Praise God for a very Merry Christmas vacation here in the very laid-back province of Mamburao, Occidental Mindoro! I've already caught up with the sleep I missed the past week and I'm very much looking forward to our family reunion on the 25th...yey!
So before I get busy again, allow me to say thank you Lord for this privilege to be with my dear loved ones this season. Since I've embraced being a nurse in a hospital, I have already prepared myself but remained hopeful that while some important dates have to be sacrificed, some wishes/requests will be granted, and it will all happen according to God's will. But thank you Lord that you have overwhelmingly honored my desire to be with family this year:)
I am beginning to have thoughts of greater wishes...and I'm a bit afraid, but as I hold on to the hope that I have in you, I know that you'll take care of everything- because you always have perfect timing, and you always will what's best for me!
Thank you and I love you Jesus! Happy birthday!
'Reading makes a full man.'(FrancisBacon)...but this read is an exception:p
Monday, December 23, 2013
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Research x 1
Praise God!
Today, December 11, 2013, is a special day as it marks my first try as a legit 'researcher'...haha..I joined the Annual Research Forum in our hospital and the entire process- from having the proposal approved, doing the data gathering, to submitting the paper and waiting for the results, was quite a stress, and if not for God's peace that transcends all understanding, ewan ko na lang. Now that I think about it, this is probably one of the reasons why I missed my period last November, and now that the forum's done, I'm praying that I could get back to my regular cycle again.
But back to the forum, I'm very very happy because I won! I joined the Prospective category and out of 7 papers, I was 2nd place! Yey! But it isn't all me because I got a lot of help....on second thought, it's entirely not me, it's all God, who gave me the strength, the passion, the wisdom, the perseverance and many other things I didn't have, plus the big bonus of having a bunch of people who lent a hand in the different phases of this tedious journey.
All I can say is, research is not for the weak-hearted. Most things are difficult to begin or end, but this one's difficult all throughout. But it's also a very rewarding experience, and I'm actually looking forward to doing it again soon, while looking for ways on how I could share the results of my study to other nurses or healthcare institutions as well.
But the reason I'm recording it here now is to remind myself and to let others know that throughout this entire journey, God has been very good to me, and I could no longer keep count of how many times I talked to Him, to Jesus and the Holy Spirit to help me deal with the raging thoughts and feelings inside me. This annual forum and my research has been on our list of prayer items for months now, not just in our weekly family prayer but also in my two cell groups so quota talaga kami sa pray unceasingly...haha.
I also had a lot of challenges but God has proven himself greater than any of them. There were weeks when I felt that he was teasing me, when I would be scheduled to lead worship in church before my big deadlines. I also admit that I was afraid when I learned that there were 7 of us who submitted papers under the prospective category knowing that they were all doctors and I was the only nurse. But I was comforted by the belief that God is great, and the more contenders, the more opportunity for Him to be glorified if I win.
But in all those times that I prayed or asked people to pray, I always told God that while I would probably be a bit sad, I wouldn't love him any less if he did not give me what I wanted because I know that His will is best. Pero buti na lang my desires are in line with his will, and although I admit and am sorry that I still worried a lot (being the melancholic that I am), I now realize that with the obstacles came opportunities for God to display his power...and once I tell this news as a testimony, he will be glorified even more because a lot of people prayed with me, so it's a collectively answered prayer for all of us!:)
Another amazing thing that happened this morning by the way was I was able to deliver the presentation excellently. Knowing myself, that is indeed the power of the Holy Spirit working in me. Not once did I buckle, and I was also able to answer all the questions from the judges. As I was speaking, even I was amazed at how God gives wisdom, speaking abilities, and many other usually-not-present-traits, to those who would earnestly ask. I think faster than I speak or write, and even as I type right now, the words in my head have the tendency to jumble such that I mix up the sequence of the statements, with my most recent thought overtaking what I was preparing to write.So what happened this morning, it was a miracle, and I really am in awe.
What I feel right now is depicted in the lines of the song The More I Seek You by Kari Jobe which says:
P.S. I hope to update this post soon and add some pictures once I've grabbed them from Maam Claud!
Today, December 11, 2013, is a special day as it marks my first try as a legit 'researcher'...haha..I joined the Annual Research Forum in our hospital and the entire process- from having the proposal approved, doing the data gathering, to submitting the paper and waiting for the results, was quite a stress, and if not for God's peace that transcends all understanding, ewan ko na lang. Now that I think about it, this is probably one of the reasons why I missed my period last November, and now that the forum's done, I'm praying that I could get back to my regular cycle again.
But back to the forum, I'm very very happy because I won! I joined the Prospective category and out of 7 papers, I was 2nd place! Yey! But it isn't all me because I got a lot of help....on second thought, it's entirely not me, it's all God, who gave me the strength, the passion, the wisdom, the perseverance and many other things I didn't have, plus the big bonus of having a bunch of people who lent a hand in the different phases of this tedious journey.
