My Secret Place

A few moments ago, I thought I needed to write down my thoughts because I was feeling sad and disappointed. A few minutes later, meaning right now, I'm still a bit sad and disappointed, but no longer with a heavy heart.

I'm beginning to hate group works, because the results are not as predictable as when I do things on my own. Like the recent shifting exam in Patho where I didn't do very well, it's very clear to me that the failure part was all on me. I crammed the review, and that I even got a fair score was all thanks to God. But with group works, you can give it your best and think that it would probably yield the best results, but it won't be the case if others don't deliver and in the end, you all fail together.

And for someone like me who values fairness in all things (at least as much as possible), this is really disappointing. I specifically organized and provided what the others were supposed to include in the project, but when the final output came out, it wasn't there, and true enough, the evaluator looked for it. What's more disappointing about it was the effort I put in to research on that information. I was tempted to ask why they did not include it, but knowing that it will not change anything, I stopped myself and just reflected on my sadness for the rest of the lab period and on the way home.

 And when I arrived, Alfie met me and I just started to cry out to the Lord all these frustrations. And as I prayed, I was reminded to focus on giving and not on receiving, and to just keep doing my best, focusing on the things I can control and surrendering all those that I cannot. What I do, I do foremost for God's glory, and as I keep on seeking Him, I know all my labor will not be in vain.

I am also grateful that in sad, frustrating, and draining moments such as this, just like what it says in Phil Wickham's song Secret Place, I have the Lord to run to, and I can be sure that He will meet me  and renew me once again...

And I thank you Lord giving me Alfie who is a small but important part of my secret place. It was when he came to me to be cuddled that I began to cry, and it was while looking at him playing on the floor that I found myself smiling again. Thank you for the things that you teach me through him, and for making me feel better just by looking at him..hehe

Thank you Lord!