but i won't say goodbye to my mermaid stint forever, i'l keep a copy and post it here. After all, this is still me, though you would probably never see me again this way:)
'Reading makes a full man.'(FrancisBacon)...but this read is an exception:p
Friday, July 30, 2010
Mermaid out, Casual me in:)
I reviewed my recent blog posts today and i realized that what i wrote about my latest profile picture seemed like coming from an insecure version of me. I'm chubby, not really fat according to others, but i'm at ease with my plump, huggable body:)..i guess what i really didn't like about that picture was the fact that i was wearing clothes i really weren't proud of, not because they were makeshift but because they weren't really my style..so i'm uploading a new picture today, a more casual, simple version of myself that's so much more closer to the usual me, just in my shirt, with my smile, but more me:)
but i won't say goodbye to my mermaid stint forever, i'l keep a copy and post it here. After all, this is still me, though you would probably never see me again this way:)
but i won't say goodbye to my mermaid stint forever, i'l keep a copy and post it here. After all, this is still me, though you would probably never see me again this way:)
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Love, Joy, Peace, Patience
Our pastor talked about the fruits of the Holy Spirit this morning and she tackled on the first four for this week, which are love, joy, peace and patience
Love-
As i was listening to her as she talked about agape/unconditional love, loving the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength; and loving my neighbor as i love myself, different scenarios i've experienced in the hospital all came to my head and i remembered why i love my job- it gives me an opportunity to work and care for others at the same time. I need not think about extraordinary ways of showing love for my neighbor because doing my job honestly and sincerely would be just that. there are times however that stress come in the way of love but what keeps me grounded is the thought that if i were in my patients' place, i would want to be treated the same way. sabi nga sa habang may buhay ni judy ann, 'walang silbi ang buhay kung hindi nagmamahal', or something like that..haha..but really, i can't imagine myself doing the things i do, juggling work with my responsibilities at home, in the church, plus having to deal with other personal concerns, without love- for my work, for my family, for God, and for myself. i used to feel that i have so much love to give, but now i realize that it really isn't that much, but with Christ in my heart, who is LOVE Himself, i'm able to generate enough to love to be shared to others each day of my life. I only pray that they are worth it, although i know that i need not think about that if it's unconditional.
However, talking about a different kind of love, i really like the lyrics of madonna's song which goes this way: " Don't go for second best, baby
Put your love to the test, you know, you know you got to make him express how he feels
And maybe then you'll know your love is real
....this song says much about how i feel right now i wish i could sing it out loud to this person:(
back to today's lessons
Joy- love would come first before joy, but there are others who love but don't seem to have joy in loving at all, whether it's for a person, or something that they do. i actually know of a friend who, no doubt, loves God but has lost joy in serving Him and being in fellowship with His people. I'm not really sure about what she's experiencing right now but she appears to me as doing things out of responsibility, not out of willingness and sincerity that comes from enjoying what you do. Without joy, we are no longer human beings, but just plain human doings driven by routines and tasks that have no personal meaning, and thus, bring us no fulfillment at all. Love would make you do things, and probably push you to keep on doing them, but joy would make you do it willingly, excellently, and with purpose:)
Peace- peace doesn't come from the absence of problems or worries because if that's the prerequisite then it would probably never happen. For me, it comes from encountering whatever circumstance in your life, yet with the faith that a Supreme being is watching over you, to help you and guide you, and that whatever problem you are experiencing, you have that contentment and trust that everything will always, always be more than alright in the end. Like freedom, i believe that peace is not absolute, it's a choice you make together with trusting and believing in the power, goodness, and greatness of your God, in your life.
Patience- this is something i used to believe i had, until i had my stress and irritation-related outbursts. i don't think it's immediately there, or not there, in a person's nature and i hope to develop it day by day, as i learn to examine my feelings more in relation to the situation of others, and to not immediately judge them, instead, to try to understand them more.
Father God i know i lack all these, probably in varying degrees, but i pray that you will fill my heart with love, joy, peace and patience each second of my life, that i may share it with others, and that i may let your light shine in my life as i become a blessing to them. Let your Holy Spirit guide me, my mouth, my hand, my conscience, my mind, my heart and my entire being, and let everything i do, give glory to your name. I love you so much Lord, may you always give me enough love to share, so everyone may know how wonderful it is to love a great and awesome God like you. I bring back all the glory and praise in the sweetest name of our Lord Jesus Christ, amen.
