Hits and Misses

There's no point in denying it- I haven't been a faithful blogger/journal writer this year. I have been very busy to the point of getting sick but that's no excuse, because even when I had the time and the computer's in front of me waiting to play host to my creative juices and random thoughts, I still felt too tired to write.

But there must be something about today, with my mind seeming to be restless even after taking in PPA for my colds so maybe I have something blog-worthy I can produce today:)

2012 has been a very busy year no doubt. Since I started working at the hospital, it felt like I was alone in Baguio again even though I lived with my sisters. We rarely saw each other, had little time to bond, and I missed some family events and reunions again this year. But on a more positive note, things are still a lot better because God always made a way for me to miraculously make my schedule free on really important events. We were able to celebrate birthdays in the family, I still get to lead worship in church from time to time with adjustments here and there, I got to reunite with Barb and Gregg a few weeks ago, and I've been spending quality time with my cell group on a regular basis:)

My Christmas was spent on the hospital this year and contrary to what I expected, toxic pa din kami...haha...i'm currently nursing some flu symptoms but thank you Lord for not allowing me to be recalled for work yesterday and for rewarding me instead with the longest sleep I've had in weeks. God is my healer and I'm almost completely healed...konti na lang:)

I won't be able to finish the entire Bible this year as I have previously resolved- Old Testament lang po muna Lord, but I got to read Captivating and some chapters of Lies Women Believe through our cell group. There's also The 10 Commandments for Choosing God's Best and lots of blogs that I really follow.

At this point I'm still not sure where this post is headed to but I guess this is my way of looking back and evaluating how I've been in the past year. I haven't been able comply with my resolves completely but God's grace has been sufficient in keeping me on track, surprising me with some detours along the way, helping me overcome obstacles, and giving me the strength to go on and keep trying.

I am half-hearted in saying that I've become a better person, not entirely sure if my hits weigh more than my misses, but if my faithfulness in always trying to apologize and compensate for all my misses would be an added bonus, then I can gladly...and yes, proudly say that I'd make the mark. 

So I say thank you Lord that the world did not yet end last week. Thank you for new chances, for the days to come full of new adventures and challenges. Thank you for helping me make it, and thank you more for helping me stand up again after I've fallen, which is what happens most of the time.

I'll keep on praying hard that you would reveal to me my direction for 2013 very very soon. Until then, I'll do my best to grow where I'm planted, always striving to be excellent at work, in church, in my relationships with others, and most of all, with You.

Help me win my battle against my resources, reminding me always that your grace is enough. Finally, I pray that with every day that passes, may I become more and more of the good and faithful servant you want me to be- more generous, more kind, more understanding, and more loving, all for your greater glory!

Still, with you in my heart, I know that 2013 will be a blast!

Love lots,

Katy:)  

Surprise Surprise

I may not be feeling so well these past few days with lots of sneezing and a bit of sore throat but the gifts I got yesterday certainly made my day. I should have taken a picture of them (a complete meal tray and a bag of red eggs and tomatoes...haha), but we were  practically rolling all over the place from start to finish of our duty. I was so tired by the time I got home late in the evening but my heart's happy and content knowing that I did the best I could for the day, for all my patients. I had an overflow yesterday of appreciation from my patients, and from a personnel in our dietary department whose cut I cleaned and attended to a month ago. It really feels awesome to be given a gift you did not expect for services you've rendered, especially when all I ever wanted was to let the Lord's light shine through me. It's a frustration and a challenge for me to openly share about God to my patients, co-workers, and other people I encounter but yesterday was an affirmation that my simple efforts do not go unnoticed by the people I serve, and by God most of all.

As always, thank you Lord for pulling me through...It is only... truly by your grace that I get by each day. I promise to press on in letting others know You through what I say and do. I offer every  smile, every touch, and every kind word I say for your glory. I love you very much!

Your always striving to be good and faithful servant,

Katy:)

Hello Again Blog!

Whew...it's been a long time...and no, it isn't as if my life has missed it's regular doses of highlights and challenges; the blame for this long writing hiatus is all on me. Yes, I've been lazy. There have been many times when I wanted to write, but the temptation to just read and browse always won over my desire to keep a record of my thoughts, and I just end up reasoning to myself- "Naisapuso ko na 'yun!" :)

But as I was enjoying reading things I wrote in the past just a few minutes ago, I was once again reminded of why I started this online journal. This is primarily a personal blog- open to all, not wanting to miss the opportunity to inspire some random person; but accountable to nobody but myself, and God- the Lord of my life. I've already talked about how much writing has improved me as a person, but on top of that is that wonderful feeling of being able to look back at things in your own perspective. It's a fun way of reflecting, and I learn a lot about myself, how much I've changed and how I've stayed the same by rereading my thoughts.

So here's to another fresh start!!! To record-breaking number of posts..haha..and to wonderful memories I would strive to treasure in words and pictures:)

To catch up, here's a random rundown:

 eat-out with sisters; we are rarely able to take pics of the food- because we're foodies in a different way:)

post-duty eat-out which happens often especially with Maam Veve- first on the right (clingy kasi siya...haha)

cell-group meetings!- (1st)usual Sunday after-service lunch, and (2nd)weekday dinner at Il Padrino

 duty- what has been filling my days

fan shot with atom- certainly a surprise! I wish I had better posture..haha

zach's 7th birthday!- we watched Alvin and the Chipmunks and Lion King to keep the kids settled while waiting for the caterer to set up

There are a lot of things to watch out for in the coming days:

- Papa's 55th birthday

- Micah's 18th birthday

- Christmas (my first in the hospital and without family)

and many more happy days for sure! Thank you Lord!

And to close this reintroduction, here's one of my life verses...

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12
God bless!

Thank you Jesus for waking me up yesterday...else I would've been late for work.

You never fail to prove that You are my Savior- in all ways:)

Like An Incense

Forever Reign

Nothing compares to your embrace...
Light of the world, forever reign!

September: Catch up month

I'm no Chinese to believe in August being a ghost month. For the past 23 years of my life, it has only been known to me as my birth month but this August 2012, I've practically been a ghost in most days even at home. I was only active in the hospital, but in all other areas, I was either absent or bangag or asleep...Micah said I've been extra clingy, eh pano ba namang hindi when I hardly see them, or even when I do, I'm too tired to talk to them. Friends and people at church missed me too so I'm hoping to see them very soon, having evaluated my new schedule for September.

