*Last updated: July 13, 2011
These are my all-time favorite Christian songs and I thought of compiling them here just in case I forget about them in the future.
1. None But Jesus (Hillsong)
2. I Live, I Breathe (Jon Owens)
3. Lay It Down (Jaci Velasquez)
4. Lord of All (Jose Villanueva III)
5. One God (Citipointe)
6. It is You (Youth Alive)
7. Deeper (Planetshakers)
8. Lead me to the Cross (Hillsong)
9. Gift of Love (Hillsong)
10. All of My Days (Hillsong)
11. Complete (Parachute)
12. *I Want to Fall in Love with You (Jars of Clay)
13. Still Standing (Lakewood)
14. Made Me Glad (Hillsong)
15. I Adore (Hillsong)
16. Hosanna (Hillsong)
17. Shout to the Lord (Hillsong)
18. For Love of You (Audrey Assad)
19. Like an Avalanche (Hillsong United)
20. Bones (Hillsong United)
21. Open my Eyes (Hillsong)
...I'm still learning Open my Eyes by Hillsong at the moment. I love all genres of Christian music in general but I enjoy listening more to solemn worship songs. There are also still a lot of songs I love which aren't on the list because I only included those that deeply moved me the first time I listened to them. For the months and years to come, I hope to add a lot more songs in this list. To God be the glory! meow
July 13, 2011
I have already learned Open my Eyes and have been frequently singing it in the past months while walking on the street going to work. My current favorites, also songs I'm still learning, are Bones and Like an Avalanche from the Hillsong United Aftermath album. I actually like all the songs but these are the ones that I love most:) More songs to come! Thank you Lord for this opportunity to worship you with such wonderful songs!
'Reading makes a full man.'(FrancisBacon)...but this read is an exception:p
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
I know I've made a commitment to write about more relevant and inspirational topics, but this is still MY blog, so allow me to say that today, KINIKILIG TALAGA AKO AT PARANG SASABOG ANG PUSO KO...WAAAAH! Pero ang hindi ko talaga matanggap ay ang rason ng kaguluhang ito- its a.....BOY!
a BOY! Aaaaargh!
Everyone who knows me well or have seen me read pocketbooks or watch shows on tv knows for a fact that I'm a sucker for mush. Ultimong kahit loveteam ng bata, kilig na kilig na talaga ako. At 'pag inaatake ako ng 'sakit' ko, even the most clueless person can tell because I really can't control my smiling; it's as if my supposedly voluntary facial muscles suddenly found a life of their own, kaya 'yun, mukha akong tanga..haha...Well in fairness to me, I'm known to many for being a real-life smiley, although my smile's special inclination to mush and cheese still bothers some of the people around me. The Mara and Christian tandem (Mara Clara) is currently the apple of my eye and just seeing them on tv really brings out the best (or the worst) in me..hahaha.
S: "You're babbling again. Can't you just get to the point?"
E: "Am I really that obvious. You see, I'm trying to create a balance here by NOT talking about it, that way, it isn't nurtured, but nor is it condemned."
I: "There's nothing wrong about how you feel. Go!!! Spill!!!"
S: "Boo id. Not doing anything about it will not make it go away either. I suggest you spill the beans, so you can just let it go."
E: CRAAAAAZY!
When assessing psychotic disorders, we have this premise that people who are CRAZY do not think of themselves as such so I'm safe!:) The conversation above is a coded report of what happened between me, myself and i or my superego, my id, and my ego in my mind. Truly talaga 'yung 'my heart feels as if it would burst with overwhelming happiness:) I was that happy that it got me thinking, inlababo na ba ako? But no, the answer to that is a big and confident NOOOOOOOOoooo. Although at this point, I fear that with just one golden moment of getting to know each other, I could be in for probably the greatest surprise of my life.
So that's why I decided to write about it, aside from having no one to share it with, kaloka namang magchest pains if ever dahil sa sobrang kilig...hahaha..but seriously, this is a little bit alarming for me because I haven't felt this way since my first lesson in love. He's my crush, now that I'm certain of...medyo in denial pa kasi ako these past weeks (he's not even someone I'd call cute, chos:), pero parang ang bilis lang ng acceptance...haha...I like a lot of things about him but even citing one would be too much of a clue for this one person who might decide to read my entries out of the blue. There's nothing wrong about it really, but I guess what makes it bigger than what it truly is for me, is the reference I get from my first lesson, and the promises I made to myself in connection with that lesson. Although the situation's entirely different, I still have this feeling that if I keep on thinking about it, making a big fuss of what I felt a while ago, I would eventually nurture it into something else, something I might not be ready for. Haaaay, so many worries for someone like me who hasn't even had a boyfriend! But I guess the lack of understanding of these things is one of the culprits behind this anxiety I'm feeling.
Pero ang galing talaga, I'm ok now, yeeey! It's really just a matter of recognizing the feeling to be able to let it go:) Writing/blogging is really the best!
Weh...but who am I kidding? It isn't totally gone, relieved would probably be a more appropriate term. Actually, I've been bothered with thoughts about him popping in my mind every now and then for months now. I can't believe that a handshake, and a very short (as in 'what's your name again?' short) conversation would make my heart go ballistic all of a sudden. Ah basta, Lord you know my prayer- Take away these feelings if they're not from you. I know I can't always rely on my emotions but I'm certain that I can always rely on you. I barely know him and I'm not gonna fool myself and pray that he's the one. I think it would be great if we become friends though, with our love for you as our common denominator. But if we're meant for something greater, I leave it all up to you. But please help me lessen this kilig I'm feeling, so I can at least be comfortable making friends with him in case. Thank you so much Father! we now have another secret..haha. meow
a BOY! Aaaaargh!