Love-
As i was listening to her as she talked about agape/unconditional love, loving the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength; and loving my neighbor as i love myself, different scenarios i've experienced in the hospital all came to my head and i remembered why i love my job- it gives me an opportunity to work and care for others at the same time. I need not think about extraordinary ways of showing love for my neighbor because doing my job honestly and sincerely would be just that. there are times however that stress come in the way of love but what keeps me grounded is the thought that if i were in my patients' place, i would want to be treated the same way. sabi nga sa habang may buhay ni judy ann, 'walang silbi ang buhay kung hindi nagmamahal', or something like that..haha..but really, i can't imagine myself doing the things i do, juggling work with my responsibilities at home, in the church, plus having to deal with other personal concerns, without love- for my work, for my family, for God, and for myself. i used to feel that i have so much love to give, but now i realize that it really isn't that much, but with Christ in my heart, who is LOVE Himself, i'm able to generate enough to love to be shared to others each day of my life. I only pray that they are worth it, although i know that i need not think about that if it's unconditional.
However, talking about a different kind of love, i really like the lyrics of madonna's song which goes this way: " Don't go for second best, baby
Put your love to the test, you know, you know you got to make him express how he feels
And maybe then you'll know your love is real
....this song says much about how i feel right now i wish i could sing it out loud to this person:(
back to today's lessons
Joy- love would come first before joy, but there are others who love but don't seem to have joy in loving at all, whether it's for a person, or something that they do. i actually know of a friend who, no doubt, loves God but has lost joy in serving Him and being in fellowship with His people. I'm not really sure about what she's experiencing right now but she appears to me as doing things out of responsibility, not out of willingness and sincerity that comes from enjoying what you do. Without joy, we are no longer human beings, but just plain human doings driven by routines and tasks that have no personal meaning, and thus, bring us no fulfillment at all. Love would make you do things, and probably push you to keep on doing them, but joy would make you do it willingly, excellently, and with purpose:)
Peace- peace doesn't come from the absence of problems or worries because if that's the prerequisite then it would probably never happen. For me, it comes from encountering whatever circumstance in your life, yet with the faith that a Supreme being is watching over you, to help you and guide you, and that whatever problem you are experiencing, you have that contentment and trust that everything will always, always be more than alright in the end. Like freedom, i believe that peace is not absolute, it's a choice you make together with trusting and believing in the power, goodness, and greatness of your God, in your life.
Patience- this is something i used to believe i had, until i had my stress and irritation-related outbursts. i don't think it's immediately there, or not there, in a person's nature and i hope to develop it day by day, as i learn to examine my feelings more in relation to the situation of others, and to not immediately judge them, instead, to try to understand them more.
Father God i know i lack all these, probably in varying degrees, but i pray that you will fill my heart with love, joy, peace and patience each second of my life, that i may share it with others, and that i may let your light shine in my life as i become a blessing to them. Let your Holy Spirit guide me, my mouth, my hand, my conscience, my mind, my heart and my entire being, and let everything i do, give glory to your name. I love you so much Lord, may you always give me enough love to share, so everyone may know how wonderful it is to love a great and awesome God like you. I bring back all the glory and praise in the sweetest name of our Lord Jesus Christ, amen.
A 'Shot' at being a mermaid
I posted a new profile picture today, one of the very few private pictures I'm proud of, but not proud enough to show it to others..haha..now I have another reason for not telling anyone about this blog...but i posted it, so deep inside i guess i'm hoping someone important would see it..it was a creative picture i did a few months after graduation..i really had no idea on what theme i would want to portray so i let the stylist and make-up artist play with me and it's what came out..it isn't really a mermaid inspired picture but somehow, i feel like a mermaid whenever i look at myself in that picture and i really love it! i cropped it however, because my body isn't really fun to look at and i don't think it was in the right proportion with my face:)
Sunday, July 18, 2010
When I Grow up, I want to be...