Before October comes a.k.a. Ate's Bar Exam month, I'm excited to do a lot of catching up this September. Just yesterday, God has allowed me to catch up with sleep- 12 hours straight the whole day + 5 hours at night lang naman ang itinulog ko, a well-deserved rest after 3 straight nights of duty. On the days to come I hope to catch up with people and activities in the church, with replenishing our supplies at home plus cooking hopefully, with eating healthy because I have this feeling na biskwit at tinapay na lang ang bumubuhay sa katawan ko, with having my presence felt more at home, with taking care of myself and with many other things, God willing and as my free time permits.

As for the highlights of my unforgettable August 2012, here's a rundown:

- my birthday
- movie date with Micah
- Mama's birthday
- the yearbook's done, finally!
- first shot at charge nursing

and to open September with a bang, I had my hair cut once again one random afternoon. I miss my long hair too but short hair's really a winner in terms of manageability so I'm sticking with it for the meantime.

The sky-high stress levels at work I've experienced this past month are showing on my pimple-infested cheeks but I have yet to find a new dermatologist whose treatment plan would work for me. I am very grateful to the Lord because even with all the unhealthy eating, sleeping and voiding habits I've had lately, I'm happily sick free and always able to care for my patients and perform my duties with a clear mind, strong body, and willing spirit.

A few days ago, these series of verses brought me to tears:

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation.
He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior-
from violent men you save me.
I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.

He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me.

2 Samuel 22:2-4, 17-20

I always say this and I guess I'll always will- Thank you Lord for pulling me through. People at work tease me for looking cool all the time even with all the chaos we are faced with each day. I tell them it isn't true because I do have a lot in mind but I just try to do everything that I can the fastest and most effective way possible. The room for mistakes is enormous and I've had my share of them but having you by my side, in every step I take or movement I make keeps me strong, hopeful, and 'cool' as they say, not letting the stress get into my head and just striving to do my best, to glorify You in all things, big or small.

My enemies (demands, time constraints, weight of responsibility, lack of rest, grueling tasks, etc.) at work are always on the attack but You never fail to rescue me, and even before a duty begins, I'm already assured that I'll come out victorious because You've already won the battle for me. I keep saying that I can't imagine myself doing this forever but I'm taking one day at a time with your grace that is more than sufficient to make me overcome all hindrances to fulfill my calling as a nurse.

Thank you thank you thank you Lord!!! All glory and praise belongs to you, who is mighty and able to do all things!

Greater Grace

As my problems get bigger and tougher, Your grace gets greater and GREATER....

Changing Times

This is probably the third or fourth instance that my body automatically woke up just when the world is still beginning to sleep. It seems my body clock's getting used to the frequent night duties I've had for the past two months, and this worried me at first, with thoughts of insomnia and being unproductive when I need to stressing my already stressed mind.

One night I turned to God, to talking to Him and reading His Word, hoping it would lull me to sleep (yes, wrong motives...haha). I didn't fall asleep though, and I was able to pray specifically for many items I would just generalize before to make the prayers shorter. I was also able to read the Bible in a relaxed and expectant mood without fighting the urge to fall asleep which was what usually happened in the past.

So here I am, making the most of it instead of just closing my eyes hoping to get back to sleep. After all, just because I can't sleep at night doesn't mean I can't get adequate sleep. And truly, if there's a will, there's a way! This I proved when I washed my hospital uniforms the other night in my desire to be productive...haha.

So I'm embracing this new season in my life. I'm still hoping though that this wouldn't last long, because I really miss going to church on a Sunday morning, spending time with my friends and family without feeling all tired and sleepy. I also don't feel like cooking at night...haha

So while a wait for a possible change of sched, I'll look for other things to do.

Thank you Lord for the amazing strength you give me each day, for maximizing my intermittent rest periods, and for being a God I can talk to 24/7.

Good morning!
Maybe later I'll say good night!

Gratefully Twenty-three

I almost got settled with the idea of just letting this month pass by without a decent post. I thought, 'who reads my blog anyway?' But this isn't just another month, it's my birth month and I want this entry to be a testimony of how much God has blessed me.

I've gotten my biggest wish for the year- I am now a practicing hospital nurse, and although it has been tough, even physically and emotionally draining at times, I am very grateful to the Lord for giving me this job that I love. It has made me give up a lot things that I enjoy doing and offer a major part of myself for others (all aspects included); but the rewards go beyond the salary I get twice a month, and while I may be hungry and tired on the outside, I am humbled and privileged to take part in God's ministry of healing for a lot of people deep inside. It was more challenging to come to work this past weeks with the typhoons and floods I had to brave just to reach the hospital while my sisters were resting peacefully at home, but I know that God isn't blind to our sacrifices, and the fact that I am sickness-free and feeling healthy even with all the meals missed is already a BIG blessing I'm very thankful for.

I just wish my schedule would permit me to still lend my talents and service to our local church. I miss singing and worship leading big time; basically I miss going to church on a Sunday morning..haha. I haven't met with my cell group for weeks, haven't been physically in touch with friends, and have adjusted my quiet time and devotion to fit my erratic schedule. But I am confident that God sees the desires of my heart, and I know that my service to Him isn't limited to these means, so aside from dutifully performing the requirements of my job, I focus the limited time I have to praying, and some of my resources to giving more. Thank you Lord for your generosity, for allowing me to take part in advancing your kingdom, and for giving me unlimited opportunities to give back and to give glory to your Name.

I am, as always, grateful for my family. They've been supportive of this new phase in my life, and just having them around is already a big stress buffer. Micah got sick recently for 2 days, but God has been very good. He did not only heal her, but he also made sure we had the resources to support her. God has, and has always been my faithful provider, and I am very thankful that he enables me to share my blessings to others as well.

My actual birthdate this year has been rainy and peaceful. I was from night duty but I had the day off so after a few chores and a short rest, celebration na! Papa would have wanted to come and celebrate with us but his work didn't allow him to; nevertheless, his presence was more than felt especially with his frequent calls. :) I got to try and eat at Aristocrat for the first time, got to see Brave, and just spend time with my loved ones. It could have been a normal day, but even that realization opened my eyes to the many blessings that I tend to miss out sometimes. So now I say thank you Lord for giving me the privilege to treat even if it isn't my birthday, for the many frequent opportunities you've been giving us to spend time together, enjoying good food with the best company, and for making each day so special it's difficult for my birthday to stand out anymore...hahaha    

For You who make all things work, all things beautiful, all things meaningful, all things new, all things perfect- even though it's beyond my mind's capacity to understand most of the time, I give my LIFE and my BIGGEST THANKS!!! You are my refuge and my stronghold, and I know that the many more years to come in my life are secured by your perfect love that drives out all my fears away, day by day.

