My Value

Here's a link to a podcast I just listened to that moved me to tears...:)

Love Life-Love


Points that Touched my Heart

• I am unique, created in God's own image and likeness, wonderfully and fearfully made.
• Who/what determines your value? The value you place on yourself will determine what and who you will give yourself to.
• Love desires to benefit others at the expense of self because love desires to give. 
• I am valuable because someone so great, the Maker of heaven and earth, my Creator, the God above all things, loves me so much, and He bought me at a price; and because of that, I am no longer my own; instead, I live to glorify God in my life.
• No matter what you've gone through, your value remains the same- because it is who created you that determines who you are.
• I am complete in Christ.

I've been contemplating the entire week on what to share tomorrow, at our cell group gathering. I came across this and lots of other words of inspiration but this is special, because it touched my heart so deeply that it moved me to tears. This is not new to me though, because always, without fail, the realization of how much God loves me, stirs me. It is such an overwhelming, humbling, and joyful experience to not just know, but to own the love of God, freely, whole-heartedly and unconditionally given to someone like me, a tiny, small, almost unrecognizable speck in the universe. Yes, I am proud of what I have become- my achievements, experiences, learnings, and everything that I've gone through the past 21 years of my life; but I'm prouder that I belong to the one great living, almighty, and loving God who made it all possible. My true value comes not from being on my own, but by being with Him, created by Him, and living for Him. I'm unique, I'm special and I'm a daughter of God. I deserve the best, and I'll wait for it, for him:); because I know that with God, the best is yet to come....and that best, is always worth the wait:) meow  

Coffee Date!

over a cup of coffee

I mean that literally and figuratively:)

Had a fun night today over coffee, donuts, and chocolate cake with my high school buddies. I didn't mean to go, kailangan pang iguilt-trip (loser me!), but I'm very glad I did! 

By the way, the pic's taken by Maka with her polaroid cam. We just placed it over a cup of coffee, then took another picture of it since she can't share or upload it as it is...pero amazed talaga ako sa polaroid, makes me wanna have one:)

'til our next unplanned date guys! I'l try to be more willing in the future (to be sure, kindly inform me at least a day in advance), I guess I'm really not that spontaneous (loser)..but if it's again, unplanned, then you can always subject me to your expert guilt-tripping over again until I give in...you know I'm easy, and gullible...pero sa inyo lang:) meow

New Year, New Planner!

February 16

Though February's about to end, it's never too late for a planner, especially for a much coveted planner that came as an unexpected gift from a very good and generous friend:)

I'm so HAPEEEE! Thank you Lord for Ate Friz and thank you Ate Friz for this wonderful surprise! Now it isn't just a planner anymore- it's my very first Starbuck's planner, and I got iT as a GIFT, as in FREE, No Sweat!:) Now I have 2 calendars, a planner, a devotion journal, and this blog to write on...hmmm...seems like I'm in for a colorful, word-full, and story-full 2011! and I'm so excited! I only hope I could sustain writing on them all religiously, after all, sayang ang dates, at ang pages:) I've actually given a few calendars away already but it turns out I still have a lot...nevertheless, I've already assigned a special purpose for every writing medium I have so 2011 will be a very busy WRITING year for me. If Francis Bacon is right, I may actually end up a far better person by the end of this year with all the writing I'll be doing:)

But my biggest thanks goes to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ- you really are the greatest Father and Friend and you surely know the perfect timing for everything...thank you for making me feel loved and for lifting my spirits up with wonderful family, friends and surprises when I need it so badly:) You're the BEST!!!!

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February 19

Got my hair cut today at Ang gaan-gaan ng feeling! Short hair is certainly my COMFORT hair- yesterday, today and I guess, forever:)

In fairness to the haircutter, she had nothing to do with the fly-away to the sides...haha...it looked a lot better this morning. This is what happens when one unintentionally falls asleep with wet hair. Posting this was actually a difficult decision to make (ooowws?..haha) because I would like to look back years from now and see myself in the prettier light, which is why I try to discriminate blog-worthy photos from the ones worth to be deleted. But I'm really at my best with short hair, I think:), so I was hoping that my smile would make up for my messy hair, my break-outs, the location, and everything else:) meow

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P.S.

Let me end this post with a mystery- WHOSE INFLAMED TONSILS ARE THIS! wahahahaha

Ttttangled!

It's February 13, just a day before Valentine's Day (obviously...), and Ate Angel and I just had what others would probably call a pre-Valentine date. But there is nothing in particular about today that I can relate with Valentines other than the date. We've been planning to watch Tangled since last year and we rarely go out. Actually, it's as if the days are fleeting and though we live in the same house, we rarely see each other except on the few Sundays that she doesn't have an activity in school. Today just happened to be our lucky day because aside from having the free time, we were also spared of feeling guilty for skipping weekly CG because since we all had personal businesses to attend to, the group decided not to hold it this week. We also had extra money, which is a very important criterion.