Being stuck with endless trainings, 6 jobless months after passing the board, made me reflect on why I decided to be a nurse in the first place. I remember back when I was a child, I was already having a hard time deciding on what i want to become when I grow up. That space for ambition in life in my friends' slumbooks always gave me a hard time..haha...I really had no idea then, and being the fickle-minded and ambivalent, yet bright little girl I was:), I just wrote whatever interested me the most at that very moment. I wanted to be a teacher in one, a lawyer in another, a doctor, an engineer, etc. It was still, after all, wasn't such a big issue at that time. It was when I was about to enter 4th year high school when having no specific career path really gave me the worst headache. Nursing was apparently the most popular choice at that time but although i don't really know what i want to become, being a nurse wasn't among my choices. I was having a battle with myself, torn between wanting to obey my parents, and obeying my own self. I remember, when I qualified for a top university in Manila that doesn't offer nursing, I cried, not out of joy, but out of despair. My turning point in that difficult stage of my life was when papa told me, "mawawalan ako ng ganang magpa-aral kung hindi nursing ang kukunin mo." kumusta naman di ba? I can just imagine how guilty he would feel once he reads this..haha...but on a more blame-it-on-myself-not-on-others level, what really made me decide to obey my parents was the fact that aside from wanting to study where my ate angel is, regardless of the course:), i really had no idea on WHAT i wanted to be. So there, i took up nursing and it later turned out, it was the right one for me, i think:) The first few years were easy. I wasn't really proud of my course, but i enjoyed the basic subjects, the environment in baguio, the university, my new friends, my first taste of independence, my first taste of a lot of things in general. The adjustment had been pretty easy, with the help of my relatives and friends, and although my immediate family wasn't physically there to support me (as mama was already sick at that time and they were already staying in manila), they never forgot to keep the lines of communication open.
When I learned that mama had lung cancer, stage IV, that was when I finally came to terms with myself that I really made the right decision, that it was all part of God's plan, so I could be with my youngest sister even just during weekends. Mama wanted me to transfer to a local college to really be with papa and micah while she stays in manila for treatment, but i really cried my heart out to them, firmly said no, and sought the help of my ate angel to convince our parents that asking me to transfer would be too much. I realize now, if i hadn't really wanted nursing, i would've done the same thing, but i meekly obeyed so i probably had considered it then subconsciously.
The final two years of my college education had been physically and mentally demanding, and totally resource-draining, but they were also among the happiest, most productive years of my life. Now I can truly say that I love what I do, because i surely couldn't have survived it, and excelled among all others if i didn't enjoy what i was doing. The things we do, combined with the pressure, the unexpected medical emergencies, the variety of people we deal with, the innumerable cases we handle varying in complexity-everything about the job is enough reason for burn-out. But if only for the simplest thank-you's, the smiles, the praises, and the im-not-supposed-to-accept favors from the many people whose live's i've touched in the practice of my profession, i can now say that if i could go back to that difficult time when i didn't know what course to choose, i would still take up nursing, in obedience to my parents, and to myself as well:). by the way, as a student nurse, i've accepted many favors from my patients, all in the form of food such as biscuits, pastries, baked goodies and the best so far had been 1 bilaong pansit palabok, 3 1.5 L coke, and 1 goldilocks mocha roll. They even gave me an instruction that i could share the pansit and coke to my friends, but i should keep the cake all to myself...haha...i will never forget lolo c______n and his family and they, together with all my other patients, are always in my prayers.
If you have taken note of my choice of words, i've been referring to my career path as WHAT i want to become, not WHO i want to become. i prefer to reserve the term WHO to my most intimate hopes, dreams and wishes for myself and they are to be the ff.:
1.) a homemaker- i've always been a home buddy and i enjoy the things my mother, being the lady of the house, used to do when she was still alive. i'm not talking about the 'housework' as in cleaning, washing, ironing clothes, etc..we consider ourselves fortunate, having had household help since we were kids, although mama made sure that we always do our share in all the house work. I'm talking about running the household in general, turning it to a home and keeping it as such- and that includes decorating the house, keeping it fresh and beautiful, maintaining a garden perhaps, making sure that we have all our essentials available, etc. This is actually a revision of my previous dream to become a housewife:). Not only does it sound better, but it's also more generic, since you have to have a husband to be a housewife, and just a home and a family to be a homemaker:p.