The past 23 years have been a blast with you, and I can't wait to see the wonderful blessings and promises you still have in store!:) I love you Lord!!!!


Ever grateful,

Katy

I've been finding it difficult to put my thoughts into writing these days...haha. I think it has something to do with the interplay of tiredness and lack of inspiration. I'm currently at a phase of being able to do what I need but not the things I want. My erratic schedule has made my usual routine impossible to follow so my current attitude in approaching each day is about making the most of my time, trying to balance rest and responsibility.

I'm sorry Lord if I haven't been spending time with you as I should. I'm very grateful for the minutes of solitude you allow me to have each week with you, and for the extraordinary strength that enables me to do all these things in your Name. Tomorrow's another day of challenge...haha...but I have peace in knowing that the battle isn't mine but Yours, and that you've already won it for me:)

I love you Lord!

Inspirational Video of the Day: Aftermath

Summer Showreel

This is so funny but I also find it amazing how this showreel got created by just choosing a few random pictures.

http://summershowreel.discoverhongkong.com/redirection.php?page=%2Findex.php%3Fid%3D1761&WT.mc_id=100232

For the effort, I voted for myself...haha...but I won't rally for more votes from friends, let alone inform them about this...tama nang ako at si Ate na namilit ang nakakaalam :)

Steady

It's been quiet on this side of the camp, but it's only as far as blogging is concerned. Again, I've been a bit busy, still adjusting at work but getting by each day, always praying that I'd be able to learn everything I need to ASAP without having to commit any grave mistake in the process.

Father's Day was extra special because Papa visited and came to celebrate with us all the way from La Union. Ate also practically stayed with us the entire week last week and though I've been recalled to go on duty twice already, I still get to rest adequately and I don't get sick which is really such a miracle, so my biggest thanks goes to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

To You who make all things new, for your grace that pulls me through each day and your strength that enables me to endure things I never thought I could- I love you!

 

In a time of brokenness...

This May isn't just my Ate's birth month. May 2012 is also my month- of answered prayers, BIG changes, tears of joy and of sadness, successes and failures....and it's not even done yet! Here's a rundown of my May so far:

May 10- The good news I've been waiting for finally came! and I cried buckets of tears of joy in celebration, and in awe of God's goodness in my life and his faithfulness in fulfilling his promises.

May 11- Orientation/Resignation/Despedida Party at the Office

May 15- First Ward Meeting!

May 16- First official duty (10-7)

May 22- First 6-6 AM duty...my unforgettable day of failure, when I committed a BIG mistake...

Yes, I shed buckets of tears again until the next day. It was a BIG deal kind of mistake, like all the mistakes I could possibly make at work but work hard in not making them. And I am overwhelmed with guilt, but I can only be so for a moment, because tomorrow's another battle, and I can only live on the lessons of the past, so I can be a better person the next day.

More than the fear of being reprimanded, I am ashamed of myself for such a mindless mistake. And I am more ashamed that I did not give glory to God at work with what I did. But even with my soul downcast within me, I am grateful to my God for letting me know that He is greater than all my weaknesses and shortcomings. He forgives me more easily than I can forgive myself, and He sends people to encourage me, and to remind me that it's not my failures that He remembers, but my courage to rise up, with the determination to do better...and one day, to do best.

This morning I was again led  to one of my favorite passages in the Bible..

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.


Lamentations 3:22-23

Father, you know I still feel bad, and there's no point in keeping that from You, you who see everything and know my inmost being. But I am standing up, humbled by your love and grace, not by my own might but by your Spirit, that comforts me and reminds me non-stop that you are not through with me, that I am a work in progress.

In this time of brokenness, I am grateful that you are greater than my guilt. And just like in the song, I know that you are for me, that you will never forsake me in my weaknesses, and that you'll come and meet me to plant that truth yourself in my heart, to remind me of who you are- your Compassion, your Grace, your Mercy, your Love.

With blessings come challenges, and as I continue to adjust, help me Lord to do best, and to get through each day without doing any harm to anyone; for it is my heart's desire, to give glory to Your Name in everything I do. Jesus, I love you.

,Katy

Keep Me Company

This song just hits home for me:)

Jesus, in this daily process of healing, I know I always got your company...

Keep Me Company
Walkie Talkies (Rizza and Raleene Cabrera)

Speaking slower than usual
These images keep haunting my dreams
I’m trying harder than usual
But my efforts fail me
I’m bordering insanity

Teach me how to feel what’s real
Let me learn to love and heal
Keep me far from the edge
I beg of you

Save me from these turbulent tides inside myself
I’m drowning deep in my sorrows I keep on falling
Pull me back to stand on my own two feet
And never leave me
Just keep me company

Holding longer than usual
My hand’s still shaking, I’m tightening my grip and
I’m thinking louder than usual
The world can’t contain me
This yearning’s too much to defeat

I won’t stop, no, won’t stop
Until you save me from these
Turbulent tides inside myself
I’m drowning deep in my sorrows I keep on falling
Pull me back to stand on my own two feet
And never leave me
Just keep me company

Teach me how to feel what’s real
Let me learn to love and heal
Keep me far from the edge
I beg of you

Save me from these turbulent tides inside myself
I’m drowning deep in my sorrows I keep on falling
Pull me back to stand on my own two feet
And never leave me
Just keep me company

Go Jessica Sanchez!!!

She's just amazing in this song!:)

Live Version

Studio Version

Had to post the 2 versions because I love 'em both! (adik lang)

Why this song almost got her out of the contest is still beyond my understanding.