So all in all it was a perfect day for a movie date/eat-out except for Ate experiencing bouts of vertigo every now and then even after intake of medication. Nevertheless, we pushed through with it and what happened next was probably the most gluttonous time of our lives. It wasn't just an eat-out; it was literally and figuratively (exagge..) a pig-out. We decided to have lunch at Tong Yang, an eat-all-you-can restaurant and we were both very excited to try it for the first time. We were so excited actually, that we were able to wait patiently for more or less 45 minutes to get a table, because the place is packed and since the set-up's eat-all-you-can, people really stay long and 'eat as much as they can' to get their money's worth. Too bad for us, we already bought our movie tickets, which meant that we had to catch the movie at 2:15pm. We finally got a table at 1:30pm and Ate and I rushed to choose the foods we wanted to eat. But we can only do so much because we still had to wait for the food to get cooked. So to cut the story short, we ended up rushing to finish eating everything; and when we couldn't take it all anymore, because we were filled not just up to our stomachs but up to our heads as well, I proposed that we chew on the remaining food, then go to the restroom to throw them in the trash bin. Ate was reluctant at first, because gluttony is already one sin, but wasting food, God's blessing, is another. But I couldn't think of any other way- we could pay for the fine for having leftovers, try to finish everything and miss the movie, or stick to the plan. I did it first, because I also didn't enjoy the hard meat I was chewing. I ate and swallowed everything else I could manage to eat, and was even able to push down some ice cream and leche flan for dessert:) Ate eventually did the same thing. We both said sorry to God, at first, just resolving not to schedule anything right after an eat-all-you-can lunch; but later on, as we were walking slowly to the cinema, with Ate feeling uncomfortable and with the urge to vomit, she vowed never to try the eat-all-you-can lunch experience again. It was an abuse of God's blessings, and it led us to committing other sins. We also didn't feel good after eating because we were way beyond full. And as a consequence, the movie has already started when we reached the cinema, but my first 3D movie experience is another story:)

I got Tangled! It's a fun, great movie and I love Mandy Moore's voice on Rapunzel. Like other Disney movies, the songs are delightful to the ears, with meaningful lyrics I intend to download one these days.:) The blending of colors and the animation's fantastic, and not just because I'm easy to please...I think:). I didn't appreciate the 3D effects much because I'm not very comfortable with wearing glasses, although I probably need to see the 2D version too to objectively make a comparison. But the movie's wonderful, with the story made more exciting with both minor and major changes in the original fairy tale's plot. Rapunzel is now my favorite Disney princess, after Sleeping Beauty Belle and Little Mermaid Ariel. She matches Mulan's bravery and combines it with pure innocence (having been locked in a tower for 18 years), magic, and expertise in the martial art of hair fighting to pursue her dream, to see the lanterns. But what I love most about her is, SHE PAINTS!...and it has been my lifelong dream to be able to paint well...so that makes her a perfect inspiration for me, in the pursuit of my littlest to biggest DREAMS. Now I'm more determined to strive to become everything I hope to be, while singing beautiful songs with a gecko for a sidekick, and a cute thief for a prince charming (chos!)

But back to our gastronomic escapade turned sinful disaster, don't get me wrong. Tong Yang is a great eat-all-you-can restaurant, with their delicious wide range of food choices at an affordable price, and hospitable staff. It was our fault, that we got more than what we can manage, and that we put ourselves in such a compromising situation, not letting ourselves enjoy good food with all the time in the world. I'm willing to try it again with a different, better approach- which is to focus more on the food choices I really like, getting only what I can manage, and with much of the space in my stomach devoted to my most loved delightful desserts! But of course, I have no regrets whatsoever regarding how our date turned out. We learned our lessons, we were more than full, we got to try new things, and we had a great time and more- because we were together! (aaaah...mushy sisterly love, I can now imagine how Ate would cringe upon reading this...hahaha)

'til our next date! meow

Psychotic boyfriends/girlfriends should go to mental!

hope that won't include me in the future :p

I'm posting a copy of this article by Gang Badoy (love her:), published 2 years ago in 2BU! of PDI to keep myself reminded to stay away from future psychotic boyfriends, and hopefully to prevent myself from becoming one as well by learning the ropes to and signs of psychosis in a girlfriend. It's a fun, fun, level-headed, and practical read even innocent(chos) girls like me can relate to!..haha

About your psychotic girlfriend

By Gang Badoy
Philippine Daily Inquirer

Last updated 17:51:00 01/23/2009




MY dearest nephew,

You are now a man and have been going through your share of demented relationships while I just silently watch from the sides of the ring.

