading material at home I could land my hands on. I can't think of anyone who stood out except for the symbolic characters in Jose Rizal's Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo. Then a bit radical changes happened in my life, that made fiction rare in my reading list. Before this, the last fiction I've read was The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold and that was more than a year ago already. But there is, indeed, a time for everything; and I'm so glad to have picked up To Kill a Mockingbird now. I wanted to say 'now that I can understand it better', but I'm not so sure about that. All the waiting; however, with my current desire to rediscover the classics, definitely added to my excitement in reading this book. And with the many words I've already written (haven't been inspired to write this long for a long time :), it's beyond obvious that To Kill a Mockingbird did not fail my expectations; no, it did not, not a bit :). It is rightfully worthy to be a classic in American Literature, as it will forever now be a classic on the reading list of my lifetime.

And I now have a new fictional hero in Atticus Finch. He isn't a handsome warrior who made princesses swoon, but he's a noble man of courage, respect and dignity, and he's a Christian, not just in name but in his way of life. He's a very good father as well, and he reflects the characteristics I'm now praying for in my life partner.

Here are some of my favorite lines:

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."

Atticus, on teaching his children to keep their heads together even when taunted-
"...it's not fair for you and Jem, I know that, but sometimes we have to make of the best of things, and the way we conduct ourselves when the chips are down..."

Atticus, on explaining his decision to defend Tom Robinson's case to Scout, when most of the people think that he's wrong-
"They're certainly entitled to think that, and they're entitled to full respect of their opinions, but before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience."

Atticus reprimanding Jem-
"There was no point in saying sorry if you aren't."

Atticus, when Scout asked him if he was a nigger-lover-
"I certainly am. I do my best to love everybody...I'm hard put, sometimes- baby, it's never an insult to be called what somebody thinks is a bad name. It just shows you how poor that person is, it doesn't hurt you."

Atticus, on explaining to Jem why he made her read to Mrs. Dubose, even though she's saying undesirable things to him and Scout about themselves and their father-
"I wanted you to see something about her- I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win but sometimes, you do."

And this is the line where God revealed something to me...

Atticus, talking to his brother, on his children being the object of ridicule because he's defending Tom Robinson in court-
"I just hope that Jem and Scout come to me for their answers instead of listening to the town. I hope they trust me enough..."

As I was reading it, I thought of Papa, and God, probably sharing the same sentiment as fathers...that whenever we had questions or doubts- about our family, ourselves, our/their character, our lives; they hope that we would turn to them for answers, that we trust them enough to put them first and not listen to the world with all its noise and lies to cloud our reason even before they've helped us to understand. I once was a child like Scout, and was a lot like Scout, with so many thoughts and questions in my head. I turned to my parents for some questions, but the more serious ones, those that involved my emotions and my doubts about their love, I kept to myself, and that was when my issues/demons grew and made me unhappy with myself.

Things are a lot different now, praise God.:)
I still have my demons and more questions are added daily on my list on a lot of things in this world but I know I have a friend/father in God, and I can always turn to him 24/7. He doesn't always give the answers that I want to hear right at that moment when I want to hear it, but I know that He knows what's best, and that I can trust Him to make everything perfect in His time.

Waw...thank you Lord for the new nuggets of wisdom, and for never failing to remind me of the things I have the tendency to forget sometimes. You certainly work in amazing ways! I can just look around, read a book, or listen to a friend, and in all those things and more, I can seek you and I know I'll find you. May I never forget to turn to you foremost- in all things, in every season (good or bad, happy or sad).

With ALL that said...ang dami...haha...I think I'm buying the book after all...someday...hahaha.