All I can say is, research is not for the weak-hearted. Most things are difficult to begin or end, but this one's difficult all throughout. But it's also a very rewarding experience, and I'm actually looking forward to doing it again soon, while looking for ways on how I could share the results of my study to other nurses or healthcare institutions as well.
But the reason I'm recording it here now is to remind myself and to let others know that throughout this entire journey, God has been very good to me, and I could no longer keep count of how many times I talked to Him, to Jesus and the Holy Spirit to help me deal with the raging thoughts and feelings inside me. This annual forum and my research has been on our list of prayer items for months now, not just in our weekly family prayer but also in my two cell groups so quota talaga kami sa pray unceasingly...haha.
I also had a lot of challenges but God has proven himself greater than any of them. There were weeks when I felt that he was teasing me, when I would be scheduled to lead worship in church before my big deadlines. I also admit that I was afraid when I learned that there were 7 of us who submitted papers under the prospective category knowing that they were all doctors and I was the only nurse. But I was comforted by the belief that God is great, and the more contenders, the more opportunity for Him to be glorified if I win.
But in all those times that I prayed or asked people to pray, I always told God that while I would probably be a bit sad, I wouldn't love him any less if he did not give me what I wanted because I know that His will is best. Pero buti na lang my desires are in line with his will, and although I admit and am sorry that I still worried a lot (being the melancholic that I am), I now realize that with the obstacles came opportunities for God to display his power...and once I tell this news as a testimony, he will be glorified even more because a lot of people prayed with me, so it's a collectively answered prayer for all of us!:)
Another amazing thing that happened this morning by the way was I was able to deliver the presentation excellently. Knowing myself, that is indeed the power of the Holy Spirit working in me. Not once did I buckle, and I was also able to answer all the questions from the judges. As I was speaking, even I was amazed at how God gives wisdom, speaking abilities, and many other usually-not-present-traits, to those who would earnestly ask. I think faster than I speak or write, and even as I type right now, the words in my head have the tendency to jumble such that I mix up the sequence of the statements, with my most recent thought overtaking what I was preparing to write.So what happened this morning, it was a miracle, and I really am in awe.
What I feel right now is depicted in the lines of the song The More I Seek You by Kari Jobe which says:
The more I seek you
The more I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you
...
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand
I melt in your peace
It's overwhelming
You are amazing God! Thank you for never giving up on healing my worrisome heart and for patiently dealing with my flaws so that each day, I could become more and more like your faithful daughter. Thank you for always pushing my fears away with your love, and for assuring me with your multitude of promises and your wonderful surprises/miracles each day! I love you!
Friday, November 29, 2013
Happy Thanksgiving!
God is good! And he has given me so many reasons to be grateful and I'd like to say a few ones before snooze time:
- Thank you Lord for healing me. I haven't had fever in a while, in a killer collaboration with sore throat at that, and it's my first time to beg off work since I joined NKTI, because I was feeling so cold and weak I could hardly do anything productive. But you healed me so fast. Thank you po dahil tama ang prescription ni Doc C_____!...kahit diskumpiyado po ako nung una...hehe
- Thank you Lord for the gift of family- for Papa, Ate Angel and Micah. I remember lines from my favorite poem whenever I reflect on how blessed I am to have them...
- Thank you Lord for healing me. I haven't had fever in a while, in a killer collaboration with sore throat at that, and it's my first time to beg off work since I joined NKTI, because I was feeling so cold and weak I could hardly do anything productive. But you healed me so fast. Thank you po dahil tama ang prescription ni Doc C_____!...kahit diskumpiyado po ako nung una...hehe
- Thank you Lord for the gift of family- for Papa, Ate Angel and Micah. I remember lines from my favorite poem whenever I reflect on how blessed I am to have them...
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not His
To the Father through the features of men’s faces
...they bear your image for me, and I know more and more each day how much you love me because of them:)
- Thank you Lord for your providence! Thank you for allowing us to be of help to others as channels of your blessings. We have big faith goals by the end of the year and next year, but we know that if it is you who have planted these desires in our hearts, then you'll also help us find a way to make them happen, and we can only be excited for the surprises you have in store for us!
Father, my thoughts and emotions are not hidden from you, and every now and then, I admit that I still get sad about things I do not have, or I wish I could have gotten. But thank you for always forgiving me, and for always helping me pick up myself, by reminding me of who you are, what you have done for me, and what you have promised to do for me.
Again, I love you and thank you! not just today, but every day and every moment, for your unfailing love that endures forever!
