New ID, New Role

I finally got my ID today!; hence, the picture...haha. It's supposed to be the star, but my pacute face seemingly but unintentionally managed to outshine my brand new ID...mwahaha.

I did promise that I would write about my promotion once it became final. I kept on delaying it for weeks but when I got my ID this afternoon, I felt so legit and I figured this would be the perfect and probably my last chance to write about it, else it'll just be among the many milestones and events I failed to document because of my laziness.

I've already gushed about it but I say it again- this promotion is really BIG DEAL for me. My faith goal for this year is to have my foundations set and God has already answered my prayer work-wise by making me a permanent employee of our venerable institution! To be promoted after a year would probably seem lame in an outsider's point of view, but for us nurses and for me most especially, It's a Miracle!...haha. It's not that I'm far from being qualified because I am, but I'm also only one out of the hundreds who are also qualified, with some surely more qualified than I am if years of service would be a top criterion. The delay in the promotion is simply a reality that we had to accept; but as in all waiting periods, whether it's waiting for God or for a mate (naks), one can choose to wait passively or actively. Syempre dun ako sa actively!:) I kept on praying until I was recommended and prayed even harder together with my family as I moved on to the exams, the interview, and finally, the appointment. I also continued to work hard and excellently, grabbing opportunities to aid my colleagues and share whatever I can contribute to our ward and to the department. I know of colleagues though, with similar and for some, even more exemplary work ethic. Why they do not get recommended early on by their head nurses is a mystery to me so I also thank the Lord for my head nurse who was so kind to recommend almost all of us in the ward. Another super thank you Lord for blessing the hands of those who held my paper and supported the recommendation!

And of course, as in all promotions, we are now entitled to benefits we only heard of before; and this is where my testimony on giving comes in. You see, my income is just enough for my self-imposed obligatory savings + expenses. Whenever I receive my salary, I set aside my tithes which is 10 percent foremost, then make do with whatever is left. I used to be so worried about my finances I didn't realize I wasn't trusting God fully to provide all our needs. So one day I made a run down of my expenses: insurance, grocery, market, water, electricity, internet, helper, etc. in my mind and just surrendered it all to God. On top of that, I have also committed to give a certain amount to our church for the missions and to Kuya Carlo, a CCC campus missionary in support of his ministry, in amounts higher that what I was giving last year. With all these responsibilities came a lot of what ifs. But God has provided me with his own versions of what ifs, with the biggest one saying- What if you'd press on in obedience to my call and allow me to work through you?

For me, the benefits that would come with the promotion along with the many other surprises I get here and there is God saying you can't outgive me. It's God telling me- Katy, you made those commitments in faith, now let me show you what I can do because you believed. And truly, we've never lacked anything. Although I had to borrow money from Ate recently to comply with all my requirements for the promotion and to update my licenses, with advance lunch treats included, I am confident that God will make a way for me so I can return the money asap. Also, I am in no way being rushed to pay so I can save up for it little by little without any pressure:)

And just when I thought that was it for the meantime, I was once again surprised with my reassignment from the ward as a staff nurse to the office as a research nurse. I've been there for more than 3 weeks now but still in the process of getting used to the whereabouts involved with the job. I have the nicest colleagues and I certainly have better working conditions. I don't get tired too much physically, but my brain's been getting a lot of work and there are a lot of times when I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. Truth be told, I feel like a novice all over again and I'm inwardly dreading the day when Mam Yet has to leave us for good. Thank God that this time, I know better than to worry. I have supportive heads and colleagues and I know that God has placed me here for a reason. So armed with every weapon I need from Him and drawing assurance from his unfailing love and grace, I'm gonna do my very best to grow where I am planted- giving my all to whatever's assigned to me; learning from my own experiences and others' teachings; sharing whatever talents I have; being a good subordinate, coworker and friend; and most of all, being a servant of Christ.

For the days and months to come, I know I'll be encountering a different set of challenges and changes. But thank you Lord that I can be secured in your unwavering love and grace that only increases with every problem I encounter. You are my refuge, my provider, my miracle worker and my friend; and in your name, I claim that I can do all things through Thee who gives me strength.:) 

As I Wait on You

Beginning this year, June 1 will always be a memorable day for me as today marks my appointment as Nurse 1...woohoo!

It probably seems like a small achievement to some, but for me, it is a testament of God's goodness and faithfulness in fulfilling his promises and wonderful plans for me. Recalling my previous posts more than a year ago, I would oftentimes talk about losing heart and turning to God for strength and courage to wait on him whenever I felt that life wasn't fair especially relating to this job of mine. But as I sat there at the conference room, answering questions from the interview panel just a day after celebrating my first anniversary as Nurse 1-Job Order, my  heart was overflowing with so much joy and gratefulness, knowing that it is only through God's grace and favor that I got this far. I look at those seated beside me, at nurses whom I consider as senior colleagues, having seen them during my training days 2-3 years ago and I marvel at how much I am loved by the Big Guy upstairs:)

They say 'Ang galing galing mo naman.', but I proudly said during the interview that I am so grateful, and the glory is God's for this opportunity he has given me. As 1 Cor 1:31 says,

Therefore, as it is written: "Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."