I ain't usually lost for words
This has got to be a first
And I'm tryna find the reason why I'm
Stu- stu- stu- stuttering

Something funny's happening
I'm at a place I've never been
And there's got to be a reason why I'm
Stu- stu- stu- stuttering

Every time you look my way
Something in me feels so strange
And I'm starting to think you are why I'm
Stu- stu- stuttering

I said he, he, he, hello
And my, my, my, my, my name is
And it's so frustrating 'cause I don't wanna let you down
My mind is racing, but it won't come out

Can't believe that I can't talk
But it's not my fault
'Cause there's something that you do that's got me
Stu- stu- stu- stuttering

There's so much that I wanna say
But something's getting in my way
And I gotta figure out how to stop
Stu- stu- stuttering

I said he, he, he, hello
And my, my, my, my, my name is
And it's so frustrating 'cause I don't wanna let you down
My mind is racing, but it won't come out

Try to breathe but I'm suffocating
Just be me but it's complicated
I wanna tell you who I am, and where I'm from
Where I go, when I wanna be alone

I want you to know me better
Once I get my thoughts together
It should be so easy to tell you how I'm feeling
But I can't stop stuttering

Stuttering, stuttering
Stu- doo doo doo doo doo
Stuttering

I ain't usually lost for words
This has got to be a first
And I'm starting to think you are why I'm
Stu- stu- stu- stuttering

I hope she wins! Go Jessica!

To Kill A Mockingbird

Yeey! I've finally read To Kill A Mockingbird!...or a better way to put it would be I've FINALLY read To Kill a Mockingbird!!!

I can think of many reasons why I've put it off when I've been planning/wanting to read this book since last year. But I'm really not so sure what's up with me these days. Back in college, I would have just bought it if I really wanted it; nowadays, I only buy the things that I/we need and they want. At 22, turning 23 on August, I'm becoming more and more of the lola I've always been since I was small...haha. It's a lot easier for me to buy foods my loved ones enjoy than spend the money I have on myself. My love for reading never waned in as much as my desire to learn remains unquenched; but my priorities have certainly changed, and the serious business of homemaking has been on top of my list for a year now. So even though this American Literature classic is priced way lower than all the valuable ideas it offers, I still had reservations in spending Php 200 for it...yaay, I almost pitied myself there had I not remembered that I spent it on groceries..haha

But just because I wasn't willing to buy it didn't mean that I gave up on reading it. After all, I would have eventually bought it if I didn't have other options. And thank you Lord that I did! I'm no longer a student so I don't have access anymore on school libraries but Micah still is, and will be for long, so this book would surely be one of the many more books I would ask her to borrow for me. Credits go therefore to the UP-CAL Library for this wonderful reading opportunity.

It took me roughly 6 days to finish it, the duration speaking so much, again, about the changes in my life/habits. I'd like to think that my bookworm skills, honed over the years, haven't gone stale, and that I can still finish a book in 1-2 days/overnight if I mean to. But my book addiction years are certainly over (yehesss, I've matured!), and gone are the days when I would put off even my physiologic needs for the sheer pleasure of reading. A lot of things have to come first, and even certain books/materials have to be read first (my daily dose of the Word of God on top of the list of course); but that's not to say that my interest in the story isn't as high/higher than the fiction books I've read in the past, because even in the process of fragmented reading, my respect and appreciation for Atticus and my excitement in Scout, Jem, and Dill's escapades, grew more and more intense with every page.

My heroes in high school were the warriors in the many historical romance books I got 'addicted' to then. They were handsome, brave, valiant, and effortlessly romantic; also grumpy and irritable most of the time, but always vulnerable to change for the better for that one woman that would capture their heart. And now, as I'm writing this, no wonder Jude Law was my ultimate crush then...hahaha. College was a more neutral phase. I read varied kinds of books from bestsellers to local pocketbooks :) , compulsory philosophical/Philippine literature readings in school, to any reading material at home I could land my hands on. I can't think of anyone who stood out except for the symbolic characters in Jose Rizal's Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo. Then a bit radical changes happened in my life, that made fiction rare in my reading list. Before this, the last fiction I've read was The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold and that was more than a year ago already. But there is, indeed, a time for everything; and I'm so glad to have picked up To Kill a Mockingbird now. I wanted to say 'now that I can understand it better', but I'm not so sure about that. All the waiting; however, with my current desire to rediscover the classics, definitely added to my excitement in reading this book. And with the many words I've already written (haven't been inspired to write this long for a long time :), it's beyond obvious that To Kill a Mockingbird did not fail my expectations; no, it did not, not a bit :). It is rightfully worthy to be a classic in American Literature, as it will forever now be a classic on the reading list of my lifetime.

And I now have a new fictional hero in Atticus Finch. He isn't a handsome warrior who made princesses swoon, but he's a noble man of courage, respect and dignity, and he's a Christian, not just in name but in his way of life. He's a very good father as well, and he reflects the characteristics I'm now praying for in my life partner.

Here are some of my favorite lines:

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."

Atticus, on teaching his children to keep their heads together even when taunted-
"...it's not fair for you and Jem, I know that, but sometimes we have to make of the best of things, and the way we conduct ourselves when the chips are down..."

Atticus, on explaining his decision to defend Tom Robinson's case to Scout, when most of the people think that he's wrong-
"They're certainly entitled to think that, and they're entitled to full respect of their opinions, but before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience."

Atticus reprimanding Jem-
"There was no point in saying sorry if you aren't."

Atticus, when Scout asked him if he was a nigger-lover-
"I certainly am. I do my best to love everybody...I'm hard put, sometimes- baby, it's never an insult to be called what somebody thinks is a bad name. It just shows you how poor that person is, it doesn't hurt you."

Atticus, on explaining to Jem why he made her read to Mrs. Dubose, even though she's saying undesirable things to him and Scout about themselves and their father-
"I wanted you to see something about her- I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win but sometimes, you do."

And this is the line where God revealed something to me...

Atticus, talking to his brother, on his children being the object of ridicule because he's defending Tom Robinson in court-
"I just hope that Jem and Scout come to me for their answers instead of listening to the town. I hope they trust me enough..."

As I was reading it, I thought of Papa, and God, probably sharing the same sentiment as fathers...that whenever we had questions or doubts- about our family, ourselves, our/their character, our lives; they hope that we would turn to them for answers, that we trust them enough to put them first and not listen to the world with all its noise and lies to cloud our reason even before they've helped us to understand. I once was a child like Scout, and was a lot like Scout, with so many thoughts and questions in my head. I turned to my parents for some questions, but the more serious ones, those that involved my emotions and my doubts about their love, I kept to myself, and that was when my issues/demons grew and made me unhappy with myself.

Things are a lot different now, praise God.:)
I still have my demons and more questions are added daily on my list on a lot of things in this world but I know I have a friend/father in God, and I can always turn to him 24/7. He doesn't always give the answers that I want to hear right at that moment when I want to hear it, but I know that He knows what's best, and that I can trust Him to make everything perfect in His time.