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Comfort for God's People
It's been a long time since my birthday, and since my last post...not that I've been lacking of milestones in my life, but I've somehow gone back to writing on my journal :)
...somehow, because it still isn't regular and is only reserved for a few of my devotional readings, but this morning, I felt that I should express it here in the hope of sharing it with people other than those in my cell group.
As I opened my Bible, the Lord led me to Isaiah 40, fittingly entitled Comfort for God's People. I am almost done reading the entire Bible, picking up where I left off last year as this was one of my 2012 resolves that I only partially achieved; and now I'm in the Book of Revelation. But having read this book before, I'm taking my time knowing that much wisdom is required in understanding God's Word about the last days through John. And at the rate I'm going, I'm still far from the most comforting parts.
Comfort...yes, I have been seeking for comfort, because even though we, in Metro Manila, have not been directly hit by typhoon Yolanda and even though none of our relatives have been affected by the super typhoon, I cannot help, as a Filipino, but feel for our countrymen. The current state of relief operations is not at all comforting, and every now and then, I get a message or see a post asking for help and prayers for relatives of friends, missionaries, and other people who have not yet been found, have died, or have been saved but are in dire need of support to help them start all over again.
Isaiah 40 starts with
1 Comfort, comfort my people, says your God- speaking to the people of Jerusalem, and now speaking to us
The verses that followed may not seem comforting at first look, as it described how great God is, and how people and nations are regarded by him as worthless, and less than nothing(v.17, NIV).
Then it takes a turn beginning v. 27, speaking to all the Israelites who complained that their cause is disregarded by God, comforting them with these words:
And it is true, while there is nothing that we can do, or offer to God that he needs from us; in His great and unfathomable wisdom, he still reaches out to us, assuring that we can hope in Him who knows and sees everything, and He shall renew our strength like that of an eagle, running but not growing weary, or faint.
The daily news on the television allows us to see different faces of loss, and I for one, know how it feels to lose a loved one, though not with all your properties at the same time. But what moves me to rummage through my clothes and set aside part of my income to send help to them, are the people who in the face of anguish, still hold on to the hope that the Lord who saved their earthly lives, would help them renew it as well. It is also my prayer that those who would receive our help would not just be supported physically, but would be blessed where it matters most, as they come to know of the living water that never runs out, that overflowing source of hope saying that each day is a new day, and that wonderful things are yet to come from Him whose love and compassion never fails.
I was personally blessed just yesterday, as I desired to give more (in my workplace and in the church) and provide help through different agencies as they catered to different needs of different people. I already got my 13th month pay and cash gift yesterday (my first time as Nurse I, yey!) and for me, it was God speaking to me and expressing that he is pleased with what I want to do, so he enabled me to do it.
Thank you Lord for this privilege of letting others know of your love through me and my family. Open my eyes that I may see more of the ways you would want to use me, and grant me a willing and pure heart that wholeheartedly obeys your commands.
Thank you for providing for us, and for allowing us to be of help and not be the recipients of help. To you be all the glory, honor and thanksgiving!
I urge everyone to continue to pray for our government as well as the private agencies who are in the field, doing their best to deliver and reach all those who are in need. Complaining won't help, as it even takes some of our officials' time to answer to these complaints, which they could have used to direct people in organizing the efforts, and to coordinate with all the groups wanting to help our country. The help we have been receiving, even from the international community, is overwhelming, but let us pray that it will reach our people in time.
P.S.
On a side note, we're going to look at houses today (hopefully our soon to be house!). God has been blessing our family immensely (we finally have a family vehicle!) and I just know that greater things are yet to come from my Lord whose love and faithfulness endures forever. Happy weekend!
...somehow, because it still isn't regular and is only reserved for a few of my devotional readings, but this morning, I felt that I should express it here in the hope of sharing it with people other than those in my cell group.
As I opened my Bible, the Lord led me to Isaiah 40, fittingly entitled Comfort for God's People. I am almost done reading the entire Bible, picking up where I left off last year as this was one of my 2012 resolves that I only partially achieved; and now I'm in the Book of Revelation. But having read this book before, I'm taking my time knowing that much wisdom is required in understanding God's Word about the last days through John. And at the rate I'm going, I'm still far from the most comforting parts.
Comfort...yes, I have been seeking for comfort, because even though we, in Metro Manila, have not been directly hit by typhoon Yolanda and even though none of our relatives have been affected by the super typhoon, I cannot help, as a Filipino, but feel for our countrymen. The current state of relief operations is not at all comforting, and every now and then, I get a message or see a post asking for help and prayers for relatives of friends, missionaries, and other people who have not yet been found, have died, or have been saved but are in dire need of support to help them start all over again.
Isaiah 40 starts with
1 Comfort, comfort my people, says your God- speaking to the people of Jerusalem, and now speaking to us
The verses that followed may not seem comforting at first look, as it described how great God is, and how people and nations are regarded by him as worthless, and less than nothing(v.17, NIV).