Everyone who knows me well or have seen me read pocketbooks or watch shows on tv knows for a fact that I'm a sucker for mush. Ultimong kahit loveteam ng bata, kilig na kilig na talaga ako. At 'pag inaatake ako ng 'sakit' ko, even the most clueless person can tell because I really can't control my smiling; it's as if my supposedly voluntary facial muscles suddenly found a life of their own, kaya 'yun, mukha akong tanga..haha...Well in fairness to me, I'm known to many for being a real-life smiley, although my smile's special inclination to mush and cheese still bothers some of the people around me. The Mara and Christian tandem (Mara Clara) is currently the apple of my eye and just seeing them on tv really brings out the best (or the worst) in me..hahaha.
S: "You're babbling again. Can't you just get to the point?"
E: "Am I really that obvious. You see, I'm trying to create a balance here by NOT talking about it, that way, it isn't nurtured, but nor is it condemned."
I: "There's nothing wrong about how you feel. Go!!! Spill!!!"
S: "Boo id. Not doing anything about it will not make it go away either. I suggest you spill the beans, so you can just let it go."
E: CRAAAAAZY!
When assessing psychotic disorders, we have this premise that people who are CRAZY do not think of themselves as such so I'm safe!:) The conversation above is a coded report of what happened between me, myself and i or my superego, my id, and my ego in my mind. Truly talaga 'yung 'my heart feels as if it would burst with overwhelming happiness:) I was that happy that it got me thinking, inlababo na ba ako? But no, the answer to that is a big and confident NOOOOOOOOoooo. Although at this point, I fear that with just one golden moment of getting to know each other, I could be in for probably the greatest surprise of my life.
So that's why I decided to write about it, aside from having no one to share it with, kaloka namang magchest pains if ever dahil sa sobrang kilig...hahaha..but seriously, this is a little bit alarming for me because I haven't felt this way since my first lesson in love. He's my crush, now that I'm certain of...medyo in denial pa kasi ako these past weeks (he's not even someone I'd call cute, chos:), pero parang ang bilis lang ng acceptance...haha...I like a lot of things about him but even citing one would be too much of a clue for this one person who might decide to read my entries out of the blue. There's nothing wrong about it really, but I guess what makes it bigger than what it truly is for me, is the reference I get from my first lesson, and the promises I made to myself in connection with that lesson. Although the situation's entirely different, I still have this feeling that if I keep on thinking about it, making a big fuss of what I felt a while ago, I would eventually nurture it into something else, something I might not be ready for. Haaaay, so many worries for someone like me who hasn't even had a boyfriend! But I guess the lack of understanding of these things is one of the culprits behind this anxiety I'm feeling.
Pero ang galing talaga, I'm ok now, yeeey! It's really just a matter of recognizing the feeling to be able to let it go:) Writing/blogging is really the best!
Weh...but who am I kidding? It isn't totally gone, relieved would probably be a more appropriate term. Actually, I've been bothered with thoughts about him popping in my mind every now and then for months now. I can't believe that a handshake, and a very short (as in 'what's your name again?' short) conversation would make my heart go ballistic all of a sudden. Ah basta, Lord you know my prayer- Take away these feelings if they're not from you. I know I can't always rely on my emotions but I'm certain that I can always rely on you. I barely know him and I'm not gonna fool myself and pray that he's the one. I think it would be great if we become friends though, with our love for you as our common denominator. But if we're meant for something greater, I leave it all up to you. But please help me lessen this kilig I'm feeling, so I can at least be comfortable making friends with him in case. Thank you so much Father! we now have another secret..haha. meow
Friday, January 21, 2011
Rantsy-fartsy
Life isn't a paradise in a golden platter, this I thought I learned early in life, yet my actions and my expectations about the future disappoint me by making me realize that I probably expect for too much. I prayed for this job and as I did, I wasn't thinking much about the salary. My goal was to become self-sufficient and I'm about to achieve that, and hopefully more, very very soon. I'm just not sure if I should feel good or bad about myself for concerning myself about the salary. It is important, but for someone like me who's just about to venture on a first job, it really isn't that important. I can blame it on the people around me who keep on saying that I deserve more but at the end of the day, it was I, and this easily influenced mind of mine, that allowed their concerns to bug me. Father God teach my heart to be contented, to work not just for the money, but to glorify you by being of service to others. More than being self-sufficient, may my future job allow me to glorify you with my finances as well, as I trust in your abundant blessings and never failing providence and faithfulness in my life and in our family. Help me hold on to your promises, and to just be grateful each day for everything as I put Agur's prayer in my heart:
Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die; keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, "Who is the Lord?" or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.
Proverbs 30:7-9
I also love Paul's instruction to the Colossians that says:
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.
Colossians 3:23-24
...haay, keep on hoping katy, just keep on hoping and praying. Do your best, and let God, who knows best, do the rest:) meow
Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die; keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, "Who is the Lord?" or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.
Proverbs 30:7-9
I also love Paul's instruction to the Colossians that says:
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.