Waw...thank you Lord for the new nuggets of wisdom, and for never failing to remind me of the things I have the tendency to forget sometimes. You certainly work in amazing ways! I can just look around, read a book, or listen to a friend, and in all those things and more, I can seek you and I know I'll find you. May I never forget to turn to you foremost- in all things, in every season (good or bad, happy or sad).

With ALL that said...ang dami...haha...I think I'm buying the book after all...someday...hahaha.    

Lovin' Cello's Doughnuts

I finally got to taste Cello's doughnuts today! I've been wanting to go to their Katipunan branch, which I thought was the nearest and most accessible branch for me, but as I was walking through SM North Edsa awhile ago to go to Trinoma, I spotted their very cute orange stall and it was an opportunity I just couldn't pass.

I got these two flavors :) :

Pictures are from Cello's website, as I was too excited to take pictures of my own coveted doughnuts.

They were delicious and could definitely compete with Krispy Creme in terms of flavor and the softness/texture of the dough. I haven't tasted their other flavors but Cello's is proudly Filipino so they've already won for me. Micah said their honey-glazed doughnut's similar to Krispy Kreme's but I'm definitely going back for their cheese and also to try out other flavors. I got my doughnuts for take out in their very cute orange bag but someone told me that they taste even better when warm so I'd keep that in mind next time. Doughnuts have also been our signature pasalubong to Papa whenever we'd go home to the province. We've brought home different brands but I'd definitely have him try this on our next vacation.

Thank you Lord for this day, for new opportunities, for money to spend, and for delicious food I can share with my loved ones!

Haircut for Free!

My sister Micah and I got a free haircut yesterday on one obvious condition:)

I've always sported short hair when I was young. I've never been one who keeps a comb or hairbrush in tow all the time so a short do fits me; but I've only tried a pixie cut once when I was in Grade 4. It was more forced actually because when Mama took me to the beauty parlor:D that afternoon, I had no idea I would go home looking like this...hahaha

Mama said I wasn't combing my hair so it was best to have my hair kept that short. It actually felt like a punishment- Dahil di ka marunong magsuklay, ganyan dapat ang buhok mo! My immature friends and neighbors made fun of it the moment they saw me and started calling me Kato (my nickname's Katy)...hahaha. I'm laughing at it now but I kept crying then with all their teasing so Mama never had it that way again. I don't know if she was trying to teach me a lesson but at 4th grade, it really just wasn't on top of my priorities..haha. It could be that she just thought the pixie cut was best. Ate Angel thought so too a few days ago so she offered to pay for my and Micah's haircut.

It was after highschool that I started to grow my hair, cutting it short every now and then but making sure that I can still tie it. Some people at the salon were looking at us yesterday, some even making comments about all the hair we were wasting; but I feel good:). I was still ambivalent yesterday but now I'm positive that I like my hair, not just because there's nothing I can do about it but because I really like it:) Thank you Lord for Ate's insistence, for this opportunity for change, and for hair that we can cut anyway we want and just grow back in a few months. I won't wait 14 years again 'til my next pixie cut, and I think I'd go even shorter next time:)

Ilovedoodle

Of all the blogging sites available, I've always loved, and been proud to have chosen Blogger. It suits my needs and wants perfectly, I never had a problem with it until now...huhu

That was my drama moment at work last Monday night when I thought I couldn't post ilovedoodle.com's amazing artworks here. Thank God for drafts, and for the frustration I felt then that made me give up on this post that night. I'm at home today and decided to try it again and I was able to download it so easily. I guess that's what I get for doing beyond work stuff during office hours..haha.

I also have a Tumblr account but I only use it for viewing purposes and the moment I saw this, I fell in love:)

Hi-5 chain

Stars are among my favorite things in the world. I don't know why but I'm just drawn to them. I never had this awesome idea but I've always imagined reaching out to a star, or be face-to-face with one (yeah, Stardust fan here..haha). The idea this image proposes is definitely more creative, and more feasible (well, not really...but come on!) and if only I could hi-5 with the bear, I could actually make my dream happen...haha...

I saw another one of his works again the other day which made me realize that he's been around my dashboard for a very long time. He's famous among my friends and the other bloggers I follow. It's just that I had to see this picture to have the desire to look him up and more of his works. And now I'm a fan!

Lim Heng Swee aka Ilovedoodle

Hello, my name is Lim Heng Swee. I am an illustrator and visual artist living and working in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

I have been working as an illustrator since 2003. I love doodling, this is why all these started.
Thru illustrations and designs, i hope i’ll be able to doodle a smile on people’s face.

Source: http://ilovedoodle.com/wp/about/

Here are more of his lovely works and some of my favorites:

Acrobatic Ice cream

Cheer up your Life

Dandelions

Left brain and Right brain

Peace is delicious

Why does the moon follow me?

Why I wake up late every morning

Souce: ilovedoodle.tumblr.com

I hope to buy an art print from him in the future. Check out his site too and fall in love:)

Making it BIG

My writing mojo seems to have ran out, I could hardly blog or write anything on my journal for the past weeks. First I became busy, then sick, then lazy even when I had some free time. I've actually been browsing the net daily, with emphasis on 'browsing' but I found comfort in just reading, without having to express my thoughts, just taking it all in and letting go of some in my mind, not a word spoken, nor a thought written.

But today's different, or more like I want it to be different. It's Holy Monday, my 3rd day of solitude with Ate and Micah already enjoying themselves in La Union, and my second day of prayer and fasting. I'm done with my morning prayer and devotion, a lot of chores are waiting to be accomplished, and my stomach's beginning to bother me a bit...haha, but I want to keep a record of my recent learning before it gets to the back of my mind.