Then it takes a turn beginning v. 27, speaking to all the Israelites who complained that their cause is disregarded by God, comforting them with these words:
28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
The daily news on the television allows us to see different faces of loss, and I for one, know how it feels to lose a loved one, though not with all your properties at the same time. But what moves me to rummage through my clothes and set aside part of my income to send help to them, are the people who in the face of anguish, still hold on to the hope that the Lord who saved their earthly lives, would help them renew it as well. It is also my prayer that those who would receive our help would not just be supported physically, but would be blessed where it matters most, as they come to know of the living water that never runs out, that overflowing source of hope saying that each day is a new day, and that wonderful things are yet to come from Him whose love and compassion never fails.
I was personally blessed just yesterday, as I desired to give more (in my workplace and in the church) and provide help through different agencies as they catered to different needs of different people. I already got my 13th month pay and cash gift yesterday (my first time as Nurse I, yey!) and for me, it was God speaking to me and expressing that he is pleased with what I want to do, so he enabled me to do it.
Thank you Lord for this privilege of letting others know of your love through me and my family. Open my eyes that I may see more of the ways you would want to use me, and grant me a willing and pure heart that wholeheartedly obeys your commands.
Thank you for providing for us, and for allowing us to be of help and not be the recipients of help. To you be all the glory, honor and thanksgiving!
I urge everyone to continue to pray for our government as well as the private agencies who are in the field, doing their best to deliver and reach all those who are in need. Complaining won't help, as it even takes some of our officials' time to answer to these complaints, which they could have used to direct people in organizing the efforts, and to coordinate with all the groups wanting to help our country. The help we have been receiving, even from the international community, is overwhelming, but let us pray that it will reach our people in time.
P.S.
On a side note, we're going to look at houses today (hopefully our soon to be house!). God has been blessing our family immensely (we finally have a family vehicle!) and I just know that greater things are yet to come from my Lord whose love and faithfulness endures forever. Happy weekend!
Monday, August 5, 2013
Happy 24th!
Today started with a prayer of thanksgiving to God for the new year He has given me...
Just a few hours later, I was already frustrated and was asking God to provide for me a jeep with a vacant seat which He did although medyo badtrip yung driver...
I thought it wasn't a good start of any day especially my birthday, but in the hospital I was greeted warmly by dear co-workers who all wished me well:)...
The day passed by like any work day...
I decided to go with Maam Claud and have dinner with her afterwards...
I got many many birthday greetings from people dear to me:)...
I just got a text requesting for me to lead worship on Sunday...
I tried to beg off because a text message on a Monday night is short notice enough for me...haha
But Lord I'll follow you...
You've given me so much and this is just a small responsibility you're asking from me compared to what You have done and are continuously doing for me...everyday and for eternity:)
So I'll make another wish, please help me come up with a line-up fast..haha..
I praise you Lord and I love you!
Happy Birthday to me!
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
New ID, New Role
I finally got my ID today!; hence, the picture...haha. It's supposed to be the star, but my pacute face seemingly but unintentionally managed to outshine my brand new ID...mwahaha.
I did promise that I would write about my promotion once it became final. I kept on delaying it for weeks but when I got my ID this afternoon, I felt so legit and I figured this would be the perfect and probably my last chance to write about it, else it'll just be among the many milestones and events I failed to document because of my laziness.
I've already gushed about it but I say it again- this promotion is really BIG DEAL for me. My faith goal for this year is to have my foundations set and God has already answered my prayer work-wise by making me a permanent employee of our venerable institution! To be promoted after a year would probably seem lame in an outsider's point of view, but for us nurses and for me most especially, It's a Miracle!...haha. It's not that I'm far from being qualified because I am, but I'm also only one out of the hundreds who are also qualified, with some surely more qualified than I am if years of service would be a top criterion. The delay in the promotion is simply a reality that we had to accept; but as in all waiting periods, whether it's waiting for God or for a mate (naks), one can choose to wait passively or actively. Syempre dun ako sa actively!:) I kept on praying until I was recommended and prayed even harder together with my family as I moved on to the exams, the interview, and finally, the appointment. I also continued to work hard and excellently, grabbing opportunities to aid my colleagues and share whatever I can contribute to our ward and to the department. I know of colleagues though, with similar and for some, even more exemplary work ethic. Why they do not get recommended early on by their head nurses is a mystery to me so I also thank the Lord for my head nurse who was so kind to recommend almost all of us in the ward. Another super thank you Lord for blessing the hands of those who held my paper and supported the recommendation!