I wish I had more time with you so I can tell you what I’ve learned about the psychosis of girlfriends, having been one a few times myself. I’m not sure I qualify as psychotic though, as I fight fair more often than not. I do not employ the pouting mouth tactics nor the breathy Marilyn-Monroe-cleavage-state move. I have neither the voice nor the chest to do so.

I’m afraid I have to be brutally frank with you, my boy, as it seems like your Mom will never be able to do this with you because she is your parent. That’s how it goes. As I did not give birth to you, nor do I feel any obligation to society or any Jesuit alma mater to produce “Men for Others,” I will tell it to you straight. You will “fall in love” with someone very wrong at some point in your life. Hopefully it will be a passing fancy and that after a while you will dump that nymphet and proceed to the higher level of woman partners. Always level up, like the video game moguls say. Incidentally, I say, “fall in love” because after much scrutiny you will realize it’s just hormones and availability and proximity talking. Ouch, I know.

A lot like love

Yes, you will always mistake sexual attraction for love because they look a lot alike and you will also mistake love for acquisition or conquest—they release the same serotonin brain squirts and yes, if your Mom or Dad raised you to worry about society and image, you will also mistake being “socially-acceptably-coupled” as love, too. These things are not totally wrong, but none of them are exactly right either. Sexual attraction is great, a feeling of conquest and achievement is good for character, and societal norms are good to follow but they are not the absolute lines we follow when choosing a life partner.

Believe me, habit and the feeling of financial security can look a lot like love, too—so be wary. And be smarter than the rules. Hell, even be smarter than this set of words I’m stringing for you now.

I’m Auntie Gang and I will never want anything bad to happen to you, I assure you. But for your demented girlfriend, I will wish her all ill if she ever does anything sociopathic like embarrass you in public, freak out on your friends, bash your male pride online or emotionally cheat on you by whatever means. (We talked about this before, remember? And there are many ways for a moodswinging egocentric harlot to cheat on you sans sleeping with another man. So again, keep those lenses focused on your sanity—not hers. That’s her parents’ responsibility, not yours.)

Next, don’t ever feel guilty about anything that happened to her in the past. Especially if you weren’t the one who inflicted her pain. She cannot throw those misfortunes at you and emotionally blackmail you into thinking that you ought to be her protector. This also doesn’t mean that you should allow her leeway and give her exemptions from bad behavior because she was once hurt. Well, don’t let her throw that sh* on you. Hurt, my tush, aren’t we all? So, no. That won’t fly. That is not healthy. You don’t want to be there. If I were you, leave her alone, pick a shade and watch her undo herself on her own. It won’t take too long.

Emotional blackmail

If it’s a sturdy partnership you want, something that can possibly produce offsprings that will become pillars of society—Do. Not. Stay. With. Someone. Who. Emotionally. Blackmails. You. Do. Not. Just. Don’t.

Jesus, you’re a smart guy, stay with someone who will not only support you but also expand your universe by having a world of her own to introduce to you. You cannot (and I will not allow your mind to shrink so small) wrap yourself around her world and neither can you make her wrap her world around yours either. You have to have two separate galaxies so when you are together you have two galaxies’ worth of conversation, adventure, learning and laughter. No shrinking allowed.

Do not adjust what you hold important just to keep your sniveling little princess who rebonds her hair like it was federally required.

You’re still aching, I know. You’re still checking your phone if she sent an SMS. If it had a smiling face. If it had your name on it. If it had those squiggly stuff that comes with pressing a bit more on one letter so that the letters look like they’re wearing scarves. Stop. I know. Believe me, I see it. You miss her and God knows no one can make you stop feeling that.

So okay, if you want to see if you can still fix it, if you think that despite her staging psychotic meltdowns for relaxation you want to stay then I shall just equip you with what I have learned about dealing with young romance.

I feel for you, my nephew, because women are not the most direct beings on the planet.

The World’s Mysteries are as follows:

1. Young women
2. Those big rock slabs arranged on Salisbury Plain
3. How Filipino politicians and greedy landlords sleep at night

PhD-level Math problems are easier to understand than some of the things my friends have said to their boyfriends. I know because I’ve done it too.

He: What’s the matter?
Me: Nothing.

When it comes to certain emotionally-charged issues, women prefer to use indirect communication because we can find out a lot more about men with a few misleading statements.

You see, the way a guy reacts to each mysterious thing she says is a test to see if her boyfriend is a mind reader. She wants to know if you can read her mind.