Yesterday Grace and I were chatting in the church after sharing our Kairos growth points as well as our answers to the reflection questions given to us. I told her I really want to be able to read the entire Bible this year so instead of doing it by book the way I've been doing it in the past years, I thought it was best to begin with Genesis and approach it like a big story book that you read from cover to cover. And that's what I do each day, at times reading more or less; and though I wished I had the inner strength to write my insights as well (will probably work on that next year when I read another translation), I've actually been successful so far in keeping my commitment and I'm currently on 1 Samuel, so glad that I decided to do this, and now seeing the stories I thought I know so well since I was young, in a different perspective.

 my big commitment

pictures of some parts of the booklet taken with my nanginginig sa gutom hands..haha

After our Kairos session we had the launching of the first day of our week-long prayer and fasting in observance of the Holy Week. While I want to spend time with the Lord in prayer and fasting, a part of my mind was worried and hesitant because it was in conflict with my most-awaited vacation in the province. I still remember exactly how I felt while I was filling up the type of fast I was going to commit. I was laughing with Liza and Razelle because they too had the same dilemma...haha

Yesterday, I already fasted breakfast in preparation for my worship leading that morning and I was actually looking forward to lunch so I was tempted at first to commit to skip only one meal and make that the breakfast I've already missed. I knew it was for a different purpose so I was led to finally check One Meal only, which I've decided to keep until Tuesday. I'll be coming home on Wednesday so from then on and for the remaining days I've decided to write Internet Fast on Others. While I'm confident that I can do the One Meal only fast, I also would like to be able to show value to the few precious days I'll be spending with Papa by eating all meals with them.

With all that arranged, I was ready, but I also knew in my heart that I was doing it halfheartedly. I spent the entire afternoon watching t.v. and when evening came, my body wanted so much to just sleep and ditch praying and reading the Word again, reasoning out with myself that we were done with it in church anyway. But I thank the Lord for His grace, and with Him as the strength of my heart, I was able to muster the discipline I needed to take a few minutes to read once again, pray, and reflect.

I then realized that I was more vulnerable to all these temptations because I wasn't sure with myself if I would do it. I've done it before so I can do it, but I needed time to settle with myself if I want to do it, and if I would actually do it. I haven't made the BIG decision, that's why I had trouble making the smaller ones. My Bible-reading project has been successful because I've already made the BIG decision of doing it. I do encounter obstacles daily and there were days that I really wasn't able to read even a few verses but they were just temporary hindrances; I could easily bounce back because in my heart and mind I've already RESOLVED to DO IT. The same goes with all the decisions and commitments I have made in the past- it was easier to make the line-up when I've made the BIG DECISION to lead worship wholeheartedly, I could wake up and prepare myself without a heavy heart when I've made up my mind that I would go to work that day, I'm more patient in doing the chores when I've set my mind on doing them...

It's when I haven't made the BIG DECISION that it became easier to make compromises. When I'm halfhearted about something, I had a lot of reasons and I always found a way to tweak it and make things easier for myself. I now understand why some habits I've been trying to break keep coming back, it's because I still haven't made the solid decision to STOP. Looking back, I've always known this, but it's only now that I've made the BIG decision to acknowledge it as a TRUTH in my life.

Thankfully, my God is patient. When He made the big offer to save me, it was for eternity, and though I've hurt him many times in the past and still do, his love for me is steadfast, never letting go, always allowing me to learn and realize my sin, and always waiting for me to return to his warm embrace in forgiveness. And so now I'm sticking with my prayer and fasting commitment. It won't be easy, I KNOW..haha, but with the BIG decision made and with God's grace, what seemed to be a huge sacrifice has now become my humble offering to the Lord; compromises have become unacceptable; and most of all, what used to be strong and loud hunger pangs seemed like normal, beautiful gurgles I welcome and look forward to having...okay, that's not true, that's just me encouraging myself...haha

But I really pray that from here on I would always be reminded to make the BIG decision, with accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior as the biggest of them all. In my walk with Him, I'll surely encounter many obstacles (most of them self-inflicted slash my fault), but I'm determined to make it BIG with my BIG God (no one compares:) and be the best 'good and faithful servant' I can be.

Tests and Triumphs

I'm home and chillin' on a Monday night, praise God! I ditched work, with leave notice of course, but the decision came just as I was preparing to go. I have my Ate Angel to thank for this peaceful restful night, for telling me to just come to work tomorrow :) And because I feel the need to justify myself, in all fairness naman, I was up and about all day, studying in the morning, and settling requirements+exams in the evening.

The past 3 weeks have been among the fastest days of my life. It was a phase of transition that I welcomed and prayed for, that had it's share of stresses and challenges, but which certainly did not overwhelm my realization of God's floods of blessings in my life. 

The past 3 weeks gave me a preview of how my life would go a few weeks from now (fingers crossed) when I finally go back to being a hospital nurse. I was always tired, I actually now have a higher threshold for tiredness and pain, but I felt at home, learning as I work and loving what I do.

Tomorrow I'll be back temporarily to being an office/remote monitoring nurse. It's a field I never thought I'd be doing at the beginning of my nursing career, but God had different plans, and I'll make sure to write a post about my TechTouch, Inc. family when my time with them is over, for more drama...haha

So what I'm trying to arrive at with this post...umm...I guess I just want to proclaim how good God is in my life. On top of the blessing of being able to work, I've recently had BIG, MAJOR lessons in honesty, compassion, patience, trust, love, respect, and selflessness through the experiences I've had with my patients and coworkers. It is very very very difficult to do what is right at all times and I do fail most of the time no matter how good my intentions are. There are worse moments- when I have this strong impulse to just leave things as they are and just think about myself alone; but I thank God that He is faithful, that His love always reminds me of my responsibility to love others too, and that even though what's right is so hard and painful to do, I must do it, because when I do, He has also promised that I won't be doing it alone.

Jesus, thank you for carrying me through :) All the challenges, I know they're for my good because I felt in the past weeks na bumabait po talaga ako...hahaha. I know you won't test me beyond what I can endure so as I let you take full control of my life, help me do as I should, for the love of you, and for the glory of your name.

Here's a song about allowing God to change our lives from glory to glory.
Jesus, may it always be your heart within me beating for the people I serve and meet each day.
I'm still masungit, but I've improved a lot already with your guidance so I'm positive that I'll get to 'MOST KIND' one day:)

So Blessed

Waaah...what can I say?!... I'm elated, excited, with just a bit of sadness that usually comes with big changes in my life. This day marks my very soon comeback to being Maam Katy again...and no, not as a teacher...kundi bilang isang NARS...hahaha!

Thank you Lord! Haay Lord, the irony of life talaga. Just a few weeks ago, I was again attacked by feelings of inadequacy, impatience, and not seeming to have a clear direction in life. And just as when I surrendered them all to you once again, here you go, surprising me with the best of surprises, and proving to me that you are at my life's helm; therefore, I shall not want, I shall not doubt, I shall not feel weary...

Naiiyak na naman po ako...haha...so once again, THANK YOU! not just for this blessing, but for taking full control of my life. I hope to pay it forward soon:)

I love you very much!