2) a chef- i really really enjoy cooking though it doesn't seem so on my rare:) lazy days...cooking shows are among my most watched shows on tv; and although i know i have to take up culinary seriously to be a chef (which i can't prioritize at the moment), it's enough for me to be a great cook, able to create dishes of wide variety, from the basic to complex viands, to pastas, baked goodies, soups and desserts. all of us in our family love to eat, whether fastfood or fine dining. Papa doesn't always give us what we want, but when it comes to food, he allows us to indulge from time to time, maybe that's why food is so important for us siblings. we actually equate it with celebrations, and sometimes use eating to reduce stress or simply make ourselves happy:)..when i finally become the great cook i want to be, our family will never run out of delicious foods to share and eat together, i promise:)
3) a pianist- i would've wanted to become a virtuoso but that's way too unrealistic, especially for someone like me who doesn't know how to play a single instrument, so to be a pianist, a very good one, would be fine:). i promised myself that i would learn how to play the piano before i get pregnant but in case i'm destined to be single, i would still want to be a very good pianist. It's my favorite musical instrument and i find it relaxing to play with those keys while at the same time make good music. i actually imagine singing and playing the piano at my sister's and friend's wedding, and sometimes, i also imagine playing it at my own wedding:)
4) a bookstore owner- reading is probably my best hobby especially as opposed to playing computer games and watching tv :p..and after watching the movie you've got mail when i was so much younger, i started dreaming of owning a bookstore someday, although a book collection at home would also be great! the National Bookstore (pls forward payment for the ad to...:) was my comfort zone in my college days...i felt close to heaven, just being there, choosing among a wide variety of books and school supplies, which is the same feeling i get in a grocery or furniture store..haha..unessential school supplies, especially all kinds of tapes (scotch tape, magic tape, masking tape, double tape, etc.), are one of the few luxuries i allow for myself, so having a bookstore of my own would probably feel 10 times closer to heaven:)
5) a painter- i used to think i was created left-handed for nothing (art-wise) until i was forced to paint for two high school projects. i'm not good at drawing but i'm better in decorating, mixing colors and creating designs and it truly showed in the two paintings i have created. they were both good so my self-esteem in terms of being an artist really skyrocketed to the highest level, enough to keep myself dreaming that i could be a great painter someday, not really to make a living out of it but to just create masterpieces i can proudly hang at home.
Other dreams of mine would be to travel the Philippines and world with my family, and see the beauty of God's creation in different ways. Apparently, i'm not really an adventurous person, even my dreams are just simple, reflective of the child and woman in me. They're all achievable and i intend to make them all happen, with God's help in whom all things are possible:) God bless me and my dreams!
When I learned that mama had lung cancer, stage IV, that was when I finally came to terms with myself that I really made the right decision, that it was all part of God's plan, so I could be with my youngest sister even just during weekends. Mama wanted me to transfer to a local college to really be with papa and micah while she stays in manila for treatment, but i really cried my heart out to them, firmly said no, and sought the help of my ate angel to convince our parents that asking me to transfer would be too much. I realize now, if i hadn't really wanted nursing, i would've done the same thing, but i meekly obeyed so i probably had considered it then subconsciously.
The final two years of my college education had been physically and mentally demanding, and totally resource-draining, but they were also among the happiest, most productive years of my life. Now I can truly say that I love what I do, because i surely couldn't have survived it, and excelled among all others if i didn't enjoy what i was doing. The things we do, combined with the pressure, the unexpected medical emergencies, the variety of people we deal with, the innumerable cases we handle varying in complexity-everything about the job is enough reason for burn-out. But if only for the simplest thank-you's, the smiles, the praises, and the im-not-supposed-to-accept favors from the many people whose live's i've touched in the practice of my profession, i can now say that if i could go back to that difficult time when i didn't know what course to choose, i would still take up nursing, in obedience to my parents, and to myself as well:). by the way, as a student nurse, i've accepted many favors from my patients, all in the form of food such as biscuits, pastries, baked goodies and the best so far had been 1 bilaong pansit palabok, 3 1.5 L coke, and 1 goldilocks mocha roll. They even gave me an instruction that i could share the pansit and coke to my friends, but i should keep the cake all to myself...haha...i will never forget lolo c______n and his family and they, together with all my other patients, are always in my prayers.
If you have taken note of my choice of words, i've been referring to my career path as WHAT i want to become, not WHO i want to become. i prefer to reserve the term WHO to my most intimate hopes, dreams and wishes for myself and they are to be the ff.:
1.) a homemaker- i've always been a home buddy and i enjoy the things my mother, being the lady of the house, used to do when she was still alive. i'm not talking about the 'housework' as in cleaning, washing, ironing clothes, etc..we consider ourselves fortunate, having had household help since we were kids, although mama made sure that we always do our share in all the house work. I'm talking about running the household in general, turning it to a home and keeping it as such- and that includes decorating the house, keeping it fresh and beautiful, maintaining a garden perhaps, making sure that we have all our essentials available, etc. This is actually a revision of my previous dream to become a housewife:). Not only does it sound better, but it's also more generic, since you have to have a husband to be a housewife, and just a home and a family to be a homemaker:p.