Colossians 3:23-24
...haay, keep on hoping katy, just keep on hoping and praying. Do your best, and let God, who knows best, do the rest:) meow
Saturday, January 15, 2011
The Blo(ah)gger in ME:)
My drafts are piling up and since I've resolved to fight! procrastination, I'm gonna start by working on the most recent one and maybe, if I keep doing this during my free time, one draft at a time, I'll be able to finish them all without me even realizing it..hahaha! The excitement sure is up for my New Year resolves, that's the way to begin katy!
************
Our Basic Skills/Post-grad training at the National Kidney and Transplant Institute ended last December 17th but we formally received our certificates of attendance and proficiency just last Friday, December 7th. I was able to complete a total of 612 contact hours out of 640 contact hours. With my superb subtraction skills, I was able to come up with a difference of 28 contact hours (wrong answer pag walang label:). Had it been an exam, sasabihin ko pang job well done, pero attendance 'to, and 28 contact hours, which translates to absences for 3 1/2 days in 4 months, is so not congruent with my record. I was only absent once, as in ONCE, in my entire 4 years and 3 summers in college and it was because I had to attend my mother's funeral. And for obvious reasons, it was an excused absence so it doesn't count.(sorry mama if I sound like I attended your funeral out of duty, i'm just trying to emphasize a point and I'm sure you understand:) Even as a child, I enjoyed school so much that being absent was torture for me. Yung tipong 'Ma--ma, pa--pa-sok---po---a-ko' with matching tears and obvious difficulty of breathing, shoulders raised and all. If I remember it correctly, it was as if Papa had to request that I miss school...aah, I'm so proud of myself..was my determination and thirst for knowledge really that intense?..haha. But seriously, it wouldn't take a degree in medicine or in any healthcare course for that matter, for any person to make a judgment that I wasn't fit for school, or for anything else other than rest. Anyone who would hear my hacking cough along with my 'I can't take it anymore' and 'I think I'm gonna die' act while I insist on going to school would either think of me as a Determined dweeb, or a Dumb martyr. And with this story comes one of the not so pleasing trivia about my life, which is that "I've never had complete attendance in any school year from nursery to high school." Yes, I'm sickly or should I say, I was sickly (ows talaga?)..oo kaya!:p..and the culprit is almost always respiratory in nature- upper or lower?, it doesn't really matter because it usually evolves to lower respiratory tract infection (LRTI) even though it only began as URTI. Which is why at a very young age, I already had the makings of a drug addict. I still didn't know that cough syrups (with codeine component) were addictive then but taking them was such a relief that I wanted to just finish the entire bottle in one seating; but thank God for Mama, for wisdom, for common sense, and for self-control:). Aside from cough syrups, I was also nebulized frequently with Ventolin, Budesonide, or a combination of both. I don't know if I'm just being too critical about myself but I really feel that my frequent exposure to steroids then, somehow affected my physical development. (I can already see Mao nodding in agreement, enumerating my Cushingoid signs, one by one..haha) But what really concerns me the most, out of all the medications I took in, were the antibiotics. If you have a healthcare-related profession, you probably know how antibiotics work. The antibiotic-bacteria interaction is like the student-teacher relationship for me. On the student's first days in school (first encounter), the normal student (bacteria) is expected to be fearful and obedient to his/her teacher (drug). Remember that stage when we used to believe in our teachers more than we believe in our parents?, that was also how easy for antibiotics to destroy and kill the bacteria in our bodies that cause disease. But it takes time, and a good teacher to do that. If the teacher doesn't enforce discipline early on in the relationship, the student will think of him/her as easygoing; hence, the student will probably treat the teacher more as a friend, than an authority to be reckoned with. In the same way, antibiotics must be conscientiously taken at least 7 days to allow it's full, and maximum effect on the bacteria to set in. Dahil ang bacteria, parang kriminal lang ba na hopeless nang magbago. You have to kill it, because when it survives, it will live to become a stronger, drug-resistant destroyer, either immune to or with new developed tactics to counter your attacks. Back to the student-teacher model, the student needs teachers who could impart more complex knowledge and information to support his/her learning needs as he/she increases in level. If the bacteria were like the students in my high school class, the antibiotic/teacher better be good because most of my classmates, well most of us actually, are very critical of our teachers- we're generous with our adoration and praises, but we can also be brutally frank if we believe we deserve someone better. High school teachers are like the 2nd generation antibiotics while college instructors stand for those in the 3rd generation in this model...gets? are you sure? because if you didn't, I still have other models in store. For you(1), you'd probably enjoy my phobia desensitization model; while a comprehensive discussion of my criminal model would perhaps enlighten you(2); and for you(3) I'd be glad to go over my slightly similar parent-child model...hahaha...but seriously, this thing about antibiotics bug me so much that I try to compensate by not taking in antibiotics now kahit feeling ko madedeads na'ko with infection. Nowadays, I usually just settle with lots of prayers, vitamins, rest, and other supportive/symptomatic treatment as needed. Although I'm confident that Mama followed the doctor's prescription and completed the entire duration of every antibiotic therapy I had since birth, I will still try to stay away from them as much as possible. (I don't wanna say this but) I'm trying to reserve the broader-spectrum antibiotics when I truly madly deeply need them, aside from wanting to give my liver and kidneys a much-needed break. Enough with 'science' (chos) and back to the real issue at hand, I really kinda' feel bad about those 28 hours; but just when I thought that that was the worst part, the jaded HR kuya, to whom I submitted my application requirements, had to rub it in, taking extra time to get a pencil and encircle those numbers for emphasis. In all fairness to me, the reasons behind those absences are all valid. I used 1 day (equivalent to 8 hours) for a job interview and rest ('cause I was sick again), and 2 days for my Basic Life Support training. The remaining 4 hours was a punishment for forgetting to punch my card out at the bundy clock. I didn't have the opportunity to explain to the jaded HR kuya what those 28 hours stood for, I just pray that my grade (one of the highest, if not the highest mark in our batch..ehem) would compensate for it. I can never boast of anything really, but I want to express my happiness and gratefulness to the Lord above for His guidance, love, and protection that made me achieve my goals. Actually, my grade, by other standards, is just average. The fact that it was among the highest (again, if not the highest...hahaha) just slightly increased its value; nevertheless, my instructors expressed their heartfelt congratulations for me so it's something, especially since many in our batch didn't meet the grade requirement to receive a certificate of proficiency at the very least. So there, Ate Friz, Mao, and I decided to cap off the day by eating out at Conti's then Red Mango at Trinoma. Even though we've only been together for roughly 4 months, I know I found friends-for-keeps in them.
