Issues of a Melancholic

Hello once again...

...and yes, I intentionally skipped the exclamation point to realistically portray in writing how I'm feeling right now.

I just got home from church practice for tomorrow's Sunday worship (Fairview Christian Fellowship reprezzent!) and Craig, our bassist, probably noticed how horrible I looked..hehe..that he had to ask me if I was sick..well truthfully I am tired and my body's been begging for more sleep but since I've decided to go back to school, I've somehow given up my right for precious bum/sleep time. But I'm not complaining:) I'm haggard but smiling, grateful for God's healing, for not allowing me to get seriously sick, for preserving my singing voice (naks), and for the opportunity to worship Him and serve Him.

I don't exactly know what moved me to write and where this post is heading, but this afternoon I started a devotional by John Piper. It will go on for 15 days and I am very positive that God will be teaching me a lot of things through His Word. This afternoon as I meditated on Jn 17:24, I was humbled and moved to repentance for the many recent times that I have not displayed God's glory. I am currently struggling with managing my resources but God has been faithful. I actually got promoted recently and this is indeed a reason to rejoice. However, my fears have been getting the better of me as it will still take some time before I can fully pay all the responsibilities I've put on hold. On top of that, I still have my tuition fee for the next semester to worry about..haay

But as I write them here now, Lord I pray that you would free me of all these fears, reminding me to just trust in You, who is infallible in His promises, and who has never failed me. You also know Lord how much I enjoy giving. So I pray that you would allow me to give generously without worrying about tomorrow. But in all these things I also thank you, for letting me grow in your love, teaching me to give as you have commanded, whether in wealth or in want. In this aspect I know I'm becoming a better servant, but I still have a long way to go in the fully-trusting-never-worrying aspect so please help me more on that.

Aaaand I just realized, is that what you have actually been teaching me in all these challenges? I'm usually a bright student but forgive me and please be patient with me if I've not been a fast learner. With that realization, I'll put more effort in training my mind from now on.

So I guess that's it...Thank you Lord for always listening! I love you to bits!

Your sometimes slow but
always striving servant,

Katy