2) a chef- i really really enjoy cooking though it doesn't seem so on my rare:) lazy days...cooking shows are among my most watched shows on tv; and although i know i have to take up culinary seriously to be a chef (which i can't prioritize at the moment), it's enough for me to be a great cook, able to create dishes of wide variety, from the basic to complex viands, to pastas, baked goodies, soups and desserts. all of us in our family love to eat, whether fastfood or fine dining. Papa doesn't always give us what we want, but when it comes to food, he allows us to indulge from time to time, maybe that's why food is so important for us siblings. we actually equate it with celebrations, and sometimes use eating to reduce stress or simply make ourselves happy:)..when i finally become the great cook i want to be, our family will never run out of delicious foods to share and eat together, i promise:)
3) a pianist- i would've wanted to become a virtuoso but that's way too unrealistic, especially for someone like me who doesn't know how to play a single instrument, so to be a pianist, a very good one, would be fine:). i promised myself that i would learn how to play the piano before i get pregnant but in case i'm destined to be single, i would still want to be a very good pianist. It's my favorite musical instrument and i find it relaxing to play with those keys while at the same time make good music. i actually imagine singing and playing the piano at my sister's and friend's wedding, and sometimes, i also imagine playing it at my own wedding:)
4) a bookstore owner- reading is probably my best hobby especially as opposed to playing computer games and watching tv :p..and after watching the movie you've got mail when i was so much younger, i started dreaming of owning a bookstore someday, although a book collection at home would also be great! the National Bookstore (pls forward payment for the ad to...:) was my comfort zone in my college days...i felt close to heaven, just being there, choosing among a wide variety of books and school supplies, which is the same feeling i get in a grocery or furniture store..haha..unessential school supplies, especially all kinds of tapes (scotch tape, magic tape, masking tape, double tape, etc.), are one of the few luxuries i allow for myself, so having a bookstore of my own would probably feel 10 times closer to heaven:)
5) a painter- i used to think i was created left-handed for nothing (art-wise) until i was forced to paint for two high school projects. i'm not good at drawing but i'm better in decorating, mixing colors and creating designs and it truly showed in the two paintings i have created. they were both good so my self-esteem in terms of being an artist really skyrocketed to the highest level, enough to keep myself dreaming that i could be a great painter someday, not really to make a living out of it but to just create masterpieces i can proudly hang at home.
Other dreams of mine would be to travel the Philippines and world with my family, and see the beauty of God's creation in different ways. Apparently, i'm not really an adventurous person, even my dreams are just simple, reflective of the child and woman in me. They're all achievable and i intend to make them all happen, with God's help in whom all things are possible:) God bless me and my dreams!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Halo-halong Prayers
It's funny, or sad maybe, how just a week ago, I was writing about how excited I am for the breakthroughs in the music ministry. I didn't lead this Sunday because i was on 11-7 duty and aside from the reason that it would be very stressful for me, i really don't like singing when i haven't had adequate sleep. However, it didn't exempt me from the problems we encounter, and i really do not want to be exempted anyway. some of the problems we discussed after service were recurring problems we had since years ago. we have limited resources in the church that's why it's very important for all of us to take care of what we have at the moment. it's expected that the instruments would bug down or wear off, being used week after week, but it's sad that they are just left that way, and sometimes I feel that i'm even more concerned about having them repaired than the actual people who use them. i don't like to complain, but sometimes it's spiritually draining to realize that the people around you don't care for the church and the ministry as much as you do. i'm confident that it would, in no way, affect my personal relationship with Christ, but in terms of my participation in church activities, it's a little depressing...
Father God I pray that your divine intervention, wisdom, inspiration, and anointing be upon all of us. This is your work, and we know that it is by your power that it will flourish, regardless of the trials we encounter and our personal limitations and shortcomings. Give us all the strength to fight the good fight of faith, to keep going, aflame in loving and serving you. And send people committed to your work to aide us in leading your people and worshipping your name. We, and the resources we have now, all come and go, but your love, and I pray that our love for you will never fade. I love you so much and I entrust everything unto thy loving hands, amen.