And of course, as in all promotions, we are now entitled to benefits we only heard of before; and this is where my testimony on giving comes in. You see, my income is just enough for my self-imposed obligatory savings + expenses. Whenever I receive my salary, I set aside my tithes which is 10 percent foremost, then make do with whatever is left. I used to be so worried about my finances I didn't realize I wasn't trusting God fully to provide all our needs. So one day I made a run down of my expenses: insurance, grocery, market, water, electricity, internet, helper, etc. in my mind and just surrendered it all to God. On top of that, I have also committed to give a certain amount to our church for the missions and to Kuya Carlo, a CCC campus missionary in support of his ministry, in amounts higher that what I was giving last year. With all these responsibilities came a lot of what ifs. But God has provided me with his own versions of what ifs, with the biggest one saying- What if you'd press on in obedience to my call and allow me to work through you?
For me, the benefits that would come with the promotion along with the many other surprises I get here and there is God saying you can't outgive me. It's God telling me- Katy, you made those commitments in faith, now let me show you what I can do because you believed. And truly, we've never lacked anything. Although I had to borrow money from Ate recently to comply with all my requirements for the promotion and to update my licenses, with advance lunch treats included, I am confident that God will make a way for me so I can return the money asap. Also, I am in no way being rushed to pay so I can save up for it little by little without any pressure:)
And just when I thought that was it for the meantime, I was once again surprised with my reassignment from the ward as a staff nurse to the office as a research nurse. I've been there for more than 3 weeks now but still in the process of getting used to the whereabouts involved with the job. I have the nicest colleagues and I certainly have better working conditions. I don't get tired too much physically, but my brain's been getting a lot of work and there are a lot of times when I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. Truth be told, I feel like a novice all over again and I'm inwardly dreading the day when Mam Yet has to leave us for good. Thank God that this time, I know better than to worry. I have supportive heads and colleagues and I know that God has placed me here for a reason. So armed with every weapon I need from Him and drawing assurance from his unfailing love and grace, I'm gonna do my very best to grow where I am planted- giving my all to whatever's assigned to me; learning from my own experiences and others' teachings; sharing whatever talents I have; being a good subordinate, coworker and friend; and most of all, being a servant of Christ.
For the days and months to come, I know I'll be encountering a different set of challenges and changes. But thank you Lord that I can be secured in your unwavering love and grace that only increases with every problem I encounter. You are my refuge, my provider, my miracle worker and my friend; and in your name, I claim that I can do all things through Thee who gives me strength.:)
Saturday, June 1, 2013
As I Wait on You
Beginning this year, June 1 will always be a memorable day for me as today marks my appointment as Nurse 1...woohoo!
It probably seems like a small achievement to some, but for me, it is a testament of God's goodness and faithfulness in fulfilling his promises and wonderful plans for me. Recalling my previous posts more than a year ago, I would oftentimes talk about losing heart and turning to God for strength and courage to wait on him whenever I felt that life wasn't fair especially relating to this job of mine. But as I sat there at the conference room, answering questions from the interview panel just a day after celebrating my first anniversary as Nurse 1-Job Order, my heart was overflowing with so much joy and gratefulness, knowing that it is only through God's grace and favor that I got this far. I look at those seated beside me, at nurses whom I consider as senior colleagues, having seen them during my training days 2-3 years ago and I marvel at how much I am loved by the Big Guy upstairs:)
They say 'Ang galing galing mo naman.', but I proudly said during the interview that I am so grateful, and the glory is God's for this opportunity he has given me. As 1 Cor 1:31 says,
Therefore, as it is written: "Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."
So I say thank you Lord for giving me knowledge, wisdom, and strength each day, and for pulling me through every duty miraculously with little to zero mishap..haha..Thank you for providing me with opportunities to let your line shine brighter through me; and for my supportive immediately family, workmates, and friends who prayed for me and understood my lapses whenever I lacked sleep. And thank you for your perfect timing!!!
It probably seems like a small achievement to some, but for me, it is a testament of God's goodness and faithfulness in fulfilling his promises and wonderful plans for me. Recalling my previous posts more than a year ago, I would oftentimes talk about losing heart and turning to God for strength and courage to wait on him whenever I felt that life wasn't fair especially relating to this job of mine. But as I sat there at the conference room, answering questions from the interview panel just a day after celebrating my first anniversary as Nurse 1-Job Order, my heart was overflowing with so much joy and gratefulness, knowing that it is only through God's grace and favor that I got this far. I look at those seated beside me, at nurses whom I consider as senior colleagues, having seen them during my training days 2-3 years ago and I marvel at how much I am loved by the Big Guy upstairs:)
They say 'Ang galing galing mo naman.', but I proudly said during the interview that I am so grateful, and the glory is God's for this opportunity he has given me. As 1 Cor 1:31 says,
Therefore, as it is written: "Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."