I was wearing red so everyone was jokingly greeting me "happy birthday!"; but Mao and Ate Friz certainly made me feel like it was my birthday for real because I had a great and yummy afternoon-evening all expense-paid!..haha..Mao said the dinner was his belated Christmas gift, while Ate Friz is as always very generous. It was already 8 pm when we finished dessert and we all had to head home already so I didn't have the chance to return their favors. But I'll get my chance in the coming days, because it won't surely be the last of our fun random afternoon-evenings together. Thank you Lord for giving me such wonderful friends!
********
Wow, I'm quite a blahgger, am i not? I can't believe I just wrote about attendance to being sickly to medications all in one paragraph. This post has definitely gone farther than expected...though not too far I hope:)
I pray I could keep this up because it would really be great to look back one day and see how I lived my life through these posts. I love Gang Badoy's take on blogging, expressed in her keynote speech for the 2009 Phil Blog Awards, with the theme "One Blogging Nation".
"Last thought - blogging is not the ultimate verb here tonight. I know you have caught a lot of flack in the past about the seeming non-active motion bloggers take. For those who think that blogging is a minor verb, I have something to share: One cannot blog unless one goes out there. If you never got your hands dirty or walked streets, helped out, experienced heartbreak, death, birth, victory, defeat, betrayal, pain, sweat- then really- you have nothing to blog. I think it is because you live and you live well -- this is why you can blog. Someday it will be said that blogging is merely the record of 'lives well-lived.' Again, for that I am grateful."
This blog of mine, a mere account of my personal thoughts, emotions, experiences, and beliefs, will apparently not matter to society in the more important fields of science- politics, social sciences, philosophy, etc. I started this only for the sake of creating an outlet for my thoughts whenever I feel like I want to share something. I've been writing since I was very young and I thought that with blogging, only the medium would be different. But blogging is so much more than writing about how my day went or how I feel at the moment. Somehow, though I don't expect anybody to waste their time reading my blog (I haven't even told anyone about it), this experience invokes a special sense of responsibility from me knowing that there's always this chance that someone would come across one of my entries, and I might be destined to make a life-changing impact in his/her life. One of my resolves for this year include my desire to blog on more relevant and inspirational topics. I am not a celebrity so most of my stories don't interest readers much but I am a nurse, and a servant of God- surely I have thoughts that matter in those fields. But if I have 2 words to perfectly describe what blogging has done to me, it would have to be HUMBLED and GRATEFUL. Thank you Lord for your amazing grace and love, that enables me to live each day, to experience the wonders of this life, and to give you glory with my every breath. For the thoughts you allow my brain to think, the feelings and emotions I'm able to draw from the depths of my soul, my faith and the values and principles I hold on to to keep myself grounded, the experiences and opportunities that leave me in awe, the people who make a mark in my life- MY LIFE, I am humbled with your love and power, and for all these and more, I am grateful.:) meow
************
Our Basic Skills/Post-grad training at the National Kidney and Transplant Institute ended last December 17th but we formally received our certificates of attendance and proficiency just last Friday, December 7th. I was able to complete a total of 612 contact hours out of 640 contact hours. With my superb subtraction skills, I was able to come up with a difference of 28 contact hours (wrong answer pag walang label:). Had it been an exam, sasabihin ko pang job well done, pero attendance 'to, and 28 contact hours, which translates to absences for 3 1/2 days in 4 months, is so not congruent with my record. I was only absent once, as in ONCE, in my entire 4 years and 3 summers in college and it was because I had to attend my mother's funeral. And for obvious reasons, it was an excused absence so it doesn't count.(sorry mama if I sound like I attended your funeral out of duty, i'm just trying to emphasize a point and I'm sure you understand:) Even as a child, I enjoyed school so much that being absent was torture for me. Yung tipong 'Ma--ma, pa--pa-sok---po---a-ko' with matching tears and obvious difficulty of breathing, shoulders raised and all. If I remember it correctly, it was as if Papa had to request that I miss school...aah, I'm so proud of myself..was my determination and thirst for knowledge really that intense?..haha. But seriously, it wouldn't take a degree in medicine or in any healthcare course for that matter, for any person to make a judgment that I wasn't fit for school, or for anything else other than rest. Anyone who would hear my hacking cough along with my 'I can't take it anymore' and 'I think I'm gonna die' act while I insist on going to school would either think of me as a Determined dweeb, or a Dumb martyr. And with this story comes one of the not so pleasing trivia about my life, which is that "I've never had complete attendance in any school year from nursery to high school." Yes, I'm sickly or should I say, I was sickly (ows talaga?)