,Katy:)

Reference: Watercolor Painting

I still haven't given up on my dream to take up painting as a hobby someday...haha..and I found this blog site by watercolor and mixed media artist that generously offers painting tips and lessons. I cannot understand some of the terminologies though; but I still would like to keep a link to the site here in case I forget in future.

JohnLovett.com

Watercolor was also the medium that I used when I first gave painting a shot in high school...at kahit cheap lang ang watercolor ko, my artistic side miraculously came out and it made me begin to think that I am not left-handed for nothing..:)

Like me, you also probably had this watercolor brand..haha..I don't know if this is the cheapest brand available and it's also difficult to use compared to the tube kind...medyo effort to mix it with water, dapat ikiskis ang brush sa matigas na color palette; given that, it's even more difficult to mix the colors, but my childhood/elementary years would probably be incomplete without having experienced using this...and with the free brush, pasok sa value for money...haha:)

                                             Source

I was in high school when I discovered the kind in tubes, which, over this palette of hard watercolor slabs, would certainly get my vote. I hope to try other kinds in the future when I get the chance to take painting seriously. My sisters would just probably laugh at me again for all this painting dream baloney but I intend to do the things that make me happy little by little. Habang may buhay, may pag-asa,  so with a strong conviction, I really believe that I'll be able to paint again someday:)

Perfect Love

A lot of things have been going on in my mind lately, well all the time...haha...and it has not been all positive these past days. But I won't be sharing a piece of my not so inspiring and encouraging thoughts here because I want to maintain this blog  as a ball of positivity mainly for myself, and who knows, for others as well. It wasn't the case when I started, and I still have the urge to rant every now and then, but here's me training my mind with God's grace, to focus on happy thoughts, and to fight the unnecessary ones that do nothing but make me feel down.

So let me share with you my current life verse-

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear...

1 John 4:18

Fears- I have many of them. I used to have more, weird ones included. When I was in 3rd year college, I was  already stressing myself on the 'need' to get married and have a baby at 28 in my desire to decrease my risk factors for having breast cancer. I was also a worrier then. My attitude then was I loved God and I trusted Him but what if...I mean, there's nothing wrong in taking precautions just to make sure...

It seemed the best way to go, especially for someone like me who has more Type A than Type B personality characteristics in many situations. Yes, I am sigurista- someone who avoids stress by ensuring that things are planned well. It's not for all situations but I'm like this with the serious stuff, medyo sumosobra nga lang minsan ...haha

But I thank God that his grace is sufficient and his love, overflowing, that He has and is continually guiding me in my faith journey. I don't know when exactly but one day (with lots of praying, Bible reading, hearing the Word in church, and encouragement from my small group/cell group), I just gave it all up. I surrendered all my  fears and worries to Him, and He gave me extraordinary peace and joy in return. He used a lot of people to bless me and teach me a lot of things (my Mama Susie and Mama Josie stand out among them) and I also have been rebuked and have shed buckets of tears in the process but I will never give up the joy that fills my heart now.

I'm a work in progress and I still have lots of fears, but whether they're understandable or unnecessary, I try not to make a big fuss of them anymore. In not so good days like yesterday, I know I could always turn to a good- the best God and allow His perfect unfaltering love to drive out all my fears; because though I can never be sure of so many things in my life, I can always hold on and gather strength in his unwavering promise and unconditional love for me.

I love you very much Lord!:) 

Snapshots of Love

It's a lovely Wednesday indeed! Especially with wonderful couple- Patrick Filart and Patty Laurel's pre-nup photos out!

Click here to view the album, or visit dapattylaurel.blogspot.com for more fun posts from this favorite blogger of mine:)

Hello February!

It's the 2nd of February, how time flies!

And though I did not intend to, I was up all night viewing wedding and pre-nup/engagement photos at MangoRed's and Catilo's sites. My officemates were already teasing that I would be getting married soon, to which I would answer "Wala nga akong boyfriend, asawa pa kaya." They said it must have been an effect of the February vibe- love, romance and stuff but the possible connection wouldn't even have crossed my mind if they hadn't mentioned about it.



Well, in truth, looking at photo galleries is something that I do not always do; but when I do, I could really spend a big part of my time just looking at one picture after another. So here's one of my favorite wedding videos:

February or not, I feel the love! haha
And no, I won't go looking for love...and I still don't think 2012 is my year for it; I just know that when the time is right, God would orchestrate his divine plan that would bring me and my destined partner together, and He would also put a yearning in my heart to be with him. There's the possibility that I know him and he knows me already, I just haven't shone in his eyes...haha

'Til then, I'll be waiting and preparing, with all the hope and love in my heart...:)

Reminding myself to BE CAREFUL

I'm currently typing with my fingers on 'modified home keys position'. Thanks to the strict discipline applied by my computer teacher/uncle/ninong Kuya Erick in third grade, my fingers are very much at home, glued over the 'home keys' (redundant..haha), enabling me to type with my eyes on the screen and not on the keyboard. It has to be modified temporarily though because I accidentally caught my pinkie in the door awhile ago and now it's painful and inflamed, with some dried blood on the sides.

*I've actually taken a picture of it, but decided not to post it anymore. Dapat positive pa rin. I don't need a reminder of my lack of judgment. In short, ampangit lang ng hitsura...haha

No, I wouldn't consider this accident blog-worthy and yes, I am ranting...haha...because this latest minor injury of mine just seemed to be the icing on top of the cake of the many other minor injuries I've had since 2012 started.

I used to think I'm a klutz with fast reflexes- now I'm just a klutz who's just blessed that I haven't (and pray that I won't ever) messed up severely or hurt myself in a major way. My poor hand grip and carelessness has been bothering me and Ate for a long time now that I've finally decided to make BE CAREFUL! as my primary 2012 New Year's resolution. The fact that I'm ranting now speaks much already of how unsuccessful I've been...haha. To date, I have burns on my hands and tongue that I could have avoided had I exercised caution. A recent cut of mine just healed, and this I got even before another cut that preceded it healed completely. I hurt my knee and my head a lot of times too, bumping edges and surfaces I also could have avoided. I've also dropped and spilled foods and fluids in the kitchen and dining table and each time any of these things happen, I remember my resolution and my disappointment would be twice as much than in a normal situation.

The funny thing is that the frequency of the accidents I've incurred seem to have doubled since I've resolved to be careful. I thought that maybe just writing it on a journal wasn't enough to get it done so I've decided to write it here as well, hoping that this would finally seal the deal for me.