So I say thank you Lord for giving me knowledge, wisdom, and strength each day, and for pulling me through every duty miraculously with little to zero mishap..haha..Thank you for providing me with opportunities to let your line shine brighter through me; and for my supportive immediately family, workmates, and friends who prayed for me and understood my lapses whenever I lacked sleep. And thank you for your perfect timing!!!
I am anticipating, and am somewhat worried of changes to come but I am more excited this time, knowing that wherever you will lead me, you will be with me, and will take care of me.
I love you Jesus!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
God of my Future
Today is another of those special days. God is good- He has always been good to me; and in His immense goodness, beauty, and power, He didn't allow all days to seem regular. Every now and then, he allows challenges to come my way maybe to test me; but more surely, to amaze me and draw me even closer to Him.
Today's supposed to be my panel interview for promotion. I have set this as one of my faith goals for this year and as early as now, He is helping me set my foundations. But that's another story, and I promise to make a full account of it when I finally get promoted.
The interview did not push through and will be rescheduled so we were about to go home when we learned of a free Hepatitis C screening sponsored by the IM Department in our hospital. I honestly did not want to go for fear of a positive result. This fear of mine goes way back- since 4th Year College. Our college organization had a blood letting drive and those who wanted to participate were allowed to be excused from class. Not that I wanted to miss the lecture because that hardly ever happens, but I haven't had any experience in donating blood and I really wanted to try it so I went, passed the initial screening and was allowed to donate blood. I was so happy with what I did and aside from that first time experience, I also got to try how it felt to momentarily lose consciousness, or in our jargon- syncope. It didn't last for a long time, thank God, with all the nurses and doctors who were around me and immediately provided first-aid treatment.
But one of the biggest scares in my life came a month later. Free screening came with our blood donation and the results were sent to our college in white envelopes. The others' results weren't sealed but mine was, and I've already taken a hint from that. When I opened my results, it read that I was POSITIVE for Hepatitis C. We were having our yearbook staff meeting then but I could hardly think anymore. I guess I remained calm on the outside (thinking about it, I really wasn't so sure anymore..haha) but in my mind, I was overwhelmed with fears and worries for myself, for my family, and for many other things which probably didn't really matter. I feared for my career as a nurse, for the pain it would bring to my family, and for my life. Rationalization became my defense mechanism. The moment I got to the dorm, I clung to my books and started reading about Hepatitis C- the course of the disease, the symptoms which I never had, the possible remaining years I had, and the availability of treatment. I had doubts as to how I got it, the disease being blood-borne, but going to Red Cross and talking with one of their staff didn't do me any good, with all that 'this is going to be confidential' serious and sad talk that made me even depressed. I wanted to keep it to myself at first, not wanting to agonize my father, but I needed someone who will listen, and whom I can trust. Also, I needed money to pay for a legitimate laboratory test..haha.
Telling Papa about it however had it's share of pros and cons. Telling him gave me someone who loves me, pray for me; but he was an even worse worrier (baka melancholic din si papa) than I was and I felt guilty for being the cause of his sleepless nights, and knowing Papa, probably a significant amount of tears as well. Subjecting myself to a proper diagnostic test was a test of courage in itself, not knowing what awaits me, but there was no other way to confirm or negate it so I did it; trusting God and praying hard, and clinging to his promise of a bright future for me.
The results came and though it read NEGATIVE, for me it was the most positive word I've ever laid my eyes on. The first person I told the good news to was Papa, of course, who was so happy and grateful to the Lord that he overcame his fear of speaking in public for a while, and was able to testify in our church.
Before I entered NKTI, I had to have another Hepatitis B and C screening. My fears came back and a part of me worried and thought, what if it was the second test that yielded a false negative result? But this time, I didn't cling to my books first, instead I clung to my Bible and pondered and claimed 1 John 4:18. I surrendered everything to God and now I'm on my way to promotion, all because of God's love and faithfulness.
You must think, I must have been completely relieved by now, but the fear I felt this morning reminded me that if it hadn't been for God, I would have succumbed to and have been paralyzed with my fears. Who knows if the first test was really false positive? Now that I think about it again, it could really have been positive, but the God I serve is so awesome and powerful and nothing is impossible for Him.
The result of the free test this morning yielded another NEGATIVE result. It's been almost a year since my last test and everyday, I am exposed not just to Hepatitis C but also Hepatitis B, HIV, TB and many other diseases. I've had work-related injuries and accidents as well but each day, I surrender myself to the Lord and pray that his holy blood would cover me and protect me from all harm. I try to be careful, but I fail most of the time. Buti na lang I serve an immutable and unfailing God who loves me and cares for me.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
The book I'm currently reading gave an example about a woman who was on a spiritual limb, who wouldn't know what would happen to her if God would let her go. I can relate with her in many ways, because I have no idea (and I don't want to know) where I'd be if God is not my Savior and Lord over my life. With all my shortcomings and weaknesses, He allowed me to serve him, overcome great feats in His name, and even achieve things that others could only dream of.