..oo kaya!:p..and the culprit is almost always respiratory in nature- upper or lower?, it doesn't really matter because it usually evolves to lower respiratory tract infection (LRTI) even though it only began as URTI. Which is why at a very young age, I already had the makings of a drug addict. I still didn't know that cough syrups (with codeine component) were addictive then but taking them was such a relief that I wanted to just finish the entire bottle in one seating; but thank God for Mama, for wisdom, for common sense, and for self-control:). Aside from cough syrups, I was also nebulized frequently with Ventolin, Budesonide, or a combination of both. I don't know if I'm just being too critical about myself but I really feel that my frequent exposure to steroids then, somehow affected my physical development. (I can already see Mao nodding in agreement, enumerating my Cushingoid signs, one by one..haha) But what really concerns me the most, out of all the medications I took in, were the antibiotics. If you have a healthcare-related profession, you probably know how antibiotics work. The antibiotic-bacteria interaction is like the student-teacher relationship for me. On the student's first days in school (first encounter), the normal student (bacteria) is expected to be fearful and obedient to his/her teacher (drug). Remember that stage when we used to believe in our teachers more than we believe in our parents?, that was also how easy for antibiotics to destroy and kill the bacteria in our bodies that cause disease. But it takes time, and a good teacher to do that. If the teacher doesn't enforce discipline early on in the relationship, the student will think of him/her as easygoing; hence, the student will probably treat the teacher more as a friend, than an authority to be reckoned with. In the same way, antibiotics must be conscientiously taken at least 7 days to allow it's full, and maximum effect on the bacteria to set in. Dahil ang bacteria, parang kriminal lang ba na hopeless nang magbago. You have to kill it, because when it survives, it will live to become a stronger, drug-resistant destroyer, either immune to or with new developed tactics to counter your attacks. Back to the student-teacher model, the student needs teachers who could impart more complex knowledge and information to support his/her learning needs as he/she increases in level. If the bacteria were like the students in my high school class, the antibiotic/teacher better be good because most of my classmates, well most of us actually, are very critical of our teachers- we're generous with our adoration and praises, but we can also be brutally frank if we believe we deserve someone better. High school teachers are like the 2nd generation antibiotics while college instructors stand for those in the 3rd generation in this model...gets? are you sure? because if you didn't, I still have other models in store. For you(1), you'd probably enjoy my phobia desensitization model; while a comprehensive discussion of my criminal model would perhaps enlighten you(2); and for you(3) I'd be glad to go over my slightly similar parent-child model...hahaha...but seriously, this thing about antibiotics bug me so much that I try to compensate by not taking in antibiotics now kahit feeling ko madedeads na'ko with infection. Nowadays, I usually just settle with lots of prayers, vitamins, rest, and other supportive/symptomatic treatment as needed. Although I'm confident that Mama followed the doctor's prescription and completed the entire duration of every antibiotic therapy I had since birth, I will still try to stay away from them as much as possible. (I don't wanna say this but) I'm trying to reserve the broader-spectrum antibiotics when I truly madly deeply need them, aside from wanting to give my liver and kidneys a much-needed break. Enough with 'science' (chos) and back to the real issue at hand, I really kinda' feel bad about those 28 hours; but just when I thought that that was the worst part, the jaded HR kuya, to whom I submitted my application requirements, had to rub it in, taking extra time to get a pencil and encircle those numbers for emphasis. In all fairness to me, the reasons behind those absences are all valid. I used 1 day (equivalent to 8 hours) for a job interview and rest ('cause I was sick again), and 2 days for my Basic Life Support training. The remaining 4 hours was a punishment for forgetting to punch my card out at the bundy clock. I didn't have the opportunity to explain to the jaded HR kuya what those 28 hours stood for, I just pray that my grade (one of the highest, if not the highest mark in our batch..ehem) would compensate for it. I can never boast of anything really, but I want to express my happiness and gratefulness to the Lord above for His guidance, love, and protection that made me achieve my goals. Actually, my grade, by other standards, is just average. The fact that it was among the highest (again, if not the highest...hahaha) just slightly increased its value; nevertheless, my instructors expressed their heartfelt congratulations for me so it's something, especially since many in our batch didn't meet the grade requirement to receive a certificate of proficiency at the very least. So there, Ate Friz, Mao, and I decided to cap off the day by eating out at Conti's then Red Mango at Trinoma. Even though we've only been together for roughly 4 months, I know I found friends-for-keeps in them.
my hearty club sandwich..yumyum:)
I was wearing red so everyone was jokingly greeting me "happy birthday!"; but Mao and Ate Friz certainly made me feel like it was my birthday for real because I had a great and yummy afternoon-evening all expense-paid!..haha..Mao said the dinner was his belated Christmas gift, while Ate Friz is as always very generous. It was already 8 pm when we finished dessert and we all had to head home already so I didn't have the chance to return their favors. But I'll get my chance in the coming days, because it won't surely be the last of our fun random afternoon-evenings together. Thank you Lord for giving me such wonderful friends!
