Ms. Nursing

October is my new ghost month this year. The past days have truly been very FULL and stressful for me and at this point I have a lot of things running in my mind, I can hardly decide which one should I do first. Having said that, the next question I've been asking myself is, why do I still have time to write? Well this day's stressors have been too much for me to bear and this is one of the few moments that I apply the writing for sanity philosophy.

It is Nursing Department Month Celebration in our institution and aside from the usual Exhibit-CQI-Research responsibilities that make my October full, it became even fuller with my participation in the Mr. & Ms. Nursing. I was chosen forced, arm twisted to join the said pageant and represent our section. It was something I've been dreading since my transfer to the office and my fears were given life this year.

One might say that I am overreacting but here are some interesting facts about me: (1) I've never joined a pageant before; (2) I'm not the typical chick- my innate kaartehan only translates to the way I talk sometimes but judging by society's standards, I appear more as 'astig' rather than feminine; (3) I was a lola trapped in a little girl's body and now, I'm still a lola trapped in a 25-year old's body; I enjoy watching beauty pageants but I never saw myself joining one, even a puchu-puchu one, because I'm not so much into appearing beautiful and sexy then and now; (4) I hardly know how to apply decent makeup and my only makeup stash include blush-on, eyeliner, BB cream, and foundation- most of which I won from a blog giveaway; (5) I do not invest in my personal appearance that much; (6) I have poor posture (kyphotic); (7) and it really isn't just my comfort zone- I've only joined quiz bees and essay writing contests in the past...you get the point...I'm a nerd without the glasses.

I particularly do not like being in the limelight because of my appearance, lest be judged for the way I dress, walk and present myself. And that's what happened this afternoon during the Pre-pageant where all the candidates had to present their talents with their partners.

It was an entirely novel experience for me; one I would never forget, hopefully for all good reasons until the pageant on the 24th. To win would be a miracle only God can do but I'm still gonna do my best because I want to glorify God even with this experience, no matter how reluctant I am. I feel that I am being taught to obey, and true enough, I've already had a lot of lessons learned in the process.

I've been putting some effort to look good these days for the sake of the events but I hope to still be motivated to make myself presentable even after the pageant...especially now that I've learned how to apply makeup on my eyebrows..haha..I've also been training to answer compliments with a gracious 'Thank You!', instead of my usual bungisngis and denial.

I still receive negative comments about my posture and some physical features which I can no longer improve at the moment, but I know they were given out of concern. I take their points to mind but if I would not be able to do it the way they would want me to during the actual pageant, I'm sorry... but at the same time I promise that to the best of my memory and my ability, I would conquer my habits and give up my comfortable-I-don't-care-much-about-how-I-look demeanor for a day.

It won't be effective if I would do it for myself because I hate competitions in general, but I am motivated to do it for my NSO family and my relatives, if only to show that I value the support they've been giving me. An unfortunate incident happened as Carol was curling my hair this afternoon but I intend to shoulder all the expenses associated with the repair, because while it was lack of judgment on her part, it would not have happened if she had not been assisting me with the preparations. Lord I pray that you would provide me the resources to shoulder everything, and may you also bless Carol for all the voluntary help she has been giving me.

I am already counting the days until the end of the pageant. I still do not have a makeup artist but I am confident that everything will be ok. Knowing that God placed me here for a reason, I am certain that He will grant me the grace to fulfill my mission excellently and responsibly.

There, I'm feeling better now. Thank you Lord for saving me during the talent presentation awhile ago! You gave me more than I asked for and I hope I made you smile as I gave it my best shot:) Maam says it's still lacking in many parts but knowing that I did my best, Micah may be right...baka hindi na ako yun.  

Next week will be our last hurrah and I'm more than excited for October to end! But until then, and always...I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! (Phil 4:13)

P.S. Here's my makeup transformation for the day (dolled up on the left and freshness on the right, immediately after washing my face)...I don't have pictures of the event so here's the only one I got at home:)