So I say thank you Lord for giving me knowledge, wisdom, and strength each day, and for pulling me through every duty miraculously with little to zero mishap..haha..Thank you for providing me with opportunities to let your line shine brighter through me; and for my supportive immediately family, workmates, and friends who prayed for me and understood my lapses whenever I lacked sleep. And thank you for your perfect timing!!!

I am anticipating, and am somewhat worried of changes to come but I am more excited this time, knowing that wherever you will lead me, you will be with me, and will take care of me. 

I love you Jesus!

God of my Future

Today is another of those special days. God is good- He has always been good to me; and in His immense goodness, beauty, and power, He didn't allow all days to seem regular. Every now and then, he allows challenges to come my way maybe to test me; but more surely, to amaze me and draw me even closer to Him.

Today's supposed to be my panel interview for promotion. I have set this as one of my faith goals for this year and as early as now, He is helping me set my foundations. But that's another story, and I promise to make a full account of it when I finally get promoted.

The interview did not push through and will be rescheduled so we were about to go home when we learned of a free Hepatitis C screening sponsored by the IM Department in our hospital. I honestly did not want to go for fear of a positive result. This fear of mine goes way back- since 4th Year College. Our college organization had a blood letting drive and those who wanted to participate were allowed to be excused from class. Not that I wanted to miss the lecture because that hardly ever happens, but I haven't had any experience in donating blood and I really wanted to try it so I went, passed the initial screening and was allowed to donate blood. I was so happy with what I did and aside from that first time experience, I also got to try how it felt to momentarily lose consciousness, or in our jargon- syncope. It didn't last for a long time, thank God, with all the nurses and doctors who were around me and immediately provided first-aid treatment.

But one of the biggest scares in my life came a month later. Free screening came with our blood donation and the results were sent to our college in white envelopes. The others' results weren't sealed but mine was, and I've already taken a hint from that. When I opened my results, it read that I was POSITIVE for Hepatitis C. We were having our yearbook staff meeting then but I could hardly think anymore. I guess I remained calm on the outside (thinking about it, I really wasn't so sure anymore..haha) but in my mind, I was overwhelmed with fears and worries for myself, for my family, and for many other things which probably didn't really matter. I feared for my career as a nurse, for the pain it would bring to my family, and for my life. Rationalization became my defense mechanism. The moment I got to the dorm, I clung to my books and started reading about Hepatitis C- the course of the disease, the symptoms which I never had, the possible remaining years I had, and the availability of treatment. I had doubts as to how I got it, the disease being blood-borne, but going to Red Cross and talking with one of their staff didn't do me any good, with all that 'this is going to be confidential' serious and sad talk that made me even depressed. I wanted to keep it to myself at first, not wanting to agonize my father, but I needed someone who will listen, and whom I can trust. Also, I needed money to pay for a legitimate laboratory test..haha.

Telling Papa about it however had it's share of pros and cons. Telling him gave me someone who loves me, pray for me; but he was an even worse worrier (baka melancholic din si papa) than I was and I felt guilty for being the cause of his sleepless nights, and knowing Papa, probably a significant amount of tears as well. Subjecting myself to a proper diagnostic test was a test of courage in itself, not knowing what awaits me, but there was no other way to confirm or negate it so I did it; trusting God and praying hard, and clinging to his promise of a bright future for me.

The results came and though it read NEGATIVE, for me it was the most positive word I've ever laid my eyes on. The first person I told the good news to was Papa, of course, who was so happy and grateful to the  Lord that he overcame his fear of speaking in public for a while, and was able to testify in our church.

Before I entered NKTI, I had to have another Hepatitis B and C screening. My fears came back and a part of me worried and thought, what if it was the second test that yielded a false negative result? But this time, I didn't cling to my books first, instead I clung to my Bible and pondered and claimed 1 John 4:18. I surrendered everything to God and now I'm on my way to promotion, all because of God's love and faithfulness.

You must think, I must have been completely relieved by now, but the fear I felt this morning reminded me  that if it hadn't been for God, I would have succumbed to and have been paralyzed with my fears. Who knows if the first test was really false positive? Now that I think about it again, it could really have been positive, but the God I serve is so awesome and powerful and nothing is impossible for Him.

The result of the free test this morning yielded another NEGATIVE result. It's been almost a year since my last test and everyday, I am exposed not just to Hepatitis C but also Hepatitis B, HIV, TB and many other diseases. I've had work-related injuries and accidents as well but each day, I surrender myself to the Lord and pray that his holy blood would cover me and protect me from all harm. I try to be careful, but I fail most of the time. Buti na lang I serve an immutable and unfailing God who loves me and cares for me.


11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11
The book I'm currently reading gave an example about a woman who was on a spiritual limb, who wouldn't know what would happen to her if God would let her go. I can relate with her in many ways, because I have no idea (and I don't want to know) where I'd be if God is not my Savior and Lord over my life. With all my shortcomings and weaknesses, He allowed me to serve him, overcome great feats in His name, and even achieve things that others could only dream of.

Thank you Lord for allowing me to be a channel of your blessings to others, and for giving me many opportunities to give You glory. I'll continue to work hard, knowing and trusting that You will never let me go. Again I say I have no idea what awaits me tomorrow, or the following days, weeks, months and years but I just know that with You, my bright future is sealed. Everyday is a process of letting go of my fears and holding on to your promises, but I have faith that you will continue to grant me the grace each day to choose to believe, assured that your love can make the impossible possible for me. Again, Thank You!!!! I love you!