********
Wow, I'm quite a blahgger, am i not? I can't believe I just wrote about attendance to being sickly to medications all in one paragraph. This post has definitely gone farther than expected...though not too far I hope:)
I pray I could keep this up because it would really be great to look back one day and see how I lived my life through these posts. I love Gang Badoy's take on blogging, expressed in her keynote speech for the 2009 Phil Blog Awards, with the theme "One Blogging Nation".
"Last thought - blogging is not the ultimate verb here tonight. I know you have caught a lot of flack in the past about the seeming non-active motion bloggers take. For those who think that blogging is a minor verb, I have something to share: One cannot blog unless one goes out there. If you never got your hands dirty or walked streets, helped out, experienced heartbreak, death, birth, victory, defeat, betrayal, pain, sweat- then really- you have nothing to blog. I think it is because you live and you live well -- this is why you can blog. Someday it will be said that blogging is merely the record of 'lives well-lived.' Again, for that I am grateful."
This blog of mine, a mere account of my personal thoughts, emotions, experiences, and beliefs, will apparently not matter to society in the more important fields of science- politics, social sciences, philosophy, etc. I started this only for the sake of creating an outlet for my thoughts whenever I feel like I want to share something. I've been writing since I was very young and I thought that with blogging, only the medium would be different. But blogging is so much more than writing about how my day went or how I feel at the moment. Somehow, though I don't expect anybody to waste their time reading my blog (I haven't even told anyone about it), this experience invokes a special sense of responsibility from me knowing that there's always this chance that someone would come across one of my entries, and I might be destined to make a life-changing impact in his/her life. One of my resolves for this year include my desire to blog on more relevant and inspirational topics. I am not a celebrity so most of my stories don't interest readers much but I am a nurse, and a servant of God- surely I have thoughts that matter in those fields. But if I have 2 words to perfectly describe what blogging has done to me, it would have to be HUMBLED and GRATEFUL. Thank you Lord for your amazing grace and love, that enables me to live each day, to experience the wonders of this life, and to give you glory with my every breath. For the thoughts you allow my brain to think, the feelings and emotions I'm able to draw from the depths of my soul, my faith and the values and principles I hold on to to keep myself grounded, the experiences and opportunities that leave me in awe, the people who make a mark in my life- MY LIFE, I am humbled with your love and power, and for all these and more, I am grateful.:) meow
MY 2011 RESOLVES
I've been under a lot of stress lately, doing hunger-provoking intellectual stuff, that I'm so glad for this short blogging break (parang bladder break lang..haha:) I managed to convince myself to take without battling with my conscience. After all, I wouldn't need to rush if I had finished all those things months ago; and for that, I felt like I deserve a punishment, so I settled on depriving myself of things other than work. Procrastination is still a serious concern for me. For me it isn't just delaying finishing my tasks. It's also about not being the responsible person I claim to be; and because I was rushing, the fruit of my work also reflected the sin of mediocrity. I also ended up lying, making up reasons to justify why I couldn't meet the deadline. Haaay, this, among other events at this time of the year (hello? isn't the year just starting?) makes me want to go to a retreat, reflect on the past week and year, and probably set up a list of My 2011 Resolves. Someone told me that resolves, being 'firm resolutions', are better, as juxtaposed with plain 'resolutions'. But what's in a word or in these words, if I don't live up to their meanings? So now, I have decided to come up with my New Year's list and by the end of the year, I hope to look back and place JOB WELL DONE beside each entry:).
MY 2011 RESOLVES
1. I resolve to act on my responsibilities immediately, and to finish them all on time.
2. I resolve to be more helpful, show more initiative.
3. I resolve to be less impatient.
4. I resolve to be less critical of others.
5. I resolve to weigh my thoughts and words carefully before I share them with others.
6. I resolve to commit to daily prayer and devotion.
7. I resolve to commit to at least a week of prayer and fasting before the year ends.
8. I resolve to commit to a weekly prayer with Ate, other people or alone, for items other than my personal requests.
9. I resolve to take responsibility for myself, especially in the financial aspect, as early as possible within the year.
10. I resolve to avoid participation in gossips about other people.
11. I resolve to show more kindness and compassion to the people I encounter.
12. I resolve to be braver, especially for things worth fighting for.
13. I resolve to be less selfish and more generous to other people.
14. I resolve to embark on new adventures, collect another FIRST, and make at least one dream of mine come true this year.
15. I resolve to blog more on relevant and inspirational topics.
16. I resolve to indulge myself on many good reads this year, and maybe own one from my savings.
17. I resolve to be more sociable..haha
18. I resolve to finish the yearbook!
19. I resolve to be more organized with my belongings.
20. I resolve to know more places, with the hopes of suppressing my natural instinct to get lost.
21. I resolve to lose weight, engage in more physical activities, and give in less to the cravings of my sweet tooth.
22. I resolve to find a way to be a part of the church.
23. I resolve to surprise Papa, Ate, and Micah with something that would make them happy.
24. I resolve to make an important investment before the year ends.
25. The list goes on actually, but to temporarily end this list, I resolve to keep dealing with this life as if running a marathon, and never a race.