************************
Tomorrow's a new day for me. I keep worrying that I would be late for my duty at ITRMC starting tomorrow and I know this isn't helping at all, especially according to the law of attraction...please God calm my heart and mind, and prepare me in all aspects of my being that I may do what is right in your sight at all times, and that I may be an instrument for your greater glory, as i care for patients and assist them in their healing. May I be a channel of your blessings to them, and may everything I do, give glory to your name.
*****************
I've been addicted to plants vs. zombies lately..haha..for the past days I'm actually guilty of procrastination of a lot things. God forgive me, and deliver me. I'll try my best to control myself and to be good:).
*********
I finally got in touch with a special friend whom i think about everyday. I obviously miss him so much, I'm just not sure how i could express it in a way he wouldn't misinterpret. i'm actually in the middle of a project right now and if this works, i may have a boyfriend (finally!) before the year ends..haha..but i really wanna do it right this time..he already knows that i care for him, and worse, that i love him. we were almost together, except that we both know that we couldn't really be together yet...so when we had some problems and i decided that we go back to being just friends, somehow i feel that we've broken up...and it's creepy because i answered this psychological test and it revealed that i broke up with someone because i don't think we're going where we're supposed to go..which is so true..waha! So help me God...i have no idea if i'm doing what i'm supposed to do so please guide me. i'm not in a rush, i'm more concerned on doing this right from the beginning...maramdaman ko lang po talagang siya ang will niyo for me, at mahal na mahal niya ako..i'd be the best girlfriend i can be:)
*****************
also help me establish my daily commitment to pray (as in pray long and focused) and read your Word...i also entrust my entire career into your hands...i'l go where you want me to go for i know it will be where i could be the best of who I am...but i also pray for financial success and personal fulfillment...you know the dreams my sisters and I have for our family especially for papa..help us all make it come true..and soon i hope:)...thank you so much Lord Jesus for all the blessings you've given and the big, so much more blessings to come...i love you, i love you, i love you!!! mwaah! nyt! meow:p
Father God I pray that your divine intervention, wisdom, inspiration, and anointing be upon all of us. This is your work, and we know that it is by your power that it will flourish, regardless of the trials we encounter and our personal limitations and shortcomings. Give us all the strength to fight the good fight of faith, to keep going, aflame in loving and serving you. And send people committed to your work to aide us in leading your people and worshipping your name. We, and the resources we have now, all come and go, but your love, and I pray that our love for you will never fade. I love you so much and I entrust everything unto thy loving hands, amen.
************************
Tomorrow's a new day for me. I keep worrying that I would be late for my duty at ITRMC starting tomorrow and I know this isn't helping at all, especially according to the law of attraction...please God calm my heart and mind, and prepare me in all aspects of my being that I may do what is right in your sight at all times, and that I may be an instrument for your greater glory, as i care for patients and assist them in their healing. May I be a channel of your blessings to them, and may everything I do, give glory to your name.
*****************
I've been addicted to plants vs. zombies lately..haha..for the past days I'm actually guilty of procrastination of a lot things. God forgive me, and deliver me. I'll try my best to control myself and to be good:).
*********
I finally got in touch with a special friend whom i think about everyday. I obviously miss him so much, I'm just not sure how i could express it in a way he wouldn't misinterpret. i'm actually in the middle of a project right now and if this works, i may have a boyfriend (finally!) before the year ends..haha..but i really wanna do it right this time..he already knows that i care for him, and worse, that i love him. we were almost together, except that we both know that we couldn't really be together yet...so when we had some problems and i decided that we go back to being just friends, somehow i feel that we've broken up...and it's creepy because i answered this psychological test and it revealed that i broke up with someone because i don't think we're going where we're supposed to go..which is so true..waha! So help me God...i have no idea if i'm doing what i'm supposed to do so please guide me. i'm not in a rush, i'm more concerned on doing this right from the beginning...maramdaman ko lang po talagang siya ang will niyo for me, at mahal na mahal niya ako..i'd be the best girlfriend i can be:)
*****************
also help me establish my daily commitment to pray (as in pray long and focused) and read your Word...i also entrust my entire career into your hands...i'l go where you want me to go for i know it will be where i could be the best of who I am...but i also pray for financial success and personal fulfillment...you know the dreams my sisters and I have for our family especially for papa..help us all make it come true..and soon i hope:)...thank you so much Lord Jesus for all the blessings you've given and the big, so much more blessings to come...i love you, i love you, i love you!!! mwaah! nyt! meow:p
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