That, to a woman, is the truest measure of love. No, it’s not enough that you remember to leave the toilet seat down. If you could just master the mind-reading thing, you can get away with leaving the seat up forever.

No. I am not betraying my sex by clueing you in on this, I am doing this out of charity. Because the faster you know what your girlfriend means, the faster she gets what she wants. That’s a lot better than waiting for you to figure it out.

She says: “Nothing’s wrong.” (And it’s followed by any or all of the following: silence, tears, the sound of your iPod or a guitar being smashed to pieces, looking away theatrically or the sound of your door locking.)

She means: “Something you did a minute/an hour/three years ago upset me, and if you really loved me you’d know what it was.”

What you should do: Say something like, “Level with me here. Tell me what’s bothering you so we can talk about it and fix it.”

What you should NOT do: Say, “Fine!” just so you can watch TV uninterrupted while she texts another guy friend to pick her up from your place.

When she says: “I’ll be ready in five minutes.”

She means: “Sit down, have a beer, read ‘Noli Me Tangere’ if you like...”

What you should do: Look for the TV remote, you’re not going anywhere for at least an hour.

This is all I have for now. Tell me if you want more. If not, just break up with her. Lots of fish out there, believe me—and not all are as demented as her. Everybody prunes up when they get older. You might as well be with a nice, funny, stable prune.

Love Always,

Auntie Gang

I want to be a nice, funny, stable prune someday:), although right now isn't too soon either. And I wish that all emotionally unstable and emotional blackmailing, irresponsible men with no spine who can't even wear the pants in a relationship and be accountable for themselves emit some kind of signal that defines them, something like gaydar for homosexuals, so the world would be so much brighter. But that isn't how life goes, and it's all part of the challenge. So Lord give me wisdom, guard my heart (Kat's heart too) and make that one person you've set apart for us shine right before our eyes in the right time..haha..on my part, I'll work on being a good friend, guarding my heart until I've seen the signs... Until then, solitude, coated with the love of God, family and friends, is happiness:)

DILEMMA: PRACTICALITY vs. SELF-DEPRIVATION

I really need to be able to draw the line. Actually, I didn't think of it as a concern until this morning, when I refused to buy breakfast, and our administrator, Ms. Madel, offered to lend me money, the one I paid for our Jollibee dinner the previous night. I just didn't want to buy because since I was going home that morning, I intended to eat at home. I also wasn't hungry, I was SLEEPY and I didn't want to relieve it with anything other than sleep. But it still got me thinking, "Nagmumukha na ba akong kawawa?" I don't usually mind what others think of me for as long as I'm assured that I'm not doing anything wrong, although in this case, having others take pity on me, for me, is an insult to my family especially to Papa who provides for us, and to my God who's the source of all my blessings. We aren't rich but I give credit to Papa who provided us with everything we needed, including wants every now and then; and to my Lord, Father God in heaven, who never allowed us to lack in anything. His grace is abundant in our lives and I want people to see that, so Lord I ask for wisdom and for guidance in making the right investments, and in spending my money wisely. It's food, so it's a need but I don't want to buy just because everyone's buying. Maybe I should just share more, yes, that's probably the way to do it. After all, I find it easier to spend for others than for myself. It's just the 3rd day of work so they still do not know me and I also do not know them yet but I want to be able to leave good, lasting impressions even when I'm no longer working with them. (thoughts like this just on the 3rd day...bad..tsk..tsk..tsk)

...so I guess that's it, dilemma solved.

P.S.

Thank you Father for your word in Matthew 6:25

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?


...and Papa called me today. I didn't realize I miss talking to him that much until he called. Thank you Papa for always making the effort. Most of your calls are not in good timing, but we're grateful that you're always around, when we need you most, and when we don't think we need you. Love you much! meow

First-day Jitters

A few hours before my first day, or night rather, at my first job and I just wanna write something fast to help release my agitation..haha..I've gone to night duties many times before and if I understood the job description correctly, what I will be doing will be so much easier than the physically taxing work we do in the hospital. I'm all set, and I even managed to take a short nap this afternoon. I know I shouldn't be afraid but I'm beginning to feel alone, and I miss papa who used to drop me off the bus stop, not leaving until I've ridden a bus or a jeepney going to the hospital. God, I know I have you, so konting lakas ng loob pa po:). Thank you for assuring my safety, and my well-being. This is just first-day jitters, and tomorrow will surely be better with You:) Please help me manage my time without compromising my work, for that other project I keep on telling you about. Thank you so much for this opportunity to be productive, may I be a blessing to my workmates and all the people I'll be dealing with. love you! mwaaah! meow