This was part of the 2008 resolves Coach Anne told us about when I was in college, attending Sunday services with Bread of Life Baguio City; and every year since then, I make it a point to include this in my resolves, whether as part of a true list, or just an imaginary list in my mind. As opposed to the usual race, a marathon is more of a test of endurance than that of speed. There are times when I want a lot of things so much, and I want them fast, right at that moment; and although achieving stuff is also good, wanting to have material things, to achieve success, to increase in knowledge and in other perks of this world, sometimes cloud my vision of what really matters in my life. They invoke from me feelings of self-pity, dissatisfaction, envy, pride, and selfishness, among many other nonvirtues I've been trying so hard to heal within my system. I'm grateful that although they've clouded my vision a lot of times already, I've never gotten blind, because God always shows me His light, which shines far brighter than any temptation in this world. I probably haven't seen the worst of them yet, which is why I pray each day for God to "Teach me to number my days aright that I may gain a heart of wisdom"- a heart that relies not on worldly achievements to measure life;but instead, finds joy in investing in good, lasting relationships with others, serving my Creator, and worshipping Him in every word, every move, every feeling, and every thought. When my time to leave this world comes, I hope to be able to measure the length of my days, not by how far I've come, but by how long, and how strong I've remained in my faith.
May each day, Father, of my life on this earth lead me closer to you and your promise. Help me invest on things that last, and things that truly matter as I commit my whole life to you each day. Help me keep my face toward the goal and live a life that is heaven-bound, a life lived according to your example, and a life that allows your light to shine forth in all my relationships, my work, and in our community. I commit all these resolves in Your hands, in You whose strength enables me to do great and mighty things in Your name, according to Your will. I love you Lord, I love you Jesus, I love you Holy Spirit. My year, and my lifetime is yours and yours alone! meow
MY 2011 RESOLVES
1. I resolve to act on my responsibilities immediately, and to finish them all on time.
2. I resolve to be more helpful, show more initiative.
3. I resolve to be less impatient.
4. I resolve to be less critical of others.
5. I resolve to weigh my thoughts and words carefully before I share them with others.
6. I resolve to commit to daily prayer and devotion.
7. I resolve to commit to at least a week of prayer and fasting before the year ends.
8. I resolve to commit to a weekly prayer with Ate, other people or alone, for items other than my personal requests.
9. I resolve to take responsibility for myself, especially in the financial aspect, as early as possible within the year.
10. I resolve to avoid participation in gossips about other people.
11. I resolve to show more kindness and compassion to the people I encounter.
12. I resolve to be braver, especially for things worth fighting for.
13. I resolve to be less selfish and more generous to other people.
14. I resolve to embark on new adventures, collect another FIRST, and make at least one dream of mine come true this year.
15. I resolve to blog more on relevant and inspirational topics.
16. I resolve to indulge myself on many good reads this year, and maybe own one from my savings.
17. I resolve to be more sociable..haha
18. I resolve to finish the yearbook!
19. I resolve to be more organized with my belongings.
20. I resolve to know more places, with the hopes of suppressing my natural instinct to get lost.
21. I resolve to lose weight, engage in more physical activities, and give in less to the cravings of my sweet tooth.
22. I resolve to find a way to be a part of the church.
23. I resolve to surprise Papa, Ate, and Micah with something that would make them happy.
24. I resolve to make an important investment before the year ends.
25. The list goes on actually, but to temporarily end this list, I resolve to keep dealing with this life as if running a marathon, and never a race.
This was part of the 2008 resolves Coach Anne told us about when I was in college, attending Sunday services with Bread of Life Baguio City; and every year since then, I make it a point to include this in my resolves, whether as part of a true list, or just an imaginary list in my mind. As opposed to the usual race, a marathon is more of a test of endurance than that of speed. There are times when I want a lot of things so much, and I want them fast, right at that moment; and although achieving stuff is also good, wanting to have material things, to achieve success, to increase in knowledge and in other perks of this world, sometimes cloud my vision of what really matters in my life. They invoke from me feelings of self-pity, dissatisfaction, envy, pride, and selfishness, among many other nonvirtues I've been trying so hard to heal within my system. I'm grateful that although they've clouded my vision a lot of times already, I've never gotten blind, because God always shows me His light, which shines far brighter than any temptation in this world. I probably haven't seen the worst of them yet, which is why I pray each day for God to "Teach me to number my days aright that I may gain a heart of wisdom"- a heart that relies not on worldly achievements to measure life;but instead, finds joy in investing in good, lasting relationships with others, serving my Creator, and worshipping Him in every word, every move, every feeling, and every thought. When my time to leave this world comes, I hope to be able to measure the length of my days, not by how far I've come, but by how long, and how strong I've remained in my faith.