Katrina naman kasi (self-reflecting), be very very very very careful! Let the prudence that you exercise in making BIG decisions manifest in the smaller ones that you do each day. You're not a mutant so remember to use the pot holder, to blow/cool down any dish before tasting it, to be conscious of your surroundings and avoid  bumping unnecessary edges especially hot surfaces to lessen your burns and how-did-I-get-this bruises, to focus on what your hands are holding to avoid absent-mindedly dropping them, to stop your habit of carrying a variety of things at once to the kitchen or the dining table in your desire to save time and energy, and to exercise CAUTION if you want to live a peaceful injury-free life in the coming years. In your desire to be a very good cook, I have faith that you will acquire better knife skills in time but you have to be careful if you want your fingers to remain intact 'til that day comes. Take care of yourself as much as you take care of others so you could care for them better and keep on caring for them.

O ayan, here's to hoping that I'd really be more careful. Lord help me.

How Will You Measure Your Life

I'm no business person, but the lessons in this article are worth reading and sharing, whatever career/profession you have, or circumstance you might be in right now...

Think about the metric by which your life will be judged, and make a resolution to live every day so that in the end, your life will be judged a success.

Harvard Business Review- How Will You Measure Your Life

Here's to living life to the fullest and with purpose, this 2012 and for the years to come.

Merry Christmas from the Paglicawans! (2011)

It's obviously so late for this post but what's 2011 without my favorite time of the year- CHRISTMAS! Every year we spend it with our relatives on Papa's side with the 10 siblings (Papa's ninth) taking turns in hosting the ever improving Paglicawan Christmas Reunion!...haha

It was held in Mamburao, Occidental Mindoro last year (still referring to 2011) and it was such a fun, definitely memorable and laughter-filled event. As usual, the foods were overflowing with lechon, different kinds of fishes (bangus, tapas), shrimps, a variety of pork dishes, make-your-own vegetable salad, plus the usual pansit, spaghetti, ham, fruit salad, buko pandan, bibingka, ube halaya, the local specialty aroz with ibos, and a lot more. We are a few short of a hundred in total- that's all my aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, and nieces combined although not everyone's present all the time. But the food's always more than sufficient to feed us all- most of us being certified 'above average eaters' at that. I remember when it was our turn to host the reunion, there were more than 60 of our relatives (yaya's included) in attendance and you can just imagine how every meal, even the regular ones, seemed like a feast.

But I guess we would all agree that we also laugh like we never do when we're in each other's company. All of us always look forward to our annual reunion because it would most certainly be a blast. And through the years, we have improved! We now have Christmas shirts, last year we had bingo, and then next year we will have a raffle apart from the usual exchange gifts and parlor games. They attempted to hold a talent show but we only had two willing contestants...haha. It was already announced early last year but although we would've wanted to join, we could not find the time; and fine, the inspiration, to conceptualize and really practice for a dance or song number. Pero buti na lang at hindi kami nagprepare!; else, we would've competed with our little nephew and nieces' impromptu numbers; agaw pa sa prize...haha

Here are snapshots of our 2011 Christmas reunion:

We skipped to Paluan to have a splash in Calawagan (very cold waters coming straight from the mountains) on the 23rd even just for a day. The one hour-ride from Mamburao was worth it. Paluan is our father's hometown and it's where our lolo and lola's narra house still stands with minor renovations. It's now where my Tito Ler and his family lives, and where most of us stay every time we go there. We had a superb lunch featuring sinampalukang baka and inihaw na tapas.

with my sisters and cousin Tin-tin posing on top of some rock formations...medyo hanglayo

lang ng nilakad namin to indulge Kuya Mak and have this picture taken

our 2011 Christmas family photo:)- always the first part of the program

the remaining 8 of the 10 Paglicawan siblings- they're 9 thorns and a rose 

 with Lola Ely (their aunt and Lolo Itoy's sister) and their wives and husband; Papa is partnered with Tita Josie, whose husband, Tito Narding, already passed away even before I was born I think; not on photo is Tita Virgie, Tito Oca (who also passed away years ago)'s wife

with emcees Kuya Mak and my eldest niece Kate

I won videoke queen with a score of 100!; and I was also the first contestant so my other cousins tried to add to their scores by dancing while singing, but they still fell short of 100, ang yabang!...haha...the videoke machine seemed to love me because I sang another song and still got 100:)...and my winning piece- Taylor Swift's You Belong with Me! I had my nieces singing with me like in a choir the whole time..haha

My uncles escorted and danced with their only rose, Tita Imba, while Tito Boy, her husband, was singing something with the videoke as part of the contest. She was crying the whole time while we were all laughing. They even did 'pasabit' but in the absence of pins, they inserted the money at the back of her shirt, on the strap of her bag and on her eyeglasses..haha..

the two contenders for the talent contest

Vince showed an impromptu dance in the tune of Teach me How to Dougie while duo Kate and Kc did a well-prepared and well-executed dance in samba tune I think. Kaloka lang ang 'shirt removal' and exhibition ni Vince..haha. They both shared the cash prize equally (obtained right there and then via ambag-ambag) so no one would feel less, and because we're all biased, unworthy judges anyway. 

yes, we laugh hard...and ugly...haha

on the ferry ride home

We all dread the journey forth and back but when we're there, and with each other, all the hassles we encountered would all just fade in the background of fun and laughter. We don't have big shops and malls in Paluan and the electricity is only available for a scheduled time every day but we have a lot of those here in Manila so it's just refreshing to have even just a short opportunity to bum, eat-all-you-can, enjoy the scenery, breathe fresh air, and tan ourselves soaking in the beaches and rivers. 

Going home to the province gets more and more difficult every year with work and other things getting in the way but we all try our best to clear our schedule for 2-3 days to celebrate Christmas together. We get bigger and louder every year, with new nephews, nieces or adopted cousins joining our tribe; as the celebration also seem to get more and more complicated. But whatever new games or surprises we may add to the program, on the day of the reunion itself we would always find ourselves going back to the basics, but that's not to say that the plans for some additions don't seem to push through. Some do and some don't but it doesn't really matter, we're family and whatever we do together would surely be fun. Food and videoke (the usual staples) are just all it would take; because with our gratefulness to Christ and our love for each other in our hearts, we're a party in a box.

And I am looking forward to all the Paglicawan Christmas reunions to come!