Today's supposed to be my panel interview for promotion. I have set this as one of my faith goals for this year and as early as now, He is helping me set my foundations. But that's another story, and I promise to make a full account of it when I finally get promoted.
The interview did not push through and will be rescheduled so we were about to go home when we learned of a free Hepatitis C screening sponsored by the IM Department in our hospital. I honestly did not want to go for fear of a positive result. This fear of mine goes way back- since 4th Year College. Our college organization had a blood letting drive and those who wanted to participate were allowed to be excused from class. Not that I wanted to miss the lecture because that hardly ever happens, but I haven't had any experience in donating blood and I really wanted to try it so I went, passed the initial screening and was allowed to donate blood. I was so happy with what I did and aside from that first time experience, I also got to try how it felt to momentarily lose consciousness, or in our jargon- syncope. It didn't last for a long time, thank God, with all the nurses and doctors who were around me and immediately provided first-aid treatment.
But one of the biggest scares in my life came a month later. Free screening came with our blood donation and the results were sent to our college in white envelopes. The others' results weren't sealed but mine was, and I've already taken a hint from that. When I opened my results, it read that I was POSITIVE for Hepatitis C. We were having our yearbook staff meeting then but I could hardly think anymore. I guess I remained calm on the outside (thinking about it, I really wasn't so sure anymore..haha) but in my mind, I was overwhelmed with fears and worries for myself, for my family, and for many other things which probably didn't really matter. I feared for my career as a nurse, for the pain it would bring to my family, and for my life. Rationalization became my defense mechanism. The moment I got to the dorm, I clung to my books and started reading about Hepatitis C- the course of the disease, the symptoms which I never had, the possible remaining years I had, and the availability of treatment. I had doubts as to how I got it, the disease being blood-borne, but going to Red Cross and talking with one of their staff didn't do me any good, with all that 'this is going to be confidential' serious and sad talk that made me even depressed. I wanted to keep it to myself at first, not wanting to agonize my father, but I needed someone who will listen, and whom I can trust. Also, I needed money to pay for a legitimate laboratory test..haha.
Telling Papa about it however had it's share of pros and cons. Telling him gave me someone who loves me, pray for me; but he was an even worse worrier (baka melancholic din si papa) than I was and I felt guilty for being the cause of his sleepless nights, and knowing Papa, probably a significant amount of tears as well. Subjecting myself to a proper diagnostic test was a test of courage in itself, not knowing what awaits me, but there was no other way to confirm or negate it so I did it; trusting God and praying hard, and clinging to his promise of a bright future for me.
The results came and though it read NEGATIVE, for me it was the most positive word I've ever laid my eyes on. The first person I told the good news to was Papa, of course, who was so happy and grateful to the Lord that he overcame his fear of speaking in public for a while, and was able to testify in our church.
Before I entered NKTI, I had to have another Hepatitis B and C screening. My fears came back and a part of me worried and thought, what if it was the second test that yielded a false negative result? But this time, I didn't cling to my books first, instead I clung to my Bible and pondered and claimed 1 John 4:18. I surrendered everything to God and now I'm on my way to promotion, all because of God's love and faithfulness.
You must think, I must have been completely relieved by now, but the fear I felt this morning reminded me that if it hadn't been for God, I would have succumbed to and have been paralyzed with my fears. Who knows if the first test was really false positive? Now that I think about it again, it could really have been positive, but the God I serve is so awesome and powerful and nothing is impossible for Him.
The result of the free test this morning yielded another NEGATIVE result. It's been almost a year since my last test and everyday, I am exposed not just to Hepatitis C but also Hepatitis B, HIV, TB and many other diseases. I've had work-related injuries and accidents as well but each day, I surrender myself to the Lord and pray that his holy blood would cover me and protect me from all harm. I try to be careful, but I fail most of the time. Buti na lang I serve an immutable and unfailing God who loves me and cares for me.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
The book I'm currently reading gave an example about a woman who was on a spiritual limb, who wouldn't know what would happen to her if God would let her go. I can relate with her in many ways, because I have no idea (and I don't want to know) where I'd be if God is not my Savior and Lord over my life. With all my shortcomings and weaknesses, He allowed me to serve him, overcome great feats in His name, and even achieve things that others could only dream of.
Thank you Lord for allowing me to be a channel of your blessings to others, and for giving me many opportunities to give You glory. I'll continue to work hard, knowing and trusting that You will never let me go. Again I say I have no idea what awaits me tomorrow, or the following days, weeks, months and years but I just know that with You, my bright future is sealed. Everyday is a process of letting go of my fears and holding on to your promises, but I have faith that you will continue to grant me the grace each day to choose to believe, assured that your love can make the impossible possible for me. Again, Thank You!!!! I love you!