May each day, Father, of my life on this earth lead me closer to you and your promise. Help me invest on things that last, and things that truly matter as I commit my whole life to you each day. Help me keep my face toward the goal and live a life that is heaven-bound, a life lived according to your example, and a life that allows your light to shine forth in all my relationships, my work, and in our community. I commit all these resolves in Your hands, in You whose strength enables me to do great and mighty things in Your name, according to Your will. I love you Lord, I love you Jesus, I love you Holy Spirit. My year, and my lifetime is yours and yours alone! meow
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Off Day
I'm 21 years old, still young it seems, but I already feel so old, and a little useless. I do not fully know myself but I know ME well enough to say that today is not my day, because I'm not myself today. See, even my thoughts do not make any sense, but I'd rather indulge myself in mental diarrhea than hate myself and feel guilty for getting pissed on the simplest of things. Maybe it's the weather, or my health and the possibility that I might get colds again, or the hormones since I skipped my period last month and I'm still waiting for the supposedly regular shedding off of my endometrium. And then there's also the feeling of not doing anything that matters. Now that the training's done and I'm very eager and hopeful to find the "job", feelings of frustration and insecurity set in once in a while. I hate to entertain them, but when my body's down as well, I find it harder to shoo them away. As a result, I'm not my usual smiling self, instead I feel so lazy and grumpy. I've already felt irritated twice today for things that aren't worth it and I so hate myself for it. So here I am, isolating myself in this room, trying to save myself from sins of impatience and unreasonable flare-ups, and finding solace in doing one of the few things that comfort me during this kind of days- WRITING.
Francis Bacon said writing makes a righteous man and as I keep doing this, I hope to remove all the undesirable thoughts and feelings haunting my mind and heart. Father God, teach my heart to just hold on to you, your love for me, and your faithfulness in my life. Comfort my weary soul and free my mind of all the doubts, insecurities and uncertainties that cloud my view of the wonderful plans you have for me. Strengthen my faith, and remind me at all times that your grace is enough, and that I will never lack anything in my life because I already have you. Guard my heart, my mind, my mouth and my body for it is my desire to give you praise in everything that I think, say, or do. Help me to always find peace in Your presence. I love you Lord, thank you so much! meow
Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Francis Bacon said writing makes a righteous man and as I keep doing this, I hope to remove all the undesirable thoughts and feelings haunting my mind and heart. Father God, teach my heart to just hold on to you, your love for me, and your faithfulness in my life. Comfort my weary soul and free my mind of all the doubts, insecurities and uncertainties that cloud my view of the wonderful plans you have for me. Strengthen my faith, and remind me at all times that your grace is enough, and that I will never lack anything in my life because I already have you. Guard my heart, my mind, my mouth and my body for it is my desire to give you praise in everything that I think, say, or do. Help me to always find peace in Your presence. I love you Lord, thank you so much! meow
Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Let's get it on 2011!
It's the first day of 2011 and in just one day, 2010 became so yesterday:). And i mean that in two ways- 1) that 2010 is now a story of the past, and 2) that the entire year passed as if it was just a very long day. The year of the golden tiger certainly roared of surprises and blessings for me combined with some challenges here and there. Someone told me that 2007 was lucky because 7 is God's number, that 2008 was also lucky because 8 stood for infinity, that 9 is a lucky number in itself for 2009, and 10 stood for perfect 10 in 2010. But in whatever year, place, or circumstance, God never fails to give me reasons to be grateful, to give Him praise, and to just love Him more and more each day. And for as long as He's with me, and I with him, each day and year will surely be better than the last.:)
2010 is a jampacked year of beginnings and endings for me and I would like to sum up the highlights in a list:
1. I became a REGISTERED NURSE!
2. I started a BLOG!
3. I had my FIRST LESSON IN LOVE
4. I experienced life in MANILA!
5. I turned 21!
6. I went to ENCHANTED KINGDOM for the first time!
7. I joined FCF and a discussion group!
8. I completed 7 DAYS OF CONSECRATION (Prayer & Fasting)!
9. I learned and participated in PRAYER DANCES!
10. I trained at NKTI!
and the list goes on with I learned new skills, knowledge, songs, and life lessons; met new friends; cooked better:); and hopefully became more kind, patient, and responsible and less self-centered. I have not yet decided on my specific 2011 resolves and I'm not sure if I will ever formally come up with one. I only pray that I will grow in faith, love, and maturity with each day so that on the 1st day of 2012, I can say with certainty yet with humility that I became a better person! Father God, I still am clueless about what the future holds for me, the only thing that's clear is your unconditional and unfailing love and the assurance that whatever it is that awaits me can only be GREAT and WONDERFUL because it's according to your plan. I love you and I pray that I'll always will! 2011 is our year, yebah! Let's do this! meow
2010 is a jampacked year of beginnings and endings for me and I would like to sum up the highlights in a list:
1. I became a REGISTERED NURSE!
2. I started a BLOG!
3. I had my FIRST LESSON IN LOVE
4. I experienced life in MANILA!
5. I turned 21!
6. I went to ENCHANTED KINGDOM for the first time!
7. I joined FCF and a discussion group!
8. I completed 7 DAYS OF CONSECRATION (Prayer & Fasting)!
9. I learned and participated in PRAYER DANCES!
10. I trained at NKTI!
and the list goes on with I learned new skills, knowledge, songs, and life lessons; met new friends; cooked better:); and hopefully became more kind, patient, and responsible and less self-centered. I have not yet decided on my specific 2011 resolves and I'm not sure if I will ever formally come up with one. I only pray that I will grow in faith, love, and maturity with each day so that on the 1st day of 2012, I can say with certainty yet with humility that I became a better person! Father God, I still am clueless about what the future holds for me, the only thing that's clear is your unconditional and unfailing love and the assurance that whatever it is that awaits me can only be GREAT and WONDERFUL because it's according to your plan. I love you and I pray that I'll always will! 2011 is our year, yebah! Let's do this! meow
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