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Krispy Kreme Pull-apart
After a long-time absence, I'm temporarily on a blogging mode stint because of this-
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| Source |
Today's a fun, laid-back yet productive day for me. I woke up at almost lunch time, had breakfast/lunch, spent time with God, took a bath then went to the mall to have my phone checked. I was in the mood to dress up so I literally wore a dress instead of shorts, which is just as cool in this very hot weather of ours. I anticipated that checking my phone would take hours so I brought the laptop with me and looked for the nearest wifi zone to do some work. I ended up at Kripy Kreme where I ordered the doughnut with almonds, Mocha Latte Chiller, and my current peyborit- Sausage and Cheese Pull-apart! Interestingly, it wasn't my first time to taste it, but now I'm already looking forward to my next sausage and cheese pull-apart experience!
The tech advised to have my phone reformatted but I need time to back-up all the numbers in my phone book so I'll just be coming back. I was also able to do some shopping afterwards (even though I didn't have heart to spend my money on clothes I just want 'coz I'm thrifty like that), and some work again at home after dinner so overall, this is a fruitful OFF day from work!
I know I'm not talking any blog-worthy sense but I'm just happy! haha...Thank you Lord!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
I could sing of your love forever
Here's my song of the week...or more like song of the month.
This was one of my song choices when I was tasked to lead worship in church 3 weeks ago but I couldn't seem to make it fit...then. I'm once again privileged to lead worship this week and this is included in my song lineup though not exactly this version.
This song would always be one of my favorites and I like all versions but this is the first time I got to listen to this one and I just couldn't help but smile- which I do whenever I hear music that I really really like, not so much in a teary-eyed way.
Thank you Lord for creating music, for speaking to our hearts through it, and for not limiting the ways by which we could sing for you. I'll always strive to be better, not so I would sound better to anybody else but YOU! With your grace, I hope to sing of your love forever!
P.S.
I'll make a mental note to have Ate Angel and Micah listen to this as well. Ate will surely love all the ad-libs...haha
Thursday, February 7, 2013
2013 and my best new year resolve to date:)
I'm a few months late for a New Year Resolve but I've already been doing it in the past weeks so just to make it legit, here's my written commitment:
This 2013, I resolve to be an Inspiration and Encouragement to others, and to shed a glimpse of God's love to people I encounter the best way I can.
I do it every now and then actually- sharing words of encouragement, giving a simple gift, expressing my gratefulness, lending a hand, and showing my appreciation, especially for people I like; but this year, without being biased, I pray that God would give me the eyes to see, the ears to hear, and the sensitivity to His Spirit and to the needs of His children. Further, may I have the courage to go past beyond my shyness, and the strength to overcome personal obstacles, that I may boldly and gladly be a channel of blessing to His children thru the opportunities He has given me.
I've done it before and just today, I randomly left a comment to an old classmate's sad status update, and sent an email to a random blogger I've been following, who seem to be going through a tough time. It feels really great! I am hoping for replies, not for my credit but for God's glory, but even if I don't get them, I know that God is already glorified knowing that I am doing my best to let His light shine in my life.
To my credit, I think this is my best New Year Resolve to date...haha...and if it's any indication, thank you Lord for making me more and more like you each day. I know I'm still a million miles away, but with your Spirit living in me, may I never get tired of trying, never trusting in my own abilities and always holding on to your promise that 'I can do all things through thee who gives me strength.'
This 2013, I resolve to be an Inspiration and Encouragement to others, and to shed a glimpse of God's love to people I encounter the best way I can.
I do it every now and then actually- sharing words of encouragement, giving a simple gift, expressing my gratefulness, lending a hand, and showing my appreciation, especially for people I like; but this year, without being biased, I pray that God would give me the eyes to see, the ears to hear, and the sensitivity to His Spirit and to the needs of His children. Further, may I have the courage to go past beyond my shyness, and the strength to overcome personal obstacles, that I may boldly and gladly be a channel of blessing to His children thru the opportunities He has given me.
I've done it before and just today, I randomly left a comment to an old classmate's sad status update, and sent an email to a random blogger I've been following, who seem to be going through a tough time. It feels really great! I am hoping for replies, not for my credit but for God's glory, but even if I don't get them, I know that God is already glorified knowing that I am doing my best to let His light shine in my life.
To my credit, I think this is my best New Year Resolve to date...haha...and if it's any indication, thank you Lord for making me more and more like you each day. I know I'm still a million miles away, but with your Spirit living in me, may I never get tired of trying, never trusting in my own abilities and always holding on to your promise that 'I can do all things through thee who